BARING
THE DARKEST MOMENTS OF YOUR LIFE on stage can be pretty cathartic,
but it’s not without its share of discomfort. Just ask Margaret Cho. Last
year, the feisty comedienne took her brutally funny one-woman show, I’m
the One That I Want, on a 40-city tour, reliving the highs and lows
of her show-biz career, including the painful failure of her ABC sitcom
All-American
Girl and her subsequent plunge into substance abuse and depression.
At one point in the show, Cho hilariously recounts the tale of a slimy
Hollywood producer who tried to coerce her into having sex with him; imagine
her surprise when she looked into the audience during one of her performances
and spotted the producer sitting in the front row.
“I could feel the heat of his hatred, and to be honest, I was so afraid of him,” Cho recalls. “But nobody could tell. I grew up in stand-up comedy; I’ve had bottles thrown at me and worked in the most hideous conditions. It’s made me a pretty resilient performer.”
That’s an understatement—and
not just because of her outward cool during such an unnerving encounter.
The fact of the matter is that Cho rose from the ashes of her failed sitcom
and turned tribulation into triumph. I’m the One That I Want was
one of last year’s most critically lauded stage performances, and was so
successful, in fact, that it’s been turned into a feature film debuting
in selected cities this weekend.
“Self-love
comes from within,” says Cho. “It’s not about looking to our achievements
or to the way our bodies look or to anyone else for our worth; that’s a
very important message for women, for people of color and especially for
gays and lesbians, for people who don’t feel represented in our dominant
culture.”
What prompted Cho to turn I’m the One That I Want into a film? “It’s my favorite work that I’ve done, so I wanted to capture it as a historical document,” she says. “And also, the show has a lot of important messages I wanted to get out. I traveled to 40 cities, but I couldn’t go any farther. Making the movie allows me to reach more people.”
Not to suggest that I’m the One That I Want is some kind of heavy-handed “message movie.” Quite the opposite, it’s a side-splitting laugh riot that will have you gasping for air between punch lines. Nonetheless, the show undoubtedly contains a subtle reminder of the importance of self-reliance. “Self-love comes from within,” says Cho. “It’s not about looking to our achievements or to the way our bodies look or to anyone else for our worth; that’s a very important message for women, for people of color and especially for gays and lesbians, for people who don’t feel represented in our dominant culture.”
Still, admits Cho, that’s not necessarily an easy lesson to incorporate into one’s daily life. “Our culture works directly opposite that message. Achievement is based entirely on things that come from outside: falling in love, having the right body, the right clothes, the right job. When you’re constantly bombarded with those ideas, it’s hard to hear the truth.”
Cho says performing such a deeply personal show over the course of a lengthy tour changed her in a very positive way, even if her blunt material—covering everything from body image to racism to a heavy dose of tales from the life of a fag hag—comes as a shock to some. “People don’t expect the truth,” she says. “It’s very powerful stuff.”
To that end, while Cho’s main goal is to reach the funny bone, she concedes that good comedy can go deeper than mere laughs. “Gays and lesbians are really coming into their own political power, but our self-esteem colors every action we make in this world, so in that respect, my show is very political,” she says. “I’ve met a variety of people who have told me their lives had been touched in some way by this show. That, to me, is the most profound thing.”
With her film wrapped and ready for release, Cho is now working on a new stage show, as well as a book, due in spring 2001 from Ballantine, titled—what else?—I’m the One That I Want. We caught up with her via phone from her Los Angeles home to get her answers to some not-so-serious questions.
Is it true you plan to promote your movie with an appearance on a Barbara Walters special, where her questions will inevitably bring you to tears? Oh yes. I’m gonna cry so much. I want to hyperventilate and cry. I want to cry so hard that I hiccup. Not the single, perfect Celine Dion tear—I want to be all-out bawling, with snot running out of my nose, and hiccuping. It’d be a cathartic experience.
What do you think Barbara would do? She’d hold me.
Which do you prefer: MTV or VH1? I love VH1’s programming. That’s all I watch: Behind the Music, Pop-Up Video, Where Are They Now? and Movies That Rock.
Do you find you
watch the same Behind the Music specials over and over?
Absolutely. I’ve seen the Fleetwood Mac Behind the Music so many
times. And Motley Crue too. I saw the one for the Go-Go’s recently and
I was full-on crying. People forget about them; for some reason, they’re
not included in the ‘80s nostalgia, but I love them.
“Mel Gibson has all those
kids and he’s Australian but he doesn’t have any accent. Some things don’t
add up; it makes me think that maybe he’s an alien.”
Which is your favorite Behind the Music? I like the one with Boy George. There’s one clip where he’s really fucked up on heroin, and he has this face mask on and he’s falling all over. They’re at this photo shoot and he’s wearing an avocado mask and he’s incoherent and passing out all over Sting, and Sting is not having it. It’s like watching an episode of Absolutely Fabulous.
I’m not surprised you picked VH1 over MTV. I remember seeing you do a Spring Break special for MTV a few years back and your humor seemed to be going way over the heads of the people in the audience. I remember that. I was really mystified. That was a crazy weekend. I was so drunk the whole time because I felt so much older than all those kids.
Okay, let’s give you some more choices: Keanu Reeves singer or Keanu Reeves actor? Oh! Keanu Reeves singer. Every day driving home, I see a big poster of his band Dogstar outside this rock club Coconut Teaser. He’s so cute as a musician.
George Clooney or Mel Gibson? George Clooney, because I kind of think Mel Gibson doesn’t like gay people. I’m not sure, but Mel Gibson has all those kids and he’s Australian but he doesn’t have any accent. Some things don’t add up; it makes me think that maybe he’s an alien.
Survivor or Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I’ve never watched either. Though someone told me I was an answer on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Really? Were you a correct answer or just a multiple-choice option? I think I was one of the multiple choices.
Let’s get your thoughts on some people in the headlines today—we’ll start with Britney Spears. Oops!... I did it again! I like her better than Christina [Aguilera] or Mandy [Moore] or all the boy bands too because she’s genuine, she’s real. Christina seems too beyond her years, preternaturally wise; she’s too much of an old soul. Mandy is just too new. But Britney is fabulous, really. She has an incredible personality, she’s a great dancer, I love her music, and she has an unnameable quality. She’s a star. Christina’s beautiful, but Britney pulls at my heartstrings. I always buy her stuff.
What’s your opinion on Republican presidential nominee George W. Bush? I saw him once in Houston, lounging by the hotel swimming pool. He was wearing executive tasseled shoes, like Cole Hahn shoes, and a suit—by the pool!
And
Al Gore? I met him, and he’s all right. I think he’s a good presidential
candidate.
While we’re on the subject of politics, what do you think of Monica Lewinsky? I saw her at the PETA awards and I wanted to take a picture with her so badly. Of all the huge stars there, she was the most sought-after, she created the biggest stir. But she wasn’t taking pictures with people, and I decided to be dignified and not ask her. Still, she causes a hush when she walks in a room.
How about Eminem? Ugh!
Can you elaborate? No, just ugh.
Okay, last question. If you were making a Lifetime “woman in peril” movie, what would it be called and what would your crisis be? Well, I’d want something where I could wear a straitjacket and cut my own bangs. That’s what crazy women in those movies always do, they cut their own bangs and it looks so crazy. And that’d be the name of the movie: And She Won’t Stop Cutting Her Own Hair... •