Blepharoplasty

Blepharoplasty…father, why does this word sound so nasty?

It’s the dreaded plastic surgery that turns Asian eyes into pseudo-caucasian eyes; that gives the patient an extra fold for eyeshadow, eyeliner, some kind of security that since their eyes are larger, their lives will somehow be better, that they would see more, that they would take in more.

What a heady promise and a terrific bargain – not even a pound, but a pinch of flesh, in exchange for all these riches! I think I might be so grateful that I would use my extra fold to advertise the services of my plastic surgeon. “Get this fold now!” on the left eye, “Ask me how!” on the right eye, because now that my eyes are so big, it would probably fit.

Yet wouldn’t I lose some of my exoticism? Some of my ‘mystery?’ The sexual stereotype for Asian women places great emphasis on our mystery. With eyes so wide, would I have no secrets left to withhold? Because I might be able to expose my entire iris and pupil, would I no longer qualify as the sexy ‘other?’ I embrace these stereotypes, demeaning as they are, because they help me get laid, and frankly that is all I care about.

When you can dive into a ready made identity, it takes a lot of the guesswork out of plain being. I use racial stereotypes like a screensaver to conserve my energy when my own personality overwhelms me and I feel like one of the ‘colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf.’ I feel sorry for people who don’t have a stereotype they can slip into like second skin. What a bother to have to be an original, 100% you all the time! How draining that must be! So I wouldn’t ever want to get rid of my single fold eyelid, because then I would have to also shed the expectations that come with an eye like that.

I like people assuming that I could order for the entire table of white friends in a Chinese restaurant. I cherish my job taking visitors on excursions to Koreatown, a region I know next to nothing about, yet everyone assumes I have some expertise in. I want people to think I may not speak English! Oh, the list is endless.