Tucker Carlson

You might be playa hatin’ Tucker Carlson, who is the bowtied, smug conservative on CNN, possibly better suited for Fox News, as he is a rare Generation X hipster pundit, which has not happened since the days of Kennedy, the bespeckled, smarty pants young Republican on MTV, but you cannot go and crank call him all night. On his show, Crossfire, TC was arguing on the behalf of telemarketers, and was asked to give out his own home telephone number. He didn’t blanch and gave out the number for Fox News Washington Bureau. After Fox was deluged with calls, the nutwork put Carlson’s unlisted home number on its website. Mr. Bowtie tried to be a gangsta, and ended up a wanksta, and paid a stiff penalty, which consisted of several hours of ‘Jerky Boys’ old-school prank phone calls. No disclosure was made of the exact content of these calls, but one can only imagine.

“Almost everyone your age thinks you are a dick.”

“Hillary Clinton’s book was a bestseller.”

“Do you have Prince Albert in can? You better let him out. He is for affirmative action, you know.”

That is fucked up that Fox would play the ‘phone home’ card, but then if you are going to defend telemarketers, and pretend to give out your own number, you have to have some accountability for that. You cannot say, “Ok, BEAAATCH!!! BRING IT!! 703 – 519 – 6000!!!!! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW!!!” – which is not really your number, but the FOX number, then they call you out like “OH YEAH? 703 – 519 – 6465. SAY IT TO MY FACE!!!” and be surprised that they did what you’d expect them to do.

I really hate telemarketers, but I know that they are human beings, who have this sucky job where they must call up people that they know are going to hate them. I try to be nice but get them off the phone as fast as I can and also kindly ask them to take me off any list that they might have which would help me avoid such calls in the future. I do not pretend to be a telemarketer activist, and I am very vocal in my need to remain undisturbed by them. It may sound weird, but I think the phone is kind of scary anyway, and I don’t like to answer it, but sometimes I just have to, and caller id lets me down more often than not.

I guess the lesson here is that if you really have integrity, and your opinion is truly your own, and you aren’t trying to front or pander, then you wouldn’t try to ditch the responsibility of answering for it later. If you are gonna wear a bowtie, you gotta have balls. On the other hand, we would expect the people that give us our news, information we are supposed to live by, to help us in how we see the world, to tell us the truth – would be above such ridiculous schoolyard behavior, but unfortunately they aren’t. So what about the issues that are really important, that are not about MCI’s Friends and Family and the Sunday paper for free? What joke is being played on us?

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