Hollywood Party

I was at a drunken party some time ago, in deepest Hollywood – the center of which, unlikely as it seems – is filled with straight, upwardly aggressive young showbiz people. I was sitting and receiving but not enjoying bottle service (unlike me and fortunately free because I would never pay for that shit) and the extremely handsome but pompous young man, a vague work acquaintance, producer of this, creator of that, whatever of whatever – next to me asked, “How old are you?”

“41,” I replied without hesitation, judgment or shame. It’s just a fact.

He smiled and said, “I’d do you.”

And immediately I was disgusted. Like – just because you are some kind of hotshot young Hollywood mogul seated behind a velvet rope doesn’t mean I would want to do YOU. And why do you think I appreciate you telling me that you want me? After I have told you my age? And acting like you are some kind of magnanimous patron of the arts or like Gandhi or something because you think ‘doing’ me – a woman over 40 – is some kind of noble act.

Anyway, I didn’t let him ‘do’ me. I just turned away so my back was to him, which was really fun because he couldn’t believe I didn’t take him up on it, that I could leave his ‘generosity’ hanging in the air like that without response, that essentially I could turn him down. My ingratitude was too much for him and he got up and unhooked the velvet rope and my face burned inside with hot joy and anger and pride.

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10 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Everytime I go to Hong Kong this happens to me. Well it’s slightly different but I’m never short of wealthy poorly behaved men wanting to buy me a drink to try and bone me and grabbing my ass because I’m young – and therefor a hooker. (?!!) I like to stay well away from any velvet rope that isn’t a Janet Jackson recording.

  2. THANK YOU! JFC! Finally someone say’s what I have been wanting to say, like, forever! I look at it like a gift when that happens beause you can instantly see what a moron looks like without having to waste your precious time actually talking to him. Keep it up producer… videographer… whatever you are, your doing the over 40′s a favor and you don’t even know it.

  3. I have a date to do a 67 year old Korean/Japanese chick tonight. IMHO, she is really hot, even hotter than when I first met her in 1961.

    It just occurred to me, maybe your would-be suitor was checking to see if you were OLD enough, not young enough.

    Si

  4. Ok I don’t really have a comment because your post just says it all. I just wanted to point out that the captcha ( words I have to type to get my comment posted is as follows) “Admiralty.4 butolds”
    Yes that is right But olds. Who ever makes this “random” things is not random at all in my opinion. Some of them are quite snarky.

  5. Whenever I hear this I am automatically much less likely to end the night in their bed. Just, ugh. I’ve ‘done’ enough guys in my life to know that most of them are uncreative and selfish in bed, kiss like fish and paw you too heavily. I’m still a slut but I choose more carefully now (oh girl I had my “stick it in!” phase too), and in my experience any guy who says this is not going to offer enthusiasm and passion and sexy creativity. Without that it’s just boring, or worse, feels like work.

    Guys: telling someone you’d ‘do’ them is not a compliment! It does not make anyone feel flattered. If you want to compliment a woman, tell her she is pretty or beautiful or gorgeous. Or, better yet, get to know her well enough to work out what she needs to hear that day — it’s not hard, and we’re worth it, and it makes you a much more attractive sexual prospect. ;)

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