What Joan And I Have in Common

This was originally posted on The Hollywood Reporter.

I love Mad Men, and my favorite character — possibly my favorite fictional female of all time — has to be Joan Harris, nee Holloway. My own character on Drop Dead Diva, Teri Lee, enjoys parallel attributes to Joan, even though ostensibly we are, through the magic of time travel and television, existing some 40-plus years apart.

We are both office mavens, ever at the helm of our own gorgeous womanly heft, wielding it handily in between desks and hard chairs, holding all of the world hostage with our controlling yet gentle condescension and simmering sex appeal. One of the few differences between us is that I don’t wear that astonishingly flattering pen on a chain, functioning like an arrow pointed down to where all the good stuff is, hanging gleefully between Joan’s breasts. In my opinion, it’s truly the luckiest writing implement on earth. Ahhh — to be a pen and live in the deliciously appointed rooms of Joan Harris nee Holloway!

Also, I don’t get to wear any of those ferocious and divine undergarments, which act like a secretary for her own curves and give Joan her glorious shape and magnitude. The girdles and garters and conical bras encompass her spherical perfection, and her stinging wit and fearsome intelligence act alongside accordingly so that whatever she is saying or doing, you are paying close attention.

My fantasy night with Joan would include gin cocktails and clams casino, possibly in Monte Carlo or the isle of Capri — far from the milieu of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. If I took her away, I could have her all to myself. We would gamble and win always, celebrating our jackpots in a decadently appointed European hotel/pension, and at the piano or maybe on the floor, you would find us daintily dipping salty potato chips into champagne and offering them up to each other with a cheer, just like Marilyn Monroe did in The Seven Year Itch because we are women and we are beautiful and proud, and we bask in our own glory, as all women everywhere always should.

3 thoughts on “What Joan And I Have in Common

  1. Well said. While I have loved you far longer, Joan Harris nee Holloway is my favorite on Mad Men, too. Although I cherish the scenes with her and Double D.

  2. Joan Harris nee Holloway? Is this the new standard in stating a woman’s name? Should we now say Hillary Clinton nee Rodham?

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