I am scared when people get lost. There are small mysteries that remain unsolved because their smallness gets swallowed up in the bigness of the grand mystery that life is. What is the point of looking for a couple of people when we don’t even know why we are here?

I want to look for them though. I want to find them. I don’t care how small the mystery is. I want to know. I want to know why and how.

My friend is making a film about these lost guys. There’s a trailer and everything.

Perhaps it’s not a disappearance with metaphysical causes and complications, but it could be. The point of vanishing, the last time seen, the last footage taken – these all seem like psychic crisis and blues clues.

Do you remember Leonard nimoy’s series from the 70s? I get scared thinking about it and I still can’t sleep over certain episodes and I haven’t seen it in 25 years. Even though the show featured ostensibly scarier scenarios like poltergeists and alien abductions, that old series “in search of” terrified me the most when they talked about missing people, their final acts, on planes flying above the Bermuda triangle.

There was a blurry, oddly composed photo of Amelia earhart, nose of a plane almost touching the nose of her face. There was something about it, the look on her handsome visage, lost already somehow, before the camera, before she was lost to the rest of the world. now I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

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12 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. I have brain malfunctions that make it easy for me to get lost, sometimes in places I should be achingly familiar with. The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and the rising panic at being completely disoriented and surrounded by strangers who may or may not be hostile to me is nearly unbearable. So far I’ve always been able to find my way again, knock on wood.

  2. That Leonard Nimoy show terrified me too! TV was scarier then when it was scary, like America’s unknown fears were boiled down into just a few stories, they had so much power. Even just saying “The Exorcist” or “The Shining” is still a little scary to me.

  3. that is hilarious. thanks for that posting. apart from “reporters without borders” and knowing the severity of that apart from having to work on documentaries with absolute cunts, the journalism can be more touching. the other aspect of leonard nimoy…i prefer dr. spock to mr. spock. he had it going on relative to parenting and caretaking where so many people on a documentary have been such racist, chauvinist, homophobic trolls. oh well. but thanks for the comical post. love you.

  4. journalism in its true form can be harsh. such as i love diane sawyer — yes, there are plenty of others….but, thinking of a drag queen singing “barbie’s world” this evening along south beach — cute, but then i was thinking of the irony of these women who are very beautiful, courageous, dignified, caring, who go into these zones to get stories and are certainly not spiking holes in the banquettes at bungalow 8 with their stilettos — simply that variance between the harshness of journalism that may seem squeaky clean at “air-time” in front of the camera, but the grind at other times — dear lord. is there a reason that ken doesn’t have a dick or balls? that guy in sliver with sharon stone — was he a man? have a great weekend.

  5. I’m listening to “Don’t Sleep I’m Not What I Seem, I’m a Very Quiet Storm” by Leyland Kirby and it is perfect to listen to while reading your post ‘Lost’ Sad, kind of spooky, very poiqnant, like your writing. Find it if you can! I got it from the SF public library. Anyway, I loved your post although it kind of scared me a little. There is a place that isn’t really a place where the lost dwell, occasionally we encounter them in our dreams, sometimes they appear unexpectedly and startle us into lucidity. As I grow older I mourn for the lost, for I, like many people my age, have lost an entire world. I suspect there was a lot more you could have said but couldn’t put into words. Your blog is a treasure! There aren’t many blogs like yours that I have seen.

  6. I just got through posting a much longer response to your post on my own blog, russell5087.wordpress.com and also russellpop.wordpress.com with a youTube video of the Leyland Kirby piece I mentioned.

  7. Margaret–loved seeing you on Melissa Harris-Perry’s show recently discussing poverty. I hope you blog more about this and other issues that affect people across the country and world. I admire you for ALL you do–thanks for keeping up the good fight. 🙂

  8. Thanks for all your responses!! Xoxo all of you! And Russell I’m such a fan of your writing! So we are even. Thanks for always being so supportive. I feel like I’m being heard so beautifully. Thank you. M

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