Abstinence

The Roman Catholic Church is talking about how condoms don’t block AIDS. I don’t know what to say about that. And taking the vow of celibacy doesn’t prevent pedophilia. What is wrong with them? If they oppose all forms of birth control, then when do we get to actually fuck? Or how do we get to fuck? Do they promote pulling out? Douching with a Coke right after? Only taking it up the ass? So now since the Vatican has issued the health warning about condoms, which they justify is just the same as they have about the hazards of smoking, there has been a major spike in HIV infection, with more than 42 million wrestling with the virus. Okay, condoms are not 100% protection, but 90% is better than nothing, or ‘abstinence,’ which nobody practices, never did, never will.

The Pope is one press release away from selling indulgences to buy space in heaven, like in the days of Martin Luther – not the King, the father of Lutheranism, Catholicism Lite. I am so angry, I don’t want to just rip up a picture of the pope. I want to rip him a new asshole, wearing a condom, and I don’t even have a dick, but this is the one time I wish I did. Fuck you John Paul whatever the fuck your fucking name is you fucking gold vestment tall ass hat wearing shit head. Why don’t you just fucking die already? Doesn’t God need a personal assistant? Fuck Fuck Fuck you. No seriously. Fuck you. You are not God’s representative. God would not do that to people. God loves unconditionally. All are welcome in the true House of God. We need Angry Jesus to storm the Vatican right now, kicking out the money changers and the temple prostitutes and the child molesters. I love me some Angry Ass Jesus. Make your own loaves and fishes muthafucka! Get out of my Father’s house!!! I want Jesus to evict your ass, throw all the millions of dollars worth of sacred art and gold and relics and Liberace style robes bought with the blood of the countless believers who give you everything and more so that they will be saved, and you do nothing but let them die, condemn them, judge them, molest them, kill them. I want the Vatican front lawn littered with the garage sale of the Judas Iscariot of the world, which would amount to much more than thirty pieces of silver, and to give the money to the people who are dying of AIDS because of you, the children who have had their innocence stolen by you, the innumerable crimes you have committed against the people in the name of God. We are made in the image of God, we are fucking GOD!!!! You don’t know Him. You just front like you are God are down and shit, but you don’t have His pager number. You don’t two-way message Him. If you did, you would care about the people that believe in you, you would treat them like you worship them, because we are all GOD!!!!! GOD is nice. God wants you to wear condoms. God wants you to have fun. God loves everyone. He doesn’t care what you do. He is going to love you no matter what. God also has many names, like Buddha, Vishnu, Allah, Mohammed, Jehovah, Beyonce, you. Don’t listen to the Vatican. They don’t know shit and should just have a fucking bake sale and shut the fuck up.

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