I finally got around to looking at some of my Christmas cards just today and I apologize that I am not one of those people that goes and sends them out – my mind is too disorganized and works on its own schedule, so holiday traditions that need forethought and preparation are delegated to another group of people that are emotionally equipped to deal with that type of thing.
My friends, who are numerous, gregarious, will not stop staying ‘in touch,’ will not leave me alone, yet when they do contact me, it is in such a distant manner that they might as well be poking me with a long, long stick. I believe that I am some type of magnet for the form letter, the information packed greeting card that details all the wonderful accomplishments for the past year, ruling out any kind of – oh I don’t know – intimacy, yet retaining a sense of oneupsmanship that the folks in my industry so love.
“She was born on April 21, 2003, 4:09 am!” to “Here is our new home!” with photos along with the awards and accolades that they have achieved in the workplace and a general “Top that!” feeling throughout, leaving one desolate, lonely, believing that the world is unjust, unfair and close to ending.
If I were to do one, it might be like this.
Dear Person That I Never See, Yet Still Considers Themselves My Friend No Matter How Many Times I Have Moved And Purposely Not Had My Mail Forwarded,
I really don’t give a shit about what happened to you this year, because you are not someone I think about EVER unless I get a Xerox copy of all the bullshit that happened to YOU this year, and I am forced to read about it in order to make fun of you. Thanks a lot for wasting my time and countless other people’s time – God knows how many you inflict this type of snail SPAM under the guise of good will. But since you took the time to do this, I believe that I must return the favor.
This past year, I had several months of visiting hospitals and caring for the people I truly love, dealing with major life threatening illnesses. I am still recuperating from that, as it was just as harrowing for me to witness the frailty of the human body, to witness all the different kinds of pain that exist out there. I was not ill myself, but it showed me how we are all just almost there. I would go into rooms that were not mine, yet became mine, for all the suffering is mine too. I am an empathy ridden social pariah, and so these institutions are very much a part of who I am. One weekend, I laid out my planner. Hospital – Hospital – Funeral – Fundraiser Dinner, in which the ashes of a teenage transgender girl who had been murdered just weeks before, were brought by the victim’s mother. When you were installing your new hot tub, that is where I was, so sorry I didn’t get to go to your tub warming.
I got in a fight with Jerry Falwell and made him go all apeshit on me because I told him that homosexuality had nothing to do with incest, polygamy or NAMBLA. He actually invoked the name of the North American Man Boy Love Association – in order to connect the GLBT with pedophiles – who I consider one step ahead of the Catholic Church – because at least they admit and are proud to be child molesters. I told Falwell that his views were questionable and absurd and to remember that he was the one who proclaimed “Tinky Winky.” the Purple Teletubby to be gay.
I got married, then unexpectedly and unwillingly separated from my husband, who I love most of all in the world, which caused me to have a nervous breakdown and also a number of accidents in the kitchen. Who knows how many bowls were lost in that dark time? Fortunately my family is back together again and I feel happier than ever with the love in my home. This joyful calm existence was then called a ‘hypocrisy’ because being a gay activist and being married was considered the wrong thing to be, since the same sex marriage issue is still up for political debate, an atrocity, not just a hypocrisy. So instead of blaming a system that would be responsible for this type of prejudiced thinking, they would point the finger at me and say it is my fault. Fuck all y’all.
I got carpal tunnel syndrome and so therefore had to give up Ebay, which was harder to kick than smoking.
I lost my favorite artist in the world. “I’ll never know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow.”
Gotta run! 2004’s just around the corner!
yeah, hi, i have discovered some vids with frank cho on youtube from his drawing workshop, it s funny and amazing, you can visit also my web and leave me message, but its in czech language, nevermind, i have a section dedicated to comics and im glad for every visitor, you can write in english, thank you for your work here.
but now i look very carefully, you are another cho, dont you, yes, but every cho is good cho 🙂