From Michael

> —– Original Message —–
> From: Michael
> To: margaret
> Sent: Tuesday, January 20, 2004 2:52 PM
> Subject: Credibility – hard to get and easy to
> loose!

> Margaret,

> I read your website to get your
> side of the political flapping.

Wasn’t it super flappy? It was like 1926. We were doing the Charleston drinking bathtub gin. I bobbed my hair and set the world on fire, but I realized that I am the “It Girl.”

> I also read the responses you
> received from opponents to
> your dialog. Politics seems to
> bring out the worst in people.

It does. I know that I have not pulled punches with the way that I beat the shit out of Dumya, I mean Dubya, but there seemed to be nothing in the defense of his term of ruin, nobody exactly pointing out my perceived wrongs, nothing political at all. What was brought up for debate was answered by people telling me that I was a fat, ugly, gook that should go back to my country but before I left, fuck some pigs. Also, my comments were taken out of context, which is very important when you are a comedian. I was not delivering a speech, but merely there to spit my rhymes and recognize.

> I disagree with most of your
> political opinions and some of
> your social positions. However,
> like most Americans regardless
> of race, sexual preference,
> religion, etc. I will be among the
> first to stand, fight and die if
> necessary to protect your right to
> voice your opinions.

That is like so great.

> Would you do the same for me?

Yes. But I must warn you, I have to be the clumsiest person that has ever even touched a firearm. Like, I am the worst shot. I wince when I pull the trigger. It is really lame. But I would try really hard, and probably end up getting shot, but you could use my body as a shield if you had to. I got your back, homie.

> I am a straight white boy from
> the south.

That duuurrrty duuurrrty South. I love the South. I love Atlanta, I love me some Savannah, I love that New Orleans, da South. I love it.

> As a part of this demographic
> I have discovered that it is
> difficult for me to get student
> loans, scholarships, jobs
> (companies get tax breaks if
> they hire anyone but a white male).

Really? I don’t know much about that. I mean, I am not saying that you are lying or anything, but how come all my bosses have always been white men? Why are all the rich dudes that I know white dudes? Why is my experience with white men so different from your experience of being a white man? Do people go up to you and ask why your eyes are so big? Is it impossible for you to get a cab in the city? When you are in line with other white folks that you do not know, does the person behind the counter just assume you are all together?

> I pay more taxes than I would
> if I were black, Asian, female, etc.

I don’t know, I think I pay more taxes than you, and I am black, Asian, female, etc. Especially etc. I am the OG of etc. I fucking pay a muthafuckin’ shitload a taxes and shit. I am talking ’bout QUARTERLY!!!!

> The point I am making here is
> that nothing is fair.

Yes, and no. I agree, but then again, I don’t. But that ain’t fair.

> When we try to legislate fairness
> it is actually reverse discrimination.

Yeah, but then again, fairness is relative too, isn’t it? Fair to you isn’t fair to me, but then fair to me ain’t fair to you, so we maybe need to have some give and take. I wouldn’t say it is reverse discrimination, because that is too simple. It is a hard thing to contemplate. However, equality is equality. Love is love. God is God. These are absolutes.

> I can go on and on, but
> I’m sure that you get the
> point. We must learn from
> the mistakes of our forefather’s
> and mother’s.

We haven’t learned much, really, if you walked through life alongside me, maybe you’d see how things aren’t so fanfuckingtastic and shit.

> I enjoy giving to charities and
> helping others less fortunate
> than I.

That is a good thing. People are reticent and refuse to be generous, which is miserly, miserable. I agree that it is joyful to give, and by giving, you are given in return many times over.

> I do resent when my earnings
> are stripped from me and
> distributed to those that had
> the same ability or more than
> I to achieve wealth, happiness,
> etc but chose not too.
But you would rather have them used to make poor kids go to Iraq to kill and destroy a land that has nothing to do with ours except for the corporate money that wouldn’t be pocketed by the citizens of the nation, but those who organized the fiasco?

> I resent being taxed so much
> that it is difficult for me to
> afford to have a family and
> children because my earnings
> are stripped to pay for the
> illegitimate children of
> irresponsible people.

But they aren’t. The taxes you pay are not going to the irresponsible or the illegitimate. They go to a complex array of laundering schemes, simulated searches for weapons of mass destruction, undisclosed locations for Cheney to kick it in style. The myth of you reaching in your purse and paying for the welfare/ghetto/thug/underage momma population who will not pull their own weight is a sad story that you bought with your own poverty of knowledge. I ain’t saying you ignant, but you didn’t live where I done did.

> I resent that I can marry
> and have kids and if my
> wife meets another man
> that she likes better I loose
> my house, more than half
> of what we have acquired
> and my children. I would
> be saddled with alimony,
> child support, limited visitation
> rights. If my ex-wife sits at
> home all day and gets strung
> out on drugs and her live-in
> boyfriend beats and abuses
> my children there is very little
> I can do to protect and shelter them.

I resent the fact that if I fall in love with a woman, I wouldn’t be able to make her my wife. It would be against the law. I would not be able to have children with her because the government would not allow us to adopt them, or maybe we would have to give our children to Social Services because since we are the same sex, we are unfit for parenting. I resent the fact that if I die, she would not be able to collect life insurance and have to go on without me, without income, without the societal sympathy and support given to the widowed, or if she left me for someone she liked better, as you illustrated in your worst case scenario above without the child support, if we were allowed to keep and have the kids in the first place. I feel your pain playa.

> There are many reasons that
> things are the way that they
> are and liberal policies hold
> much of the blame for the
> unfairness.

No, the liberals are not responsible. Sorry. It is the conservatives. That is just what it is. I ain’t tryin’ to diss you. You just wrong, and I be tryin’ to right you.

> You and your family came
> here for a reason.

I have no idea why they came here. I was born here. I left them as soon as I could, as soon as I could run faster than them. I didn’t come here. I am from here.

> Did it have anything to do
> with the opportunities that
> America has to offer?

What the fuck do I know? I told you already. I was already here. I am an AMERICAN.

> Were these opportunities not
> present in your home country
> or any other country than America?

My home country is America, so I am not sure what you be on about and shit.

> Probably not! There are many
> places in the world where you
> and I could not converse in this
> manner without the persecution.
> I am not aware of anyone in this
> country that is perfect.

Of course, but then again, we are attacked if we hold the ‘wrong’ opinion, the voice that those in power would rather not be heard. And by the way, now you are aware. I am perfect. Just FYI. I don’t want you to live your life without knowing there was no perfection out there.

> I never heard of you when
> Clinton bombed Kosovo to
> deter attention away from
> the Monica situation or the
> Whitewater Investigation,
> Presidential contempt of court.
> I never heard you speak out
> in support of the Clinton rape
> victims.

That is because I wasn’t being listened to. Nobody paid attention then. I was a kid, sorry. I would have been an abolitionist if I could have been, but I wasn’t born yet. I would have been a suffragette, but then I would be hell of old and shit now or probably dead.

> It seems that you want to
> expose the truth and make
> a positive difference then do
> so uniformly and an army of
> supporters will grow around you.

Yes and no. I want to make people laugh. I want to spit rhymes on the mic. I want to make some people feel like they have a voice, that they could count on mine to speak up for them, that I am brave and a gangsta, that I love hip hop and Elliott Smith. I want to remember all the family, not from my homeland mind you, my chosen family, who are dead because of bigotry, ignorance, intolerance and make sure that they are not forgotten and did not die in vain.

> Otherwise you will be discredited
> as “biased”, “bigoted”, etc.

I cannot be discredited because no one has done given me the credit card in the first place.

> If I promise to vote as a
> democrat will I be allow to
> rape, pillage and plunder
> without recourse?

No, but if you vote republican you will. if that is what you want.

> Will the personal liberties
> of others be stripped to
> allow me special privileges?

No, not if you vote for Bush. You will be all good then.

> The ACLU rose to the defense
> of Rush Limbaugh.

Because Rush was so high he needed protection. He was the Rick James of political pundits. That fool did some SERIOUS drugs. I bet Keith Richards is eating his barely beating heart out.

> I predicted that it would never
> happen and I am happy to say
> that my prediction was wrong.
> I still disagree with many of the
> ACLU’s actions. However, I now
> hold more respect for them than
> I did before. I would love to hear
> you attack others in world whom
> restrict an individuals personal
> rights and freedoms.

Okay. I can get with that.

> Are you fighting for the liberation
> of persecuted individuals in your
> homeland or any other country?

My homeland is tha UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
MUTHAFUCKA!!!!!!!!

> I can think of several countries
> that could use an activist to
> speak out against government
> and social policies that restrict
> and inhibit person freedoms?

Yeah, but I am here though, so I don’t got to go nowhere.

> You may be kidnapped and
> tortured to death for speaking
> out. But think of what you could
> accomplish. Remember, No
> Guts!, No Glory!

But I don’t have NO Frequent Flyer Miles! Plus, I got my hands full here. Look at how much I got to write your ass.

> Or would you only prefer to see
> all non – liberals, non-democratic
> party members rounded up and
> executed?

No. I would like to see them educated, on their own terms, with whatever they might need, an overhead projector, flashcards, crayons, markers that smell like fruit, rubber cement, #2 pencils – all that. I would give them all the finger paint and avocado seeds that they could sprout on the windowsill so they could learn something about the way things grow, then maybe bumping them up a grade, and then s-l-o-w-l-y having the idea introduced that maybe it would be possible we could actually allow for the separation of church and state, to live in the country that this is supposed to be, you know, that land of the free, home of the brave – all that shit.

> These are my opinions, I
> don’t necessarily expect
> you to defend them.

No, but you are cool. We boys. It’s aiiigghht. You just don’t know a lot of shit. I understand. You are trying. You go girl. I am not gonna playa hate. I congratulate.

> But when I fall, there will
> be one less person to defend
> your right to voice your opinions.
> Don’t allow yourself to be used
> now and abandoned later.
> Sincerely, Michael

Oh no, I have been a ho, and I do not wish to make my ho mistakes once again. I ask for my money up front. Why you thinking about falling? Do you want to jump?

Best,
Margaret Cho