his is the best fan letter i ever got yo’
peep this…
> Subject: damn girl, you the shit
>
>
> i once thought you was funny.
> not haha funny, but the kind
> of funny you hear and go, my,
> yes, that was amusing, in my
> OH-SO-WHITE way. i’d tell people,
> my yes, that Miz Cho, she sure
> was funny, and they’d look back
> at me like a dog shown a card trick
> (to steal a refrence from bill hicks,
> see, unlike denis leary, i give credit
> where credit is due).
Bill Hicks is the one comic I wish we had right here right now, we could use his help… but clearly, you know your shit homie.
> but slowly, every so slowly, after
> your two concert films hit my
> video store, i realized you was
> much more than the funny my
> breed of cat was used to seeing
> on the good old teevee. see, i
> am a comedy snob. i see a new
> cat up there i’m daring them to
> make me laugh cuz i’ve seen the
> fuckin’ best, man.
Oh me too. I am soooo the worst Easter Island critic… stone head, comics do not laugh….
> bill hicks, richard pryor, george
> carlin, sam kinison, i even saw
> andy kaufman live when i was
> fuckin’ 8 years old, thanks to my
> hours of begging to maw and paw.
That is worthy of some type of award.
> make me laugh, asshole, that
> was… and still is… my mantra.
> my friends, they sit down to
> watch a jerry seinfeld special
> like it was the second fucking
> coming. all i can say is, hey
> man, he’s telling the same jokes
> he told a fucking decade ago,
> how is that funny? they shrug
> and tell me to get another beer.
> like that’ll make his tired ass
> shit funny all of a sudden.
Seinfeld is cool though, he started a genre, an era, he is a master OG pimp in his own way. Gotta give props.
>anyhoo, getting back on topic
> an’ shit, how the fuck did you
> get so funny under my radar?
> beats the shit outta me, man.
> you got it ALL goin’ on, funny,
> classy, hip, topical, and a gold
> star fag hag to boot. damn,
> that’s some serious street cred,
> yo. having family in the rainbow
> community (my mom and my
> aunt) i can dig where yer coming
> from.
That is all the way live. I get like all Chingy and want to do it right thurrr and chill at the Holiday Inn and shit… damn!
> still, i just don’t know how i didn’t
> see yer fine ass on the horizon
> making me piss myself laughing
> until it was too late.
>
> and the blog don’t help none.
> sure, a lot of the time, it’s all
> serious. i’m down with that, shit
> happens, people you love, damn,
> they just up and die on you. at
> each of my friends funerals all I
> could think was, dude, for serious,
> not cool, man. Way to fucking die
> on me, asswipe. but, for the most
> part, i know, chances are, that at
> the end of my miserable, shit for
> nothing day, I got yer blog to look
> forward to. And that, maybe, I’ll
> be able to laugh.
You are like totally making me cry and shit now. Why you got to go and make my eyeliner all runny and shit?
> Unlike that well meaning but
> updates his “blog” once a fucking
> month douchebag Bill Maher, I
> know you got more rhymes in
> you than Puffy’s got guns.
I don’t know about that, but that is a dope metaphor and shit.
> Fight the good fight my friend,
> and if you ever get truly bored,
> hunt me down, and maybe, for
> a change, I can make you laugh.
> It’s more than I could do for Sam
> or Bill, and what I owe them can
> never be collected.
>
> It’s just another fucking ride,
>
> G.
What you did for me today is golden, and by proxy maybe you did it for Bill and Sam too, because we are all on a mission, this truth crusade, and I am not saying that I am them, but I love them like you do, and I want to carry the shit on and on till the break of Tommy Chong (outta jail).
Thank you G – you my dawg.
MC
PS I am so doing the Cabbage Patch right now!