R.I.P. Amy Winehouse

I am sad to hear about Amy Winehouse. It’s really awful. I didn’t know her, but I loved her music, and her incredible voice, and although she was very young, her eyes looked out from an ancient soul. That deep, rich well of sadness where she drew her startling contralto from, the dark depths of her humor and tragedy – seemed like it had been around for centuries.  I hope she comes back around again, in another form – a happier one.  We will all be gone by then, but our children will have another stunning idol, and they will bask in her glory. And this time, she will win and win and win and win. She deserves that.

Whenever I saw her latest disaster unfold in the tabloids or on blogs, I wanted to wrap my arms around her. I felt sad for her because I’ve lived that – not in such a grand or public way, but I have had my share of drug and alcohol rages, nights I couldn’t believe I awoke from. I’ve been alone in hotel rooms with all my demons present and not a friend among them. It’s something I could see in her, and when I saw her there, crying in her elegantly cascading beehive hairdo and slightly too big but still expensive ballet flats, rare vintage beaded cardigan daintily perched on her birdlike shoulders, I saw myself ever clearer. I’ve got those red jeans, even though they might be 12 sizes larger. I’ve walked a mile in your flats girl. I never put drugs in my hair, only because I have never worn it up, but that was a good idea. I always thought that.

I’ve actually been weeping about her on and off all day, grieving for her and her family and friends and fans and for myself and what drugs have given and taken from me. I guess I always had luck on my side. I always managed to get up and keep going. I didn’t want to go to rehab either. We are all just trying to make it after all.  I thought that there was more time for Amy Winehouse though. I thought that her little tiny body with the great big voice had countless comebacks left. She seemed so tough and strong, bigger than life. Maybe it was the booming power of her pipes, the resonant chambers of her lovely Modigliani face bringing forth a sound that singers like me long for in the studio and onstage. It comes along once in a generation, if we are lucky I suppose. And we were lucky to have her as long as we did. Wherever we go when we die, I hope she is happy there. I hope that she is entertaining the dead with the magic she brought to us in her life. I hope that she can breathe free with a sigh of relief that her suffering has now come to an end.

I send all my love to her family and friends and many many fans worldwide. What a life she had. Extraordinary and brief – all too brief. Perhaps God is selfish and just wants the truly exceptional creatures he has made all to himself, so he bestows his finest gifts to those he knows will not spend too long on earth.  Maybe he just wanted Amy Winehouse to serenade him in the big rehab up in the sky. Wherever she is, she will be missed.

21 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Sumptuously written, Margaret.

    While I was not a big fan of Amy’s music, I did appreciate her extraordinary voice and talent.

    Such a shame. Sending good vibes to her family, friends and fans.

  2. Your post about Amy Winehouse is spot on. I, too have dealt with similar demons. I also hurt for her.

  3. Thank you. I think anyone struggling with demons and sobriety feels exactly the same. Your words are eloquent and heartbreaking.

  4. Margaret,

    Because of the eloquent words just typed above, somebody will compose an epitaph so meaningful about you (no time soon please). You are a true beauty. Keep doing what you do so well. Continue to inspire.

  5. so sad about our loss,,,i wanted to grow old with her,,live my life as (false) friends!!!!if you know what i mean!!

  6. She was a talented lady, so unique and so much bigger than she looked. I hope wherever she is the sky is a little blue-er and the sun is a little warmer. RIP Amy.

  7. Ms. cho. Thank you. from the bottom of my heart. Means so much to me that an incredible comedian would keep all expectations that I have of her so true, and be human. Any other would use this as part of there act and disgustingly drop her name and a cheap joke without any compassion. Im a huge amy fan. She gave me soul. And I will always be a cho fan. Seen you twice and I love you so much more now. Ur so fucking real.

  8. I thought that I was the only person that didn’t know her who was crying. Your words are beautiful Margaret.

  9. Truly touching words. Especially being real and frank about your own partying. I, too, have had crazy drunken rights that I was surprised when I woke up. I know she had a lot of pain in her soul and I hope she is at peace now.

  10. Thank you for those words, Margaret. I, too, have been crying off and on all day. Some for my friends in Norway and some about Amy Winehouse’s sad departure. By appreciating her talent and expression of pain, am I complicate in her destruction? As a dancer and actor, I’m confused, once again, about which pathos is mine and which I must give to the audience. Sometimes, well, I wish my pain was just my own. I’m just really sad. Once again, what I should write daily, Thank you, Margaret Cho.

  11. Very moving and honest. It’s good to see someone remember and also defend her, I’ve gotten so sick of seeing people post negative comments about her and make jokes about her already.

  12. Thank you miss Margaret for not just saying something compassionate but honestly & personally expressing how this moves you, because you’ve managed to express a whole lot of what I feel too. Also for creating a space for us to comment about this that’s not overrun by hostile trolls, as some mainstream article sites that should know better seem to be today.

    Two years ago I lost my best friend, who struggled with alcohol + other drugs all her short adult life. A killer comedienne who put her friends into helplessly chortling stitches but never made it to the stage. My sorrow now is dedicated to Amy, my Joe, and all the genius potential cut off way too young. May all be healed.

  13. This is beautiful… thank you…. you have a way of capturing what I feel and saying it so well..stay strong sending my love to you.

  14. So beautifully stated. Thank you for saying the words that were in my heart but I could not speak myself.

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