12 Days of Rage: Day 2

For the 12 days leading up to the release of my new song and video, (I Want To) Kill My Rapist, I will be posting one video per day to tell my stories of sexual abuse. My “12 Days of Rage”. Please join me. Tell your story using #‎12daysofrage on Twitter or Facebook. “(I Want […]

Babie Scare Me More Than Anything

from Salon.com Excerpted from “No Kidding: Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood” edited by Henriette Mantel. Available from Seal Press, a member of the Perseus Books Group. Copyright 2013. I don’t have children, and I am not sure if I have wanted them or never wanted them. It’s weird not to be able to decide. Kids are great, and […]

Bully

I don’t think that we can talk about bullying enough, I mean, I know I complain still, and this is stuff that happened easily over thirty years ago, but I think it’s hurting me, and continues to. It’s not one of those things that therapy and stuff like that can fix. I am just going […]

Adopted

Lots of my Hollywood showbiz friends have adopted children and the majority of them are beautiful little girls from China who look so much like me I could have fathered them all if such were possible. It makes me glad that these kids have found loving homes and really pretty swank ones to boot. I […]

Teeth 2

If something got stuck in my teeth I think that I could be driven insane by it. I am not sure if I have gotten over the trauma of the orthodontist, and the bizarre tiny tortures my mouth endured for my formative years. when preparing my haphazardly engineered teeth for braces, the orthodontist’s assistant would […]

Swim

The hour that gives me the most difficulty is 2pm. I am good in the mornings. The sunrise is ever hopeful, the strange way you can tell light is new, the way it comes at you, shy through the trees. Yes I love mornings, because it’s another chance, you get another stab at it, whatever […]

Crime

I have never been arrested, and that is really kind of a miracle, truly remarkable considering the amounts of bad I have done. Nothing in the way of harming anyone, as I have harmed myself most in my wrongdoing, but lets just say there are library books still checked out from the 70s, VHS tapes […]

Trucks

I learned to drive in a beater of a car, an old Buick Le Sabre, massive and almost impossible to park on the curb starved streets of San Francisco. because of that thing I can parallel park with the precision of a jeweler laying a flawless diamond into a six prong setting with one stroke […]

It Gets Better

I was bullied pretty badly when I was a kid, the worst period falling between the ages of 10 and 14, I think. People tell me to get over it, and that I am an adult now, privileged and famous and constantly applauded not only in my primary field, stand-up comedy, but also in practically […]

SOA

SOA

I absolutely love the “Sons of Anarchy”! I received the first three seasons on DVD for my birthday and so I swallow 3-4 episodes at a time as I cannot stop once I start. It’s thrilling and my lower back aches from all the backstabbing and I am fascinated by the tight plot twists and […]

Crab Season

Before reality television, I was aware of Dungeness crab season. The catches then didn’t seem so deadly (although I am sure they were – they just didn’t have cameras to document it) unless you accidently caught your finger in a set of snapping claws, but this thankfully never happened. When it would get really cold […]

Being Mad on Twitter

twitter screen shot

I have some wonderful new tattoos on my ass by the incredible Cris Cleen, who I love, and I posted a picture of them on twitter, which got many favorable comments but there were two negative ones, and I blew a fucking gasket. I screamed out loud and tracked the perps down and blocked them, […]