Ralph

ralphbluesmall

You were and have been and still are love of my life, even though you are to the rest of the world nothing but a dead dog. Isn’t that funny that my soul mate turned out to be an animal? It makes sense. I am just an animal too. Frankly, I think you got the […]

Swim

The hour that gives me the most difficulty is 2pm. I am good in the mornings. The sunrise is ever hopeful, the strange way you can tell light is new, the way it comes at you, shy through the trees. Yes I love mornings, because it’s another chance, you get another stab at it, whatever […]

Teeth

Listen, I am so scared of the dentist. I really am. I take insanely good care of my teeth, and they may not be the whitest, but they chew ok and don’t hurt ever and serve me well. The only time my teeth bother me is in my dreams, when they fall out and fill […]

Eating on Planes

There is a hunger felt on planes that feels irrational and uncontrollable. What is it about flying high in the sky in shiny metal tubes that makes my stomach growl like a beast? Does altitude affect blood sugar or is that I am so high off the ground I am trying to root myself by […]

Jesus H

That Jesus died for our sins is a weird story always to me, because why did he have to die? Why did anyone have to die? Where was God’s capacity to forgive? Why couldn’t god just bypass the payment of sins, or defer it, or make them free to begin with? That’s harsh to crucify […]

Chewbacca

chewbacca

I think about Chewbacca with a ferocity and intensity one would think that I actually had some kind of Wookie genealogy, because I think of him as family. I think of Wookies as myself and my own, as I am much hairier than anyone would know and I am actually fairly good at fixing things. […]

SinuPulse

Obviously this was written months ago and just posted now. Just so you know – I know it’s not Christmas! Today is a special day because its that weird week between Christmas and New Years, traditionally a slow time for everyone except maybe returns/exchange departments in stores, and every day this week is meant to […]

Crime

I have never been arrested, and that is really kind of a miracle, truly remarkable considering the amounts of bad I have done. Nothing in the way of harming anyone, as I have harmed myself most in my wrongdoing, but lets just say there are library books still checked out from the 70s, VHS tapes […]

Trucks

I learned to drive in a beater of a car, an old Buick Le Sabre, massive and almost impossible to park on the curb starved streets of San Francisco. because of that thing I can parallel park with the precision of a jeweler laying a flawless diamond into a six prong setting with one stroke […]

That Guy is Chinese

I went to a party once at a big celebrity’s home, thrown annually with another big celebrity, a sort of a fun joint birthday celebration, which was neither fun nor celebratory nor were there any joints in evidence. That might have made the thing worthwhile or at least slightly more relaxed. There is something very […]

Dog Visits

dog visit 4

There’s some dog guests today at the house, which makes my dog children crazy and wild with excitement. New dog butts to sniff, unfamiliar tails to chase and everyone’s precious little hackles go up, making all the hair on their backs look like they’ve gelled them into tiny Mohawks. The thing about dogs is that […]

Whitney Houston

I love this. It’s Whitney Houston’s first tv appearance. Whitney’s nervous, I think, but that doesn’t affect her performance in the least. She looks perfect, her nerves just adding to her innocence and vulnerability. I remember my first television appearance. It was MTV’s half hour comedy hour. The makeup artists had to mix a new […]