| FANS OF MARGARET CHO
MAY BE SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE RANDY CHICK COMEDIAN WHOSE NEW ONE-WOMAN
STAGE ACT HAS BEEN CALLED “NC-17-GOING-ON-DEBAUCHED” IS ACTUALLY RELIGIOUS.
WELL, SHE HAS RELIGIOUS ROOTS, ANYWAY. CHO’S GRANDFATHER WAS A METHODIST
MINISTER WHO RAN AN ORPHANAGE IN SEOUL DURING THE KOREAN WAR. CHO HERSELF
TAUGHT SUNDAY SCHOOL FOR TWO YEARS; SHE WAS FIRED FOR SENTENCING KIDS TO
HELL. BEFORE THAT, SHE DUBBED HERSELF THE “YIDDISH NAOMI” AND PRAYED FOR
DISCOVERY OF HER JEWISH HERITAGE. IT NEVER HAPPENED.
Cho’s character was fostered by more than religion. Cho’s mother resisted an arranged marriage to wed the man she loved: a Korean humorist author. They had Margaret (nee Moran) in 1968, soon leaving her with strangers to spend her first seven years in Korea. When they returned, they opened a bookstore in San Francisco. Little Margaret grew up in a neighborhood of ex-druggies, aging hippies, queers, and Chinese families. She loved bacon and peanut butter sandwiches and fell in love with drag queens. The smell of “balls in pantyhose,” she says, takes her back to her childhood. Cho’s first performance was at a comedy club above her parents’ bookstore. She later won a comedy contest that had her opening for Jerry Seinfeld. She moved to Los Angeles in the early 1990s and shacked up with a motley crew of hip, young performers. Cho then took her act to college campuses, was dubbed Campus Comedian of the Year, and quickly became the most booked act on the circuit. Not bad for a girl who dropped out of high school at 15. Later, Arsenio Hall introduced her to late-night audiences, Bob Hope put her on a prime-time special, and even bigger names came calling. She shared stages with Jay Leno, David Letterman, Rosie O’Donnell, and Regis and Kathie Lee. She enlightened Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect and scandalized The Crier Report. And while she’s been a guest star on some of the coolest animated programs, including Dr. Katz, The Critic, and Duckman, Cho’s hippest TV-moment came last season when Homer Simpson admitted he was “no Margaret Cho.” One thing is for certain – Cho’s best screen moments were not captured in her 1994 ABC television series, All American Girl. After Cho was called “too fat” by the show’s brass, she crash-dieted off 30 pounds in two weeks and ended up in the hospital with kidney failure. Not surprisingly, Cho found it hard to hang on to her identity – not to mention her dignity – at ABC. After her show was yanked (and replaced by the not-so-svelte Drew Carey), Cho spiraled into drug and alcohol addiction. Now the picture of health (no drink, drugs, meat, or dairy), Cho is back in top form with a sold-out, one-woman show, I’m the One That I Want, that has wowed New York audiences and will hit stages in Seattle, Houston, Austin, San Francisco, Chicago, and Washington, D.C., this fall. She may no longer do routines about Kermit the frog getting fisted, but she’s even more candid about her own sexuality nowadays: “Am I gay? Am I straight? I’m just slutty – where’s my parade?” Now the anti-geisha
talks to Girlfriends about Olivia Cruises, friend Janeane Garofalo,
and sexy Bea Arthur.
Girlfriends: Your show is getting rave reviews from critics and fans, especially gay fans. Have you been surprised by the response? Cho: I haven’t been thinking about the response too much. I can’t pay too much attention, because I let it get to my head. I’m like a nine-year-old when it comes to stuff like that, so I have to be careful. But it’s great. I love that people love it. Girlfriends: When John Leguizamo did his autobiographical show Freak, he said he finally exorcised his demons. Do you feel the same way? Cho: Certainly. I feel a real sense of catharsis. The show illustrates a very painful time in my life, and it’s a way to show how I cope with pain, using my sense of humor to help ease the burden of what was happening at the time. Girlfriends: Do you agree that the best comedy comes from pain? Cho: A lot of the best comedy comes from a painful situation that makes that comedic sense kick into gear, because you just need it. I’ve always relied on my sense of humor to get me through difficult times, and in a sense the proportion of pain is the same as how funny it is. Girlfriends: I love that you’ve been so brash in the past. Does it make you uncomfortable for people to know that you have the biggest pubic mound in the world or that you dislike penetration? Cho: [laughing] You know, when you’re truthful, people don’t question you any further. I can’t be honest about emotional truth. That’s where I lack intimacy. But sometimes when you’re being so honest people don’t really question whether you’re being honest [about everything]. Sometimes I’ll say things out of the sake of outrageousness, and they’re not necessarily true, yet I enjoy saying them to shock people and make them be honest. But being honest can be a front, which is probably the most honest thing I can say. Girlfriends: So it’s one thing to sit on stage and say, “I like dicks, all dicks,” and another to say, “I have a problem with monogamy.” Cho: [laughter] Yeah. Actually, I find that when I’m sexually active I have an incredible difficulty talking about sex on stage. I refrain from doing so out of respect for the other person, because I realize my truth includes somebody else’s truth and I can’t betray theirs. Of course when the relationship is over, all bets are off. Girlfriends: So when you’re on stage and you’re talking a lot about sex, we can conclude you aren’t getting a lot of it in real life? Cho: Exactly. Girlfriends: In your recent show you ask yourself, “Am I gay? Am I straight?” and conclude you’re just slutty. I’ve certainly used slutty as a euphemism for bisexual – is that what you’re doing? Cho: I’m really, I just, I don’t know. [Laughing] I think bi is not enough. It’s too much of a box for me. I’m more than bi. Girlfriends: More than bi? You’re pansexual? Cho: I’m ... I don’t know. Girlfriends: You’re disappointing thousands of lesbian fans who’ve been waiting years for you to come out. Cho: They’ll like me more if they have to wait. Girlfriends: What was it like performing on Olivia’s all-lesbian cruises? Cho: Wonderful! That was one of the first gigs I had on the road. It’s amazing to enter an all-women space, because you forget how male-dominated the world is. There were men on the ship, serving us and on the crew, but everywhere you would look there would be women. I had a lot of hope for my life, too. I was so young then, 20 years old and hanging out with women who had been a couple for more than 30 years. Girlfriends: Tell me why lesbians adore whale watching. Cho: They love nature. [Laughter] They love the sea and any kind of fish and sea mammal. It’s a huge phenomenon in Provincetown. Oh, God, all the lesbians going out early in the morning whale watching is a total scene. Girlfriends: You’ve been able to experience this phenomenon? Cho: You put on your parka and you go. My theory is that [the attraction is] the blowhole. But I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean. Girlfriends: You said you’re here until the next Korean-American fag hag, shit-starting girl comic comes up and takes your place. Are there younger female comics in the wings? Cho: I’m so out of touch with that area of comedy. I still perform at smaller venues and work out material in unlikely places. But where I go all the comedians are men. And they’re all bitter and mad at me. I haven’t seen much of a change in the last 15 years. It seemed to me like there were more women before. Girlfriends: I’ve noticed that women comedians, even those with hit shows like Roseanne, Brett Butler, and Ellen, have faced a tough time on TV. Do you think that TV is still hostile towards women? Cho: Certainly. When you’re not a Baywatch babe or one of the Friends. When you’re not there to be adored by the male then you’re in a precarious position. Television is not prepared to deal with women with personalities, strength, a sense of humor, a point of view. But we have an easy time accepting imperfect men. Girlfriends: It seemed like with your show All American Girl, the network hoped you’d be the Asian Bill Cosby. Cho: Yes, but they didn’t trust me to be that. They wanted to turn me into the Asian babe. I had what they saw as potential to be molded: I was young and impressionable enough and societally attractive enough that they wanted to cash in. It just didn’t work because I had all my capacities [focused on] trying to lose weight and being at the right Hollywood party at the right time, and I didn’t have time to write or look at being funny or to do anything I was doing before. And those rights were taken away from me. I had no control over the writing or anything that was going in the show. Girlfriends: What was it like when they brought a consultant on the show to tell you how to be Korean? Cho: It made sense, because they were condescending in every way. I don’t think I understood the depths of what it meant at the time. They had people help me do everything. I had a trainer. I had a nutritionist. I had an acting coach. It was like, you can’t do anything so we have to do everything for you. Girlfriends: What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? Cho: I was in a hot air balloon accident. I thought I would die, and I thought, “This is so stupid because I don’t even like this. It’s not even fun. It’s not like I’m some sort of hot air balloon enthusiast.” Girlfriends: Who has been your most surprising fan? Cho: Harvey Keitel. Girlfriends: Really? Cho: Yeah, isn’t that weird? He came to see my show and he came back stage and he was so loving. It was amazing to see him. Girlfriends: You’ve said Asian men are aesthetically perfect (their hair, color of skin). What about Asian women? Cho: They are perfect. I have this inferiority complex when it comes to other Asian women. I’m astounded by their beauty, especially Korean women. The women in my family are beautiful and intimidating. They seem like they’re bloodless, like aliens. They’re otherworldly. I have a lot of fear attached to some of the women in my family – they were distant and cold, so I find them really, really beautiful, and scary. Girlfriends: What’s your theory on. the Connie Chung factor? That there are very few Asian American women in Hollywood, but there seem to be a number of Asian women television anchors? Cho: I don’t know what that is. All I know is that I have personally never wanted to be an anchor. Girlfriends: Is it true you have a crush on supermodel Shalom Hadow? Cho: I like her because we have the same birthday. Girlfriends: See how these rumors get started. You’ve just done two films with Janeane Garofalo: Can’t Stop Dancing and McClintock’ s Peach. Cho: Yeah, we also did a movie called Sweethearts. She’s coming to my show tonight. I haven’t seen her for a long time. It’s hard because I live in LA. She lives here [in New York]. Girlfriends: Do you think she struggles with being true to herself the way you do? Cho: It’s hard to say. I think she has a great time in her career and her life. It seems to me like she gets to play great parts and be in great movies and has found her role in American cinema. Girlfriends: Let’s talk about the three films you have coming out this year. You’re an exchange student in Fakin’ Da Funk, right? Cho: That was an interesting film to make, because I spent a lot of time changing a Chinese accent into a hip-hop accent. Girlfriends: Does it address any of the real tension between African Americans and Korean Americans in inner cities? Cho: It does, but it’s a very broad view of how things are. The real issues are too uncomfortable to take head-on. Girlfriends: And Can’t Stop Dancing is a 1980s retro comedy? Cho: It’s like Flashdance. It’s a parody. Girlfriends: Spinal Tap meets Flashdance? Cho: Exactly. Like those dance movies made in the 1980s. Girlfriends: Tell me about Pink As the Day She Was Born. Cho: That was produced by Linda Perry [formerly of 4 Non Blondes]. It’s a rock and roll film. It’s a very odd, crazy movie. Girlfriends: As evidenced by the fact that it costars Susan Tyrell and Nicole Eggert. Cho: It’s one of those things you’ll rent at the video store in 20 years. Girlfriends: So it’s about a girl band and you are ... Cho: The owner of a karaoke bar. But I’m also a rhinestone cowboy. Girlfriends: McClintock’s Peach also stars Mike Meyers and Kirsten Johnson from Third Rock from the Sun. Did you work with her? Cho: No, actually it’s one of those movies where you get all your friends to be in it, and then everybody has a separate section, so I didn’t see those guys. But Mike Meyers is another unexpected fan. Girlfriends: That’s not so surprising. Okay, what about the film Spent – was your character the girlfriend? Cho: I don’t even know what I did in that. Girlfriends: Well, the girlfriend is a recovering alcoholic, and the critics have said she’s unconvincing, so I thought there might be some irony in that. Cho: Yeah, I’m a very good recovering alcoholic. [she laughs] Girlfriends: How did you learn the facts of life? Cho: I was not told by my parents. My parents did not tell me about sex, and they still haven’t. I’m still waiting. Girlfriends: Even after looking at gay porno mags with your mother, still no discussion? Cho: Yeah, in terms of actually what happens, they just assumed I would find out on the street. Which I did. Girlfriends: Entertainment Weekly lumped you in with Cher – both of you are survivors with strong gay followings. Since Cher’s faux pas was doing infomercials, tell me which infomercial you’d consider doing? Cho: I like the food dehydrator. I want to make my own jerky. Girlfriends: What do you think of Hlllary Clinton suddenly finding her Jewish roots? Cho: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her discovering it. I don’t think [she discovered her roots] out of convenience. I think she’s so great. She is the driving force behind the presidency. To me she is the president. Girlfriends: Feminist critics in the 1970s argued that modern comedy couldn’t exist without misogyny. Do you think that’s true? Cho: Of course. Comedy is a very misogynist business. It’s such a boys’ club. The fact that I exist and survive within it is constantly a miracle, because I get no respect from my male peers. I never have. None of the women that I work with have. And all the women who’ve been incredibly successful in their comedy careers still don’t get respect from the men. There’s something wrong with you if you want to be a comedian, especially if you’re a comedian and you’re a man. You’re enraged and you’re angry at women. It’s true that comedy could not exist without misogyny However, with the women in it, we are warriors. Girlfriends: So can you be a comedian and be a feminist? Cho: I have to be. If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to survive. I have to believe in what I do and in the sisterhood with other comediennes. Girlfriends: Certainly your funniest skit is when your mom calls and says, “Are you gay? Are you gay? Pick up the phone. If you don’t pick up the phone that means you’re gay. Only gays screen calls. ” Does she still do that? Cho: She calls and leaves pointed messages, but she doesn’t ask me if I’m gay anymore. She went to different things. Girlfriends: Right now your show’s at the Westbeth Theater, which hosted one-person acts from both Eddie Izzard and Sandra Bernhard last year. Which of those comedians would you rather have a one-night stand with? Cho: Sandra, definitely. I find her so compelling. She’s so sexy and tough and smart and beautiful and outrageous and cool. Girlfriends: You’ve said that TV and drag queens were your caretakers. What was your favorite TV show as a kid? Cho: Maude. Girlfriends: That seems like an unlikely show. Cho: Well, it’s kind of drag queen show. Girlfriends: Because of Bea Arthur? Cho: Yeah, Bea
Arthur is sort of a drag king. I loved that show. It was all about strength
and control and power and the idea of this new woman who takes on the world.
It’s a great message.
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