Of course I didn’t see that shit, but supposedly Bette Midler said on Larry King that same sex marriage doesn’t look like it would work because gay men are so promiscuous that they would just be cheating on each other constantly. That is a fucked thing to say, seeing that she was the one in the seventies performing in bathhouses. You would think that she would be championing gay rights more fervently. These statements are not much different than what Falwell and all the 700 club posse are saying, who say that homosexuality is like polygamy or bestiality. What the fuck, Bette? I mean, you are the Divine Miss M and all that, but what would you have without the undying support of gay men? Who do you think is your audience? I suppose it isn’t as bad as “If God had meant gay men to exist he would have made Adam and Steve” – which supposedly Donna Summer never said, but it wrecked her reputation with her gay fans.
I mean, it is funny to joke about how gay men do have a defined sex culture that springs forth from a history of having to hide their identity in darkened alleys and unmarked doors that would open into speakeasy barrooms, where there was no speaking, just easy, and this legacy has followed us into this new century, but it is a bittersweet joke. It is about how when we are not allowed to be who we are, we take whatever we can get. Times have changed. Sexual predator is an identity we are desperately trying to shed. And then we have gay icons, who have built their empires on gay money distancing themselves in a ‘safe’ way from the fans who made them ‘divine’ in the first place making an argument against the fact that we are not human enough to have families, to have commitments, to have the same rights as all other Americans. Heterosexual Americans. Since when has the dick flailing, cruising, drug addicted, circuit boy/man/queen/hairdresser/std carrier become the symbol for all of gay culture? Admittedly, I am like that. But that is just me. And who is to take on the authority to claim that all gay Americans are just examples of this stereotype? I don’t understand what Miss M is trying to do, besides sit on the fence of conservative ideals while still maintaining a bullshit posture that she has gay friends, so it is cool.
I have gay friends who are raising families, who are struggling to hang onto their kids, who stay home at night and rent “Beaches” time and time again because there is nothing else for them out there in the scene anymore. They have grown up and have babies and are living the lives that they have always wanted to live. They are loving each other and that is enough, just like it is enough for countless families all over the world. I have straight friends who will stay out all night, cheating on their spouses, doing drugs, dancing shirtless to house music. It is fun to make jokes about the status of gay culture and it being based on sex, drugs and Paul Oakenfold, but really, the laughter has two distinct beats to it. The first is the acknowledgement of this ever present social view of who we are, and the second is our own failed attempts at aligning ourselves to it, because when that is all you have to identify with, who else are you supposed to be?
I suppose that you are old school, Bette, where gay is one way, and that is that, and you sit in your mermaid tail and wheel yourself around in a wheelchair flashing your green sequins and judging the distance between yourself and your audience. I don’t blame you for that, and all I am saying is that maybe you need to return to the sea now. You have spent enough time on the beach. Hey Bette! Remember what it was like to be wet, in the bathhouses, steamy with hope and laughter and wonder. before AIDS, when it was still chic to be a homo, and not deadly or sick or slutty or dirty? Why aren’t you back there? I followed in your footsteps and now I don’t want to anymore so, like that old story goes, do I have to carry you?