Sex Party Food

I have been to many sex parties since my sex career has been fairly long and tumultuous. I think what the truth is that unfortunately I don’t like sex much, or I like it too much and so I have tried a number of things that don’t suit me and sex parties is one of them. I like the idea of them but I also have never had fun at one, so I don’t go anymore.

But I am finding that I miss them.

What I miss is the food. There’s always a really funny and odd variety of food at sex events that both puzzles and arouses me, not sexually exactly, but there is still tremendous desire involved. I would think about the food as I participated in the strange and sometimes irritating sex and couldn’t wait to get back to the buffet table and would be annoyed when yet another lover would pull me away from it.

There’s always chili, the home-made kind, with lots of canned kidney beans and ground beef and the flavoring out of a packet. Something about those ready made spice mixes gets me really excited. Perhaps it’s the egregious amounts of sodium or the odd chemicals and preservatives that have me hooked. They offer an imitation of life, rather than life itself, but I’d rather have an imitation than the real thing, because I am so used to the imitation that the imposter is more appealing. the chili was thick and bubbled over and was served in the pot it was cooked in, which is the best way.

Hot dogs and buns to eat with the chili were a must. Hot dogs and sex parties have long been inseparable entities. Even at the bare bones bathhouses and warehouse gatherings open only to gay men, they still had hot dogs and off brand soda available from 2 litre bottles left open so the carbonation had gone completely flat. Of course I have not been invited to any of these – but I heard about what was served.

Barbecue potato chips were eternally growing stale in large plastic bowls usually reserved for punch, which was less common. Barbecue was the flavor most likely seen at S&M functions, but then the swinger set could be relied upon a bag or two of sour cream and onion. Never plain, never baked and never salt and vinegar which is sad because salt and vinegar is my favorite.

There was always a big sourdough bread round hollowed out and filled with a spinach cream cheese dip, which I would illegally dip the barbecue chips and sometimes even the hot dogs in, criminal as I am, lawless to the core. I don’t know why they don’t serve the fluffy guts of the loaf next to the bread carcass, but that has never been the case. Perhaps it gets too hard to eat, but I actually like the crispness of fresh bread after its been exposed to the air for a time and it would give some body to scoop up the spinach dip.

The best part of sex party food are the cookies. The later parties I went to had trendier sweets like minicupcakes, which are sexy to look at and pleasing to the eye, like the lingerie of food, little fancies to get you going, but in my heart, the cookies were what I yearned for. These were always prepared by some kind of sex slave, so they were always baked extraordinarily well. This is one of things I adore about the leather community. Submissives made the best cookies and I think about those treats and I would happily turn up at anyone’s dungeon if the slaves were doing the baking.

 

23 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. I’ve been to a lot of sex parties, but I’ve not noticed the food offerings being quite like you describe. Maybe it’s a regional potluck culture and not sex party culture. No one I know ever brings beans to a sex party. I got chewed out, as it were, the other night for bring a garlicky dish to our monthly Polyamory Potluck, which usually has little or not sex at it.

    As far as enjoying sex parties goes, here are some ideas that might make them more fun and rewarding. Sex parties, like any other gatherings, are often not fun until you get to know some of the people who go regularly. Once you find a circle of people you like, you are no longer an outsider. One way to get to know people in the non-biblical sense is to volunteer. Bake the cookies, help set up or clean up, etc. And show up as a player. I know your problem is having to choose from to many potential partners, and mine, as an older male, is how to interest anyone at all. But either way, the best tact is to find someone who wants to do what you really like to do. Others will notice and pretty soon you will be having experiences you like. And perhaps even finding people you want to be friends with.

    One way my lovers and I have used sex parties over the years is to go in a small group and play together. We tend to attract people who find us interesting, and we have made friendships that have lasted decades.

    Once one has a group of polyamorous friends, it is possible to have smaller, more intimate sex parties. These can include erotic massage, three or four people massaging one person, who gets to ask for as much or little sexual touch as they like. The emotional quality of a party where everyone knows each other and likes each other is far more emotionally satisfying than a large orgy where you are a stranger.

    Si

  2. I’ve never been to a sex party or any type of polyamorous gathering, but now I think I’m curious just to see what the food is like. Thanks for nurturing my random weirdness Margaret :-)

  3. I am extremely naive about what actually goes on at a sex party, but I can’t understand why anyone would serve chili at a sex party. It has to be the unsexiest food I can think of. Looks like poop, leaves your mouth stinkie, makes you pass gas. OMGWTF!

  4. until the impostor is baking crank w/sour cream icing + a sherry base to tip the ripple effect of shrinkage from opting out of mutual + bogarting any chemical that slithers into the piss trough.

  5. i just have to ask if you’ve ever tried the utz jalapeno kettle chips. i used to be a salt n vinegar fan but these have changed my life. they *might* only be available in baltimore-area, and if this is the case, please buy some or tell me where to send you some.

  6. You ever read Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk? He describes the food table at an imagined porn shoot pretty amazingly, got the same feeling reading this.

  7. I hear ya! The “hot buffet” is a running joke with my poly/kink friends. I never saw any chili, but spinach dip, chips and soda– check. There was always at least one kind of hot dish, cuz there’s nothing like the smell of a hot meaty casserole when you’re in a room full of naked, sweaty, writhing strangers.

  8. I co-create sex parties on a regular basis for my local community and we have never had any of the things on your list at our parties, except for cookies. We always think about what would be sexy and sensual (encouraging people to feed each other!) and stay far away from what wouldn’t be sexy for close mouths and bodies – beans, eggs, garlic, onions, etc. But perhaps we’re different because we are a volunteer event production team rather than potluck.

  9. @JR: Snacks, if not food, are a must at sex party. It is a very bad idea to go low blood sugar at sex party.

  10. I’ve been to quite a few sex parties seeing how it is one of the direct sell companies I do, and I have seen a wide range of food that the hostess put out. It good because people are looking at all the times for sale and having a good time. They need energy to shop and have a good time.

  11. grew tired of S&M people as there was too much chili served after opening one from fisting. i had my limits and the holocaust revisitors as a mutual straight alliance of nazis turned the entire picture OFF. the impostors brought the final limit of crack denial and poisoned liver creating spillover into ruining a picture that was already borderline with the chili being served from someone’s piggish anus. i was told it’s big in zurich as are the LIES. thanks margaret — they tell me Pride is just around the corner but that corner pocket filled with chili had me stopping at ralph’s for alka selzter and a reminder of the beauty of hebrew nationals compared to ball park wanks. mean?? i do NOT enjoy frauds nor pseudo homosexuals doing junk. LOVE you.

  12. I could not living without reading your blog now. The thing you have known becomes i have known. I love you.

  13. I will have eternal memories of the Sunday bathouse barbeque at club orlando. The oniony smell of a bear’s breath in the hot tub after having a hot dog or hamburger, and the cookies! Made by Sam’s, not slaves, but isnt’ working at Sam’s a form of slavery in and of itself?

  14. I love how you are able to take something perverse and make it even more perverse. Me? I would be worried about hidden ingredients in the food of the human organic kind. This would be a case of something tasting like shit because, well……it is.

  15. a stitch and time saves nine if not a wrinkle in time, but need to patch up just those shorts and was wondering if you could suggest some anal beads that would make for good embroidery while patching up just those ugly shorts. happy pride — some people are just dumb as dirt. ingratitude toward history and progress is the primary reason why history repeats itself. just dumb as dirt.

  16. … I’ve always prefer the private sailor parties when I was in the Navy stationed over seas. In Japan especially, all the guest would bring a dish or a bottle of champagne, sake or some form of alcohol … I here in the states usually hundreds of guys would show-up (mostly uninvited) with only their “appetite” 4 sex…

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