Pistol Whipped

Everyone was trying to pit me against Bristol, but the truth is, we got along well. She never asked me to babysit Tripp or anything like that, but I consider her a friend. So what’s my take on her television debut? Well…

Why did Bristol do Dancing with the Stars? I heard from someone who really should know (really should seriously know the dirt really really) that the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it. Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly (in the circles that I heard it from) for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol she “owed” it to her to do DWTS so that “America would fall in love with her again” and make it possible for Sarah Palin to run in 2012 with America behind her all the way. Instead of being supposedly “handicapped” by the presence of her teen mom daughter, now Bristol is going to be an “asset” – a celebrity beloved for her dancing. I am sure the show wasn’t in on this (but who knows anything really).

Although I don’t agree with the family’s politics at all, I really like Bristol as a person. She’s warm and incredibly supportive, and I think that she looks beautiful out on the dance floor. It’s heartbreaking that people are so awful to her about her weight. I think she looks fantastic, and why does everybody think they have a right to comment on our bodies? What are young girls going to take away from that? If people call her fat what kind of impact does that have on women who have similar body types – which is most of us??!! Still, it is a dance competition, and so I am sure that people feel they have the right to judge bodies and not just ability. That’s just wrong.

Bristol is learning. She improved a lot, in my opinion. Her tango was fierce and really the best dance she did. You really do learn to dance in this competition! I am proud of her for shaking her ass! But keep in mind there are other forces at work here and it’s not just for the love of dance.

Now I am scared I am going to wake up with a decapitated moose head in my bed.

171 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Yes! I can’t believe you are attacking Margaret over this. YOu need to look at Bristol herself and Mama Grisly. Their record speaks volumes.

    Tim, you’ve gone off the deep end! Guys in white jackets are ready to carry you off. Please get some smarts and educate yourself. Look up the laws and rules of this country. Racist?

    OK, I’m looking for the moose head.

  2. Listen. Please don’t blame it on Sarah that all you harpies are losers and a god awful ugly mass. Just look at the lot of you. Go to some preacher and try to be healed.

  3. Seriously, Margaret, Honey, I think the wittle gween monsta got a hold of ya….. Can some one say JEALOUS……Cause that is what you are girlfriend….do the world a favor keep your political issues to yourself you damn hypocrite…..You call for an “END” to Gay Bullying yet you Liberal Dumbasses attack and bully yourselves when something doesn’t go your way? PA-LEASE, also your not even good enough to be called a jackass for your national symbol cause at least the animals are cute and have ten times more the intelligence than all of you put together even if the only thing they can say is HEE-HAA, I think it a true insult to the race of donkies to categorize all of you people with them….. And who the hell are you again? Oh that’s right an F-rated comedian…. do us all a favor you and all your liberal buddies shut your hypocritical mouths because ummm that’s why you where booted off of DWTS, honey no one cared for the disgustingness that you stood for…Thank you and Good Day

  4. Margaret…how sad that you are spreading this second hand rumor. If Bristol was truly your “friend” why would you publicly hurt her in this way for indeed, this is a very hurtful blog. I think anyone who you count as a “friend” should watch their backs. Sad.

  5. GEEEZ…

    Just because you’re a bitchy dyke it doesn’t mean it’s a God given right to example your brain deadness.

  6. No need for Cho to tell us. Brsitol made it very clear she
    didn’t want to be there… over and over again. To me it
    was obvious she was there against her will… being “used”,

    Calling Cho names doesn’t change anything. I’m not a fan of
    Cho, but watching Bristol in DWTS was painful— it was heart
    wrenching to see her doing something she did not want to.
    My hat’s off to her for her effort and guts. I am sure she’ll
    eventually get even with those who coerced her. Time wounds all heels (said Lennon).

    Agreed, by the time they slipped her into the finals, she ,as
    anyone else, was excited.

  7. Look Margaret and all those that want to make lemons out of lemonade, at NO such time did Bristol state that she did not want to be there, only once she expressed being home sick (missed her family) after enduring a ridiculously horrid public attack by way too many & nor did she ever exhibit not having a positive experience. The story that her mother would force her to be on the show as some sort of political fallout payment is ABSURD…truly

    Put down the sour grapes, your faces are puckering

  8. Hey Margaret!

    Thanks for this post. You were hot on DWTS. Bristol always had this reluctant vibe to being on the show so it was interesting to read your post. I had a show-biz mom and I think that’s what Bristol has. She seems uncomfortable in her skin. There’s some hater-ade being poured on you from the Palin camp but I definitely feel more sympathetic towards Bristol after reading your post. So you might be one of her best friends at this point.
    I thought that guy she was paired with was a little to horney for the poor kid.

  9. Margaret is not making this up, it is common knowledge in Alaska. Easily proven with by the voting frenzy launched by Palin fanatics, the refusal to allow MTV “Teen Mom’s” in the audience and the obvious suffering Bristol was enduring. It’s scary to think a worldwide audience failed to recognize her weekly weight gain, a total of 26 pounds in less than three months. Tripp won’t be an only child, and there is so much more to the story.

  10. Well done! It is an old saying that the court jester is the only one that gets to speak the truth to the king! In this case, your truthful jesting to Queen Sarah. You have exposed her for what she is — and for what she and her daughter are not. You are a friend who accurately describes an abusive situation. Not unlike other abusive relationships, there is fall-out all around. And unfortunately that fallout includes us, the American people.

    I believe one of the original blue blood Mamma Grizzlies — Barbara Bush — spoke for all of us that if the Palins would just stay in Alaska, we would all be better off. I pray for Bristol’s and her child’s sake, she can stay out of the forced spotlight and try to live a “normal” life. (though I agree with one of your other posters here, she’s never had that in any form anyway.)

    Keep up the “truthiness” — Colbert would be proud.

  11. It’s nice you took the time to say so many nice things about Bristol. If it’s true or not the fact you claim to be friends with Bristol, yet post a negative statement regarding her mother. I really don’t care if it is true or not but any friend of mine must respect me and my family. That’s Bristol’s mom not just a public figure. A true friend would protect and shield you from any harm. So you may want to re-blog and say Bristol was a DWTS cast colleague not a friend.

  12. To Leeza your post was excellent!! Even Colbert could not have said it better!!

    Margaret- Thank you! Both for braving the “wrath of the momma grizzlies”(based on their posts here, they are just as hateful as Sarah) in taking on the quiter queen, and speaking the truth, but also for being a friend to Bristol!! I would bet that she was grateful for someone seeing her for who SHE is, and not judging her for being the daughter of ______ ! (fill in the blank) You know, the grizzly bear that was supposed to be protecting her!!!

  13. What a slag that Heather is. Slagging off here and slagging off there. And the irony calling liberals dumbassess! Someone who supports that garbled, low minded, moron calls someone who doesn’t a dumbass. Hahahahahahaha. Heather, grow something young and curious in that hard arsed republican heart of yours.

  14. Didn’t Sarah Palin say herself that DWTS wanted Todd first? He didn’t want to do it and so she offered Bristol. There is a video of that floating around somewhere.

  15. I see that Sarah’s rabid flying monkeys are out in force. It certainly lends credence to everything Margaret has said. Jealous? I don’t see one jealous comment in her article. In fact, Margaret was very kind and supportive of Bristol. Of Sarah? Not so much.

    Terrific article, Margaret! I have long felt sorry for the Palin kids, although, Bristol’s comment about the middle finger was below trashy. However, what can we expect? She is her mother’s (and I use that term loosely) daughter.

  16. Great post, sorry so late in saying so. The show and the judges in particular went WAY, WAY out of their way to act like Bristol was terrific or something when in fact she was lousy. I don’t think you were a fantastic dancer, Margaret, but you were at least as talented as Bristol and you were more fun to watch and you showed tremendous heart, which not every contestant shows.

    But what do people get for being nice to non-entities like Bristol? Read her completely ghostwritten Facebook reply, complete with k.d. lang/Indigo Girls anti-lezbo joke (like Bristol has EVER EVEN HEARD OF THE INDIGO GIRLS!).

    The Palins—all of them, even nice-seeming Bristol—are troglodytes. As offensive as it was to me to see them trotted out and given props on DANCING WITH THE STARS, it will be too much to accept if that vile woman wins the Republican nomination. Maybe the GOP will let her coast until the last second just so we’re all “relieved” when Mitt Romney or Mike Huckabee gets it…people who would normally be the ones giving us nightmares.

  17. Hate comments are a reflection of who you are in the bowels of your soul. A negative comment is a poor reflection of yourself. So when you want to show people how ugly you are, just say something hateful.. Gets you every time.. P.S.. Gets old and boring real quick too..

  18. Margaret please continue to speak up and ignore the flying monkey’s4palin!
    Well, Bristol has a facebook response written by the old grizzeled one’s ghost writer, and I won’t like to it but to a another blog that refers to it.
    So I guess Jennifer is next? Maks too? Both of them dared to speak against Bristol the pistol, lol Look that one up in the urban dictionary Margaret you could have a lot of fun with that in your show, just sayin’…!
    What we all want to know is why Brisket gained weight while everyone else lost? BIO???

  19. Wow.
    People scream “Who are you anyway?” after getting directed here from numerous blog websites running with this story like there was a cash prize attached to it.

    Apparently someone. But just as many hundreds of thousands, she is someone who wrote an op ed piece on her blog.

    A blog is a journal of someone’s opinions, of which people have freely expressed in the comment section.
    Did anyone who commented feel the need to fact check before posting?

    Is this an accredited media outlet or news site?

    Take it easy, Guys. She ain’t conspiring to change the world.
    She wrote a post on her blog.

  20. I know you gave Bristol Palin a chance and believed she was a friend but look at all of the negative energy she puts into the air.
    Doing DWTS was a good thing but Comedy is your best gift to this world and your a Pro 🙂
    i award you a 12 take thar Bruno!

  21. Margaret,
    I dont usually feel the need to post on these things, and I dont know if you’ll ever read this, and I believe you are enough of your own strong person that it’s not even necessary, but I must say:
    -Thank you for the post, and not being afraid of the crazied sarah palin support to speak out about what you knew. The public deserves a right to know who the Palins really are, not the fake images or the fake “reality” TV show family. And while I know that most people in American lack what we refer to as “common sense” and will never believe facts, just simply their passionate beliefs and propaganda in favor of such, at least you have made an effort to put the truth out there and stop the madness.
    – And to Bristol (or any other of Sarah’s children who may read this), I apoligize if it seems I’m “attacking” you. I believe you are a great girl, and as Margaret said, “a warm person,” simply caught up in the politics your parents have thrown you into. So please don’t take offense to my post. I know a families first instinct is to support one another no matter what, especially one that gets attacked as much as yours does publically, and because of your mother’s political ambitions you have even more pressure to publicly show support, but again I have nothing against Bristol, or any other Palin children, I think they deserve a chance to be their own people, outside of their mother’s ambitions and should not be “free game” for public scrutiny. My only issues is with the Sarah Palin “political machine, which I won’t get into anymore today.
    – And people out there, stop vicicously attacking Margaret for her words, simply because you stand behind the Palins. Unless you have proof that her statements are inncorrect, she has a right to speak and disagree with the Palin family politics, and you have a right to agree, but not to attack anyone personally. Why are you so full of hate that you would attack a person with hurtful words, true or not, for disagreeing with you? We are lucky to live in a country that we have the freedom of political beliefs, but you’re making yourself and your own beliefs look stupid and lack credibility, when you sick down to such a level. Be proud of what you stand for, and proud of how you stand for it, that if your children were to read it, they would be proud too!

  22. Margaret, I think you very nice and complimentary towards Bristol. You did go a bit too far with the comments about the motives of the Palins. Only they really know the truth, and unless you were quoting Bristol herself (or at least the source had spoken to the Palins) that was pretty irresponsible and kind of mean.

  23. Margaret,

    You are brave for writing this (and you were nice about it), and I completely believe you. Why DID Bristol gain so much weight? It defied logic, but even though I am scared to death of her mom, I have nothing against Bristol. I feel bad for her, really. I thought she did the best she could, until the \middle finger\ remark on the final night–that was not classy. But she’s a Palin, so…

    Thanks for writing the truth.

  24. Wow, I followed several different links to find this blog. I got here after googling and clicking several links on different stories after Margaret tweeted about Bristol asking her to rescind her comments. Now that I’ve read up, I’m thinking: Why the hell should she?

    Okay, so here’s the facts 1) Margaret Cho on her BLOG wrote about something she had a strong opinion about. 2)Most people who read Margaret Cho’s blog (or any celeb-blog for that matter) are FANS of Cho and would mostly agree or take no issue with her opinions of a given matter. 3) Someone (TMZ or the like) read her blog and made a big deal out of it and now 4) Haters and defenders are coming out and everyone has an opinion (including me)

    Mostly, my opinion is this, why should she take something back? To delete it like it never happened is to say, “Okay, if you yell at me a lot, I’ll only write what will not offend.” If that was how people operated, we’ d have no reason for blogs, vlogs, newspapers, magazines, media or anything else! Anyone can find anything to be offended by. Why delete it? It’s been quoted in so many magazine and online sites by this point, that to delete it would be worthless.

    Leave it be and stand by it. If she said it, and meant it. That’s all there is to it. Thankfully, we all have a 1st amendment right to write whatever we see fit, and this is Cho’s opinion blog. No one here is claiming she writes for the New York Times.

    Chill people. Tomorrow, this will be old news anyway.

  25. First: Protest too much there (you ironically named) “Not Gay”?!? But I digress. Bristol Palin is an ignorant, hypocritical hillbilly (without benefit of hills), and a lousy dancer. That her mother spouts off against white trash such as her daughter must really mess with her mainly empty head. Sarah? Go away, you’re an embarrassment.

  26. I agree with you 100% that her mother forced her to do the show. It’s all to keep the Palin name in the media until Sarah decides to run or become an anchor on Fox News.

    Did you see the gay joke Bristol made in reference to you? She’s a disgusting little creature

  27. Although I can’t fully endorse that you blogged about the rumors that touched off this tempest in a teapot, I love that you’re unfazed by the hysteria. If it was all to prove a point about the ugliness and pettiness of the Palin family and their supporters, then you’ve accomplished that in spades. By the way, I totally believe that what you said is the truth. Bristol’s visible discomfort and self-consciousness indicated that she didn’t want to be there.

    The ghostwritten facebook response was so transparent to be laughable. People have picked it apart already, but aside from the vocabulary that does not match up with her illiterate facebook exchanges and the musical references that prove someone at least 20 years older than her wrote it, the fact that it went out of its way to mention her mother’s first book and revisit the election shows that Sarah Palin is pulling the strings. Just as she is in probably everything Bristol does and says in public. It’s disgusting that this is how a family operates and insulting to people’s intelligence that they think they’re fooling everyone (unfortunately many are being fooled), but I’m glad that people are increasingly calling them out for their bs.

    So while I don’t love that you’ve gotten yourself tangled up in this, Margaret, I give you props for at least being on the side of the truth and not backing down. So have fun with it while it lasts, turn it into good material, and keep speaking the truth!

  28. Love ya Margaret !! Your interview on Mark and Merecedes in Las Vegas was awesome.

    Keep speaking out – not everyone will believe you, but at least you put it out there for those who want to listen. I personally think Palin and her daughters are not only homophobic, but also racist if you arent uber conservative, straight laced and white then you dont mesh with thier ideals. I would never vote for Palin and not because of her daughters, but definately because she is batsh*t crazy.

    Bristol tries to put herself in a better light than you in her blog, but her comments “people like you” should “embrace people like us and our values” to paraphrase – is just really a nasty comment sugar coated. If she wants a bitch fight I dont think she is well prepared. I say duke it out. She is no friend.

  29. “The lady doth protest too much, always trying to gt into the news. Tired of reading about the Palins .

  30. So many haters to this article. You Palin supporters are nuts and crazy defensive. If you say you don’t care, then why post a comment on a message board of someone whom you claim \not to care about?\. Time and time again you idiots retort with the same (lame) response of \liberals bitch about bullying but are bullies themselves!!\. Shut up. Your retarded and you fuck your cousin. Get with it; this is a BLOG written by a COMMEDIENNE who was on a TV SHOW. Are you following me, cousin fucker? TV SHOWS are works of FICTION. So if CHO had some inside scoop (and frankly, what boring gossip. I rather hear Bristol fucked the situation) than Id believe it, since YOU WERE NOT THERE. And who really cares if that idiot pig and biggest hypocrite in the world Sarah wanted her on the show? America may be dumb, but we are not THAT dumb; IF Palin attempted to run for president in 2012, it would only help my chances in getting Obama into a second term. Until then cousin fuckers…

  31. This is such a joke, do you really believe that Sarah Palin would base support for a 2012 campaign on a daughter who though sweet as she could be was shy, a little awkward and at the beginning couldn’t even dance!? I do not think so. Bristal surprised everyone, her self included at the progress that she made that could never have occurred if she didn’t even want to be there. Bristol was not a polished celebrity, she was a down to earth young girl who went on DWTS to spread her on wings and Im sure as a way to support herself and her son. Im sure you do not honestly believe the slander you wrote about her mother but ill give you this you are the whole package. A friend and enemy wrapped into one!

  32. Hi Margaret,

    I love you for you making my frirends and I laugh out loud on many occasions. I’ve seen you live here in Baltimore and have all of your albums. I played “I’m Sorry” from Cho Dependent for a friend while we were driving through D.C. and had to pull over from laughing so hard. (I even have The Cho Show mom-daughter pageant episode on my iPod)

    Your humor is intelligent, brave and most importantly FUCKING HILARIOUS. It was courageous of you to try something new like DWTS. Too bad you weren’t there for Annie Lennox to sing Little Bird with that strange dance routine!

    I applaud you for your honesty and respect in this blog.

    p.s. A note to Heather: Geez, HATE much? Where is Margaret bullying? She is mostly praising Bristol in her blog and defending her against many. Also, an artist and comic reacts to what they see around them, it’s what they do!
    In your response, you are super agressive in your name calling and hate speech. In my opinion, you should really focus your energy on something more positive.

  33. It’s clear from the articulate wording of Bristol’s Facebook response that it was not written by her. During her time on DWTS she was never eloquent and frequently used incorrect grammar. My guess on the authorship: Sarah’s publicist.

  34. Margaret – who knows, you could be on top of the real answer. Here’s my own question, if Mama – what’s her face didn’t force her to be on Dancing With The Stars (talking to the producers to put her on the show), then why/how did the “did nothing to be a star but be Palin’s kid ” get on the show??? She is so NOT a star of any sort, she has not accomplished anything in her life except being a pregnant at 16 and be the daughter of a loser governor who quit her job thus making her look foolish for not teaching her daughter to take the pill or keep her legs closed. What did Bristol do to earn a spot on the show????? She’s so not a moral model for teenagers. I see her as her Mom’s chump ticket – to keep mom in the spotlight somehow. Afterall Mom quit the Alaska Governorship gig, to hump the book circus, parade around as a big mouth for the GOP and daughter is a perfect example of Mom out for …. MOM!!!

  35. margaret, people are correct. this is a blog and not a newspaper. i do wish that you could name your source so that people would not be able to slam you. i do love you, but in retrospect, think that a little research when dealing with the big momma bear and her cub would have enabled you to not get yourself into this \i heard someone say\ bit!

  36. Sarah Palin and her family are a bunch of soft-minded, hillbilly rednecks. Palin wasn’t even capable of fulfilling her commitment to the constituents who voted her as governor. What does this say about the supporters who continue to follow her? They are even more pathetic than she is and they are the only people on the earth stupid enough to believe that Bristol Palin could have drafted her retort on her own. Her mother doesn’t even read a newspaper. Literacy is clearly not encouraged in that household. What does it say about any children she would “raise”? The fact that they are homophobic, fat, lazy and pregnant at 16 is a no freaking brainer. She is a crap mom, was a crap governor and has crap followers. As a Democrat, I thank God every morning for the shame the Palins continue to bring upon her party. They are the gift that keeps on giving every time they open up their fat mouths or pick up a pen they have no business handling.

  37. Margraret Cho is as funny as she is good looking and intellient. How a no talent like this ever make it in the media is a miracle.
    I think I’ll have a reality show of my dog Whitso eating his own waste.
    That would be better lookin, more intellience and much more funny than Margaret Cho.
    Let her have her 10 minutes of fame and then she can go back to her old him taking ticket for American Airlines

  38. Margaret – you’re fabulous! You’re getting slammed babe – I’m thinking you may as well come out with all of it (now, ’cause it’s looking like the palin(bots) are getting nervous!

  39. Bristol is NOW attacking YOU.

    See how this family operates: blame everyone else, quit, take no responsibility, and milk the far right at the expense of minorities all in good heterosexist WASP humor, of course.

    If only the Palins could see Russia outside their window.

    Maybe then the KGB could have spared us the misery of their painful 15 minutes by offing them by way of IMPROVED intelligent design: smart humans stopping stupid humans

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