Have you ever seen people who go out of their way to wear unflattering things because they are so good looking that they can pull off even the most terrible looks? This is very common amongst dancers. Their lithe bodies can take the most abuse from pleats and plaids. The straightness of their backs makes a fine counterpoint to the messy topknot, hair piled into a ball on the very top of their head like shiva. Shiva is the destroyer and the first thing on his list should be his hairdo, but who am I to argue with the divine? The river ganges is supposed to spout from his hairstyle, so there’s more going on in shiva’s topknot than just a chaotic updo achieved without a mirror during the first five minutes of yoga.
These hipster antihipster fashion forward folk are lucky in thrift stores and diving into a dumpster, and there is delicate art to their look, and most of it has to do with having narrow bones and a strict architecture that can show off a garment plain, without fitting. it just hangs, so that the thing can be seen for what it is, as opposed to having to negotiate the threaded turns and valleys of a shapelier figure. it’s not just about thinness, although this is an aspect to physical confidence which can help pull off a truly disgusting look. There is something of an attention to proportion and balance. ‘Ugly’ is just another form of pretty, and if you can actually master this, then you are a bit of a jedi, who also incidentally wear hideous and blousey and unfortunately belted garments and gross tiny braided tailed mullet hair that makes no sense of the head it is on.
Thick black eyeglass frames are essential, and I love these on everyone, no matter how insulting they are to the face underneath. I couldn’t ever wear these as I have no bridge on my nose. Yep, no bridge, but also no river flowing from my topknotted hair so frankly, I don’t need a bridge, but still, these glasses are a dream that will never come true for me. this is one part of ugly/pretty I really envy. The glasses I have a fetish for, truly.
A very short culotte with a cuff near the knee and big accordion pleats around the thighs and buttocks is another thing I would love to wear, but just cannot. I have only seen one person be able to do this. It’s so awful of a pant that only the most beautiful man I know could make it work for him, and the look is memorable and legendary. It’s a strange kind of shorts/pants hybrid that never got popular after the renaissance, like a poufy princely thing, that you could accessorize with a velvet pillow with a lone glass slipper resting on it, for your continuing search for Cinderella – when you really should be looking for new pants instead.