Thank you. Give it up for Moby & Vernon Reid! Awesome! Thank you. I want to thank Moveon for having me come here. God, it's such an amazing thing, these people got to make ads and we got to actually have freedom of speech, our own voices out there. I'm so proud. Thank you for being here and allowing me to be here, despite all of the stupid bullshit that the Repugnant National Committee, or whatever the fuck they're called are saying. They're all angry about how two of these ads were comparing Bush to Hitler. Out of thousands of submissions they find two; they're like fucking looking for Hitler in a haystack. I mean, George Bush is not Hitler. He would be if he fucking applied himself. (laughter & applause) But he just isn't. And where was fucking Grover Norquist when*…where was the Repugnant National Committee when Arnold Schwarzenegger was running for office, and all these quotes came out where he said that Hitler overcame a lot of obstacles to get to where he is or where he was? I mean, you can't give a shout out to Hitler, you just can't. (laughter) He just cannot be your homie, no matter who you are he's not your fucking dawg. He just isn't. And he did nothing for anybody. Hitler was even a shitty artist. Thomas Kincaid could kick his ass. (laughter).

I think that this past year has really proven how stupid Republicans are. [Note: Margaret doesn't really think all Republicans are stupid. She's a comedian. This is hyperbole.] Judge Roy Moore insisting that the Ten Commandments Statue stay in the lobby of a courthouse: "You can't move the Word of God! You cannot move the Franklin Mint Edition of the Word of God." I think it could have been solved so much easier if they had just placed a golden calf next to the statue and then people would have started worshipping that. And then they could have moved the Ten Commandments to Bush's office. Or maybe he needs a new version of the Ten Commandments: Thou shalt not steal votes.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's country. Thou shalt not kill for oil. Thou shalt not take grammar in vain.

I mean whatever fucking happened to separation of church and state? You can't impose your God on my God. God has many names. God is God, God is Jehovah, God is Allah, God is Buddha, God is Beyonce...

They keep using the argument [against gay marriage] that marriage is sacred. No it's not! Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman got married. Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson got married. Britney Spears and some guy that nobody knows got married.

I used to really hate Rush Limbaugh because he represented that whole party, that whole way of thinking, because he was so sexist and racist and homophobic and awful. And then I realized, 'Ohhh! He was high! Oh!' He was fucking high as fuck! Shit!! Dawg! He was like one refill away from selling his ass, you know? Because he was doing some druuugs! I'm serious. I really wanted him to come out of rehab and come to his senses and be totally liberal. He would have a really itty bitty ponytail right in the back of his head a really small, little ponytail, just tiny ponytail in the back of his head, real tight little ponytail, and a big tie-dyed T-shirt with a fucking whale on it. He'd be super hugging people and shit and he would go into business with Ben & Jerry and they would name a flavor after him called 'Recalcitrant Rush,' which would be French Vanilla with pieces of oxycontin and swirl of hydrocodone. Delicious.

And because of the Patriot Act, Tommy Chong is behind bars. Tommy Chong. Who fucking didn't know Tommy Chong smoked pot? Who didn't know he was into weed? Cheech and Chong made a film a quarter of a century ago called "Up in Smoke," which is a movie about weed. It's about smoking weed. It's about, when your dog eats your weed and you have to have your dog shit and you have to roll your dog's shit up like a joint and smoke that, and it's about using weed to drive your car and fueling your whole life with weed and who didn't know? He's behind bars for that."

I am a patriot, you know. People never think that I am, but I am. I am an American and people never assume that because I come from an immigrant background, but that's all of America I am an American. I love it when people say, "I just can't tell any of you people apart!" Why do you have to tell us apart? Are we going to be separated for some reason? I mean, I can't fucking tell us apart. I don't have a chip embedded in my neck that automatically identifies every Asiatic person that I know:[imitating a robot with radar] "beepbeepbeepbeepbeep Filipino!"

I don't think about race that much. I forget that I'm Asian. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my eyes are in my head. (laughter) But when I'm reminded that I'm 'different' it shocks me. I was on a plane and the steward was coming down the aisle, serving lunch to everyone, and he's coming down the aisle: "Asian Chicken Salad…Asian Chicken Salad…Asian Chicken Salad…" and he gets to me and he's like, "…Chicken Salad?" What does he think I'm gonna do?..... "This is not…the salad of my people!" "In my homeland…they use mandarin orange slices …and crispy wonton crunchies! That, my friend, is an Asian Chicken Salad!"

I'm considered a highly inappropriate person. (applause) And it makes me a problem dinner guest because at some point during the evening the person seated next to me says, "Okay, (laughter) uh huh okay, too much information. Yeah, don't go there." I live there. (laughter) I bought a house there. I will take you there. (laughter) Because to live as a minority in this country feels like dying of a thousand paper cuts and I ain't going out like that, so I always have to tell the story. Like I was driving in my car and I saw this woman in front of me and she had a bumper sticker that said, "This car was built with tools, not chopsticks," and it was in this super chinky font that was really like "hi yah!" like that kind of feng shui hong kong fooey font that's really like "aaaieeeaaaiieeaiaai." You know, that kind of font? (laughter) And I exploded with anger, like I just turned into the Asian Incredible Hulk. I got gigantic and yellow like, "boom boom boom Aaaagh!" And I rolled up next to her and I had nothing prepared. (laughter) So I just started to scream like, "Aaaagh Aaaaagh Aaaaagh!" I just kept doing it and I kept doing it and I forced her to make a left turn against the red light (laughter). And I felt really good about myself, because I don't want to be the better person. (laughter) I don't want to rise above it. I don't want to turn the other cheek. I will show you what cheek I'm gonna turn, okay?

What I've realized is that racism and homophobia are the exact same thing. In that, when somebody says something to me about my race I get really hurt because that's who I am. When you're attacked because of your sexuality, you feel it because that's you, you know? Fucking "Don't Ask Don't Tell. Don't Ask Don't Tell:" How dare they? How dare they ask you to die for your country and not allow you to be who you are? (applause) As if you could win a war without lesbians. (laughter and applause). "Who gonna read the map?" (laughter)

I'm so lucky to have grown up in a magnificent age of activism and my favorite activist group started in the eighties. They're called Act Up, and they have a great slogan: "Silence Equals Death," which means if we don't talk about AIDS, we will die of AIDS, and I adopt my slogan from theirs: "Silence Equals Nonexistence." If I don't consistently give too much information, if I don't always "go there," it was as if I was never there in the first place. (applause) And I noticed this most of all right after 9-11, when all of the news channels were talking about what was happening and you never saw lesbians and gays invited to come on the channels to speak their opinion. You never saw feminists coming on to speak their opinion about what was going on. You very rarely saw people of color invited, and if they were they were usually Muslim Americans and Arab Americans talking about the violence that they had experienced just because they share the same skin color as the terrorists, which is heinous and dumb. That's like arresting Emmanuel Lewis because Gary Coleman punched that woman. (laughter)

I mean, I'm afraid of terrorism, but I'm more afraid of the Patriot Act. (applause) I'm afraid that my reproductive rights might be taken away from me. I'm afraid that people are getting arrested by the FBI and the INS for having the wrong last name. I am afraid. I am afraid that gay people won't get to be married. I'm afraid. And I'm afraid that somewhere out there somebody just got called a faggot or a dyke or a homo or a pansy or a nigger or a chink or a wetback or an injun or a cracker or a bitch or a whore or a cunt, and unless to you that's a term of endearment, because for me sometimes it is, (laughter) that person is suffering just because of who they are and that is not the kind of America I want to live in. So if we all actively just go there, if we all consistently give too much information, (applause) imagine what power that would be. What an amazing collective voice that would be, which is an example of tonight: the collective voices of so many Americans. Imagine that strength, that power, how loud we would be. That would truly be a Revolution. (applause) Thank you so much everybody. Thanks for being here. Goodnight. (applause)