Pistol Whipped

Everyone was trying to pit me against Bristol, but the truth is, we got along well. She never asked me to babysit Tripp or anything like that, but I consider her a friend. So what’s my take on her television debut? Well…

Why did Bristol do Dancing with the Stars? I heard from someone who really should know (really should seriously know the dirt really really) that the only reason Bristol was on the show was because Sarah Palin forced her to do it. Sarah supposedly blames Bristol harshly and openly (in the circles that I heard it from) for not winning the election, and so she told Bristol she “owed” it to her to do DWTS so that “America would fall in love with her again” and make it possible for Sarah Palin to run in 2012 with America behind her all the way. Instead of being supposedly “handicapped” by the presence of her teen mom daughter, now Bristol is going to be an “asset” – a celebrity beloved for her dancing. I am sure the show wasn’t in on this (but who knows anything really).

Although I don’t agree with the family’s politics at all, I really like Bristol as a person. She’s warm and incredibly supportive, and I think that she looks beautiful out on the dance floor. It’s heartbreaking that people are so awful to her about her weight. I think she looks fantastic, and why does everybody think they have a right to comment on our bodies? What are young girls going to take away from that? If people call her fat what kind of impact does that have on women who have similar body types – which is most of us??!! Still, it is a dance competition, and so I am sure that people feel they have the right to judge bodies and not just ability. That’s just wrong.

Bristol is learning. She improved a lot, in my opinion. Her tango was fierce and really the best dance she did. You really do learn to dance in this competition! I am proud of her for shaking her ass! But keep in mind there are other forces at work here and it’s not just for the love of dance.

Now I am scared I am going to wake up with a decapitated moose head in my bed.

171 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Margaret do you remember when you were a little girl taking dance lessons. Not once did people label each other with political beliefs or groups. That is how DWTS should have been with Bristol. When people are instantly labeled and people are looking for ‘dirt’, and political messages are forced in the dances…isn’t this a form of bullying. I do appreciate the words of truth about Bristol’s personality and protecting her and other young lady’s about attacks of body weight. Remember love can only grow from love.

  2. The Divine Mz Cho,
    When life gives you MooseHeads, make MooseHead Stew!
    I thin the recipe is Sarah’s soon to be released “Honky Moms On The Go, Recipes For Disaster” CookBook.

  3. I am such a fan of yours – Loved you on the show – LOVE Louie!!! – I was saddened when I read this blog – You opened with a declaration that you are friends with Bristol & then went on to share her secrets – They aren’t yours to share and a friend doesn’t do that … I would think you would know better – You “outed” a friend and that is a cardinal sin 🙁

  4. Wow, I always sort of felt sorry for Bristol.
    Imagine having Sarah Palin as your mother!
    Poor girl didn’t do anything to deserve that.

    Her meek personality makes me feel like ‘Sarah Barracuda’ (as her school chums called her) was probably never really there for her as a mother, probably bulldozed over that child with her ambition, stifled Bristol’s indivduality with her domineering personality.

    So what you wrote comes as no surprise to me.

    Don’t feel bad for \spilling the beans.\
    Bristol didn’t have to open her mouth–she obviously WANTED people to know.
    Her body language told us most of the time that she didn’t really want to be there.

    I wonder if Mama Sarah is making her go out and do all that abstinence preaching as well?
    And have you noticed the abstinence audience is full of blue hairs that probably haven’t had any sex in years and years?

  5. Margaret Cho I have always found you to be funny…and now I find that you are also a good dancer. I booed the judges from your first dance that I felt was hilarious in a Lucille Ball/Carol Burnett take. I have seen you on Joy Behar’s show and I know that it is difficult to have an objective view of who Sarah Palin is when surrounded by those echoing such disdain for the lady. I come from a large family that is deeply divided about their opinions of Sarah Palin. She is such a polarizing figure. Even my sister who is also Republican just grimaces at the mention of her name.
    I became obsessed about Sarah Palin years ago when my daughter who was in the AF in Anchorage brought home some articles about her. I was interested in the protection of Polar Bears and why people could not drill for oil in Alaska. Palin wrote some great op-ed pieces in NYT and can’t remember the name of the other magazine but she debunked the fact that the polar bears were not in danger of becoming extinct and the environment would not be hurt by drilling for oil there. I began researching and found that Alaskan gov’t is far more regulatory concerning our environment that the countries we get oil from and would make America less dependent on those foreign countries that have us hostage by our own demands of their oil supplies. So I did my own research and decided to agree with this amazing and fascinating woman in regard to these things.

    There is a lot of twisted stories out to discredit and villainize Sarah Palin like this one you heard and are reporting on. I chose to NOT believe this. You believe this because it fits what you believe about Sarah Palin. I choose to NOT believe this because it does not fit into the person I believe Sarah Palin to be. I would believe this like I would believe that Joy Behar beat her daughter..ha!
    People who like Sarah Palin may attack you but I believe you are reporting on what you believe to be true….and you are certainly entitled to your own opinion….If I had made friends with Bristol and believed this story I would report this hateful powerful Mother Dearest too!…..that said….you have another advantage that we who choose not to believe this Mommy Dearest account have …you have Bristol as a friend.

    Simply tell your friend what you have heard and ask her if it is true and get her words on the subject. I am sure that Bristol would appreciate your going to her about this. Bristol has a FB page.
    In the meantime pick up a copy of Going Rogue and read Sarah’s explanations about many things that have been reported on by the media that are not true. You may still not agree with her reasoning but at least you will know how she came to her decisions.
    Also, if she is ever elected President you will also have a friend in the White House.
    Margaret Cho rocks laughter!
    Palin for President 2012

  6. Margaret–
    big fan of yours. Interesting to hear the inside scoop on Bristol. Doesn’t surprise me that mama Grizzly forced her. Now–the big question is what can all of us sane people do to get Sarah Palin to shut up and stay in Wasilla?

  7. I think Sarah Palin has done a fantastic job discrediting her own intellect in front of millions of TV viewers.
    I mean, she can see Russia from Alaska.
    What else do you really need to know?

    Stay strong, Margaret.
    The thought police are here.

  8. kris @12:05
    The fact is, Margaret may actually be doing Bristol a favor! How do you know?? What people see/hear out of Bristol and Sarah are only what anyone has to go on. Their record speaks for itself…..for both of these women.

  9. I wanted to point out that Bristol has been pregnant two times this year. The first time was with Ben Barber’s baby, and there was either a miscarriage or a termination. Then on the rebound from trying to get back together with Levi so she could have a reality show with him (and get him to claim the baby as his, which he finally balked at) she got pregnant again by an unknown fellow. Who has supposedly tried to be supportive and even has allegedly turned up at some early DWTS tapings only to be kicked out as a “stalker.” This is how much of a control freak Bristol is. She let her latest baby daddy be turned away by security when he’d brought her flowers and wanted to be supportive of her efforts in LA.

    So Bristol is maybe, what, four to five months into a new pregnancy – and she never thought she’d get this far into the competition. So now she’s in a bind – both figuratively and literally. Corsets can only do so much, especially if you’re contractually obligated to go on tour once you make the finals. Sucks to be you, Bristol the Pregnant Pig. Have fun dealing with the absolute crap that has become your alleged “life.” Tee hee hee.

  10. BTW, LA talent agencies are currently putting out internal casting calls for a new “boyfriend” or “showfriend” for Bristol. The idea is to create a fake romance between her and an upstanding young fella and have them do a limited run reality show together. This man will not pretend to be the new babydaddy, but he will step into the role of helping Bristol “raise” Tripp (plus the newest baby.)

    The figure being thrown out there is $50,000 for the guy per year for a minimum three year contract. They want a COMPLETE unknown for the job. Preferably someone “rural.” Agents are saying this amount is too low but they are going ahead with preliminary casting calls in LA as we speak. The new babydaddy has his own lucrative deal going on (at least one book deal, maybe some other media deals.) The Paylins have been advised to get out in front of the story before it breaks about who the new babydaddy is and craft a storyline about Bristol yet AGAIN falling in love, yet AGAIN being betrayed by a loser guy, but now she’s found “TRUE LOVE” with her (paid) boyfriend. How she “danced bravely through her tears” on DWTS, barf, barf.

    Hopefully the new babydaddy is smart enough to fight back with publicity of his own. I am hearing that he has some VERY interesting video, texts, and phone messages from Bristol showing her flipping out at him and acting psycho (counter-acting the lie about him “betraying her.”)

    It will all come down to a war between publicists, basically.

    Be on the lookout for Bristol’s new (paid for) boyfriend who should turn up within the next couple of months. They want to get him in place and signed to a deal before she gives birth again.

  11. Margaret, I think you are HI-larious and I only tuned in to DWTS to see what you might say. I bet your claim about S. Palin is absolutely true, and I don’t doubt that someone really super-duper close to B. Palin told you. I admit, I really enjoy hearing negative press about S. Palin. But I am disappointed that something told to you in confidence, by someone who probably thought highly of you, has now been blabbed on your blog. XOXO

  12. Poor Bristol wouldn’t even be on the show unless she had a famous mother. There is nothing wrong with that. That’s life but admit it. Instead, the Republican agenda that champions there is no free lunch (don’t extend unemployment benefits) and stand on your own hold Bristol’s ascent on Dance with the Stars as confirmation of their beliefs. Yes, we are told she’s earned it. The sad part is Bristol is the unwitting pawn in all this propaganda.


  13. MediaInsider – Impossible to make this stuff up! Someone once referred to the Palins as a family of grifters. No truer words.

    Grifters – enough to put Lilly and Roy Dillon to shame.

    And, what the heck is w/Bristol?!! I can understand the right to life. But, NO BIRTH CONTROL?!! How dumb is this girl? She needs to see a therapist. Something is very wrong here.

  14. Poor Bristol- I’d be willing to bet her Mom put her up to it. She never looked happy/engaged when the camera went backstage to look in on the hijinks & camaraderie supposedly going on in the dressing room. Why should she? Everybody else in the contest became a star the old-fashioned way- starting with a ton of talent, ambition, drive, slogging through auditions, hours & hours of practice/rehearsals, etc. Most of the contestants are true performers, with sharp wits & sharp tongues, & big healthy egos. Then there’s little Bristol- and all these performers are supposed to act like she’s one of them. I suspect she got put in her place pretty quick.

  15. Ariel @ 5:07

    The “Abstinence-only” crowd have been researched and they found that this practice delayed the onset of sexual intercourse an average of 1.5 years. After that, after having it so drilled into them (sorry, no pun) that condoms are ineffective, they don’t use them. They then engage in the riskiest of sexual practices and then become MORE prone to get pregnant and have and spread STDs. Logical, right?

  16. Margaret, you’re a funny girl; but if this is a joke, it’s not funny.

    Bristol calling herself a “teen advocate” doesn’t make her a good person–it makes her a money-grubbing hypocrite.

    And, I pray that what you’ve said about Sarah Palin’s 2012 run isn’t true. If we ever get a Madam President, I hope it’s someone like Hillary Clinton…NOT someone who maligns, marginalizes and criminalizes gays, and thinks hunting down and slaughtering endangered animals species is “fun.”

    That family is bad news for America. If Bristol came on television and publicly condemned her mother’s manipulation and politics, I might, as you do, call her a good person.

  17. Pardon me, I admit I didn’t look carefully, but in my review of the comments above, it seems to me that the only two that involve attempting to dismiss this post in part by hurling irrelevant obscenities are men.

    On behalf of my gender, please accept my apologies.

  18. What a bunch of crap!! I’ve always enjoyed you as a performer but now i’ve lost SO much respect for you as a person. I’m a registered Independent yet have voted MOSTLY for democrats since the late 80’s. I’m a research analyst and VERY familiar with the multitude of tracking studies (app.11) the DNC has done on Palin over the last 27 months. VERY familiar.
    By the way, this was entirely Bristol Palins’ decision and done mainly to get over her shyness and earn her OWN six figure salary.

  19. Well, it was sure suspicious that Bristo Palin kept advancing when dancers with better scores would get eliminated every week. Brandy being the last to have actually scored better than Bristol and yet be eliminated. It definitely gave the appearance that ABC wanted the daughter of conservative Republican 2012 presidential candidate Sarah Palin to advance and get as much screen time for she and her mother as they could manage. I actually figured from all I had heard that ABC would crown Palin the winner. Despite Jennifer Grey getting perfect 10’s. No, ABC has permanently tarnished DWTS. As if having Tucker Carlson and Tom DeLay as former contestants didnt tip ABC’s hand.

  20. p.stigers – Well, she DIDN’T – EARN IT, that is. On what basis is this untalented, unaccomplished person deserving of a six-figure salary other than she’s an unwed teenage mother who happens to be Sarah Palin’s daughter?

    Just showing up doesn’t cut it.

    Half-hearted effort in rehearsal doesn’t cut it.

    Of course, you can rationalize that putting herself out there and causing controversy, thereby increasing ratings for the show, was “earning it” and therefore ABC got their money’s worth – but her elevation to final 3 despite her obvious slacker approach was unfair to the others and bad for the DWTS brand.

    Brandy, Rick, Audrina – any of those were more deserving of final 3 than Bristol – who plainly didn’t care enough to even try pick up her feet most of the time. Jennifer’s very first attempt at jive was ten times better than Bristol’s final attempt at that same dance.

    It is infuriating to long-time fans of the show to see other more accomplished people fall by the wayside just because of rigged voting by people who weren’t even watching the show.

    ABC put a stop to it at the end – but not before the damage was done.

    Sadly, there is talk of another Palin on next season. If that is case, I am no longer a viewer.

  21. Margaret – I love you dearly but if you are truly a friend to Bristol this blog post says more about you than about the Palins.

    You heard from a friend of a friend etc… If you are “friends” with Bristol, did you ask her? If it wasn’t a secret and Sarah P. was open with her blame then why wouldn’t Bristol be honest with a friend?

    Did you ask her directly if it was true? or are you so excited for juicy gossip about your “friend” that you wanted to get it out there true or not?

    Also, why would you allow your “friend” to be lied about and disparaged in such a way by Media Insider? I would NEVER allow someone to spread such rumors about a friend of mine.

    Look people, hating Bristol’s mom’s politics is one thing but the viciousness and hatred spewed at the entire family is completely different. Are we the party of tolerance, acceptance, and peace?

    How does making up rumors, spreading unconfirmed rumors, rooting for their personal failure, picking on teenagers and being downright hateful help us? Does it make us better or more right?

    Let’s stand on our ideas, beliefs and intelligence. Good for Mrs. Palin to stand up for what she believes, even if I don’t agree with her. I will take passion over apathy anyday.

    Margaret, if you really are a “friend” to Bristol as you say, make us proud and act like one. Apologize for either breaking a confidence & choosing hate of a person over value of a friend or apologize for repeating flat out gossip about someone you claim to value.

    After all, if any of this is true do we think Bristol will ever come over to our side if this is the way she is treated by us and betrayed by you?? We should show her that we are better and give her reason to explore a different point of view. Make her feel welcome.

  22. Are you insane? Sarah blames Bristol for losing the election?Sarah wasn’t the one running for President in case you forgot…Sarah accepted McCain’s invitation to join his ticket knowing that Bristol was pregnant. You turned out to be a disappointment, Margaret. Don’t know what you had to gain by repeating this ridiculous story. I love Drop Dead Diva and look forward to seeing you and the other actors each season. I hope I can get past the nastiness you put out there because right now I don’t care if I ever see you or that show again.
    With friends like you who needs enemies.

  23. Margaret, I’ve never watched your show but I think I’ve seen you in stand up on the Comedy Channel. I’ve never watched the Dancing show either and I couldn’t pick Bristol out of a police line up. I am interested in the Sarah Palin circus though and would curl up like a foetus if she became President. I find it fascinating that SP could think Bristol lost the election for her. If true it’s a valuable insight into a most scary personality. Thanks for sharing it.

  24. I don’t understand all of you people suggesting that this is breaking Bristol’s confidence. Read more closely, Bristol didn’t tell Margaret about this, someone else did.

    Let’s be realistic: everything Bristol has been doing the last two years has been about payback for her ill-timed “mistake” of getting pregnant, and image rehabilitation for her mother. The teen abstinence spiel that she does is so laughable as to be worthless (not to mention horribly insulting to her son, who she implies is the worst thing that ever happened to her life) but it’s pointed payback to mom for that pregnancy which destroyed Sarah’s cred amongst certain demographics which should’ve been lock, stock and barrel (yes, gun metaphors, liberals can make them too) behind her.

    Bristol said something interesting in one of her early rehearsal packages. She didn’t describe herself as a celebrity (which I thought was one of the criteria for something called Dancing with the Stars) or as a teen activist, she lamented “three weeks ago I was a receptionist at a chiropractor’s office.” And that’s true, her $40,000 speeches were an occasional thing, one or two a month at best. She was at home in Alaska, answering phones for her doctor.

    And it also makes you wonder where her appearance fees were going. If I had a small child and could make $40,000 even once in a year, I wouldn’t be working a low-skill day job that kept me apart from him and forced me to pay for childcare. It’s not financially prudent. I have a feeling that the receptionist job was yet more penance for Bristol for her “embarrassment.” She’s been having coals heaped upon her head since before Tripp was born (remember the big-coat-hold-your-baby-brother duty she pulled throughout the campaign tour, even after her pregnancy was confirmed?) and Sarah couldn’t even resist talking about how shocked and saddened she and the “First Dude” were about it in an interview about Bristol’s dancing. She didn’t need to bring it up, but there it was, another reminder of Bristol’s betrayal of the family and all the things that they say they believe in.

    We know that Sarah Palin is on a quest right now to a.) make her family look really good, really American, really “just like you” but with an Alaska quirk (see: clubbing giant fish to death on her reality show)
    b.) keep herself and her all-American family in the media constantly (see: reality show, ghost-written book, book tour, ridiculous bleating on Twitter that gets reported on in the news)
    c.) keep herself relevant at all costs so that her celebrity gives her points over the other members of the GOP 2012 field, most of whom have run for the top spot before, have better name recognition and absolutely better credentials educationally (all her likely opponents have at least one graduate degree) tons more experience (none of them quit less than halfway through their first term in higher office) and can intelligently explain things like what news sources their frequent, and why they advocate for political positions beyond “it’s what’s right for the American people.”

    That Bristol was and is a pawn in Sarah Palin’s game of trying to make mass popularity the paramount criteria for election to the highest office in the country. It didn’t take Margaret writing this entry to make that clear to anyone who’s actually paying attention.

  25. Margaret, I used to like you and thought you were funny back in the day. What happened?? Sorry, but I just don’t buy this nonsense and don’t find the source credible at all. For one, everyone is looking for publicity these days in all shape and form (specially for TV/Movie personalities who are reviving their downward careers) and this does not exclude you my dear!

    MediaInsider: Which planet are you from? Have you been drinking toilet water or smoking your socks?? I think your brain is working overdrive. Get a therapist!

  26. I can’t forgive you …sorry, for doing that tired reality show on ABC – Fox’s mistress. I flipped i on “briefly” l for the Finale then headed to the vomitorium at the point David Hassellhoff strutted the stuff he should have not.

    I use to be a very big fan of yours here in SF. now I am honestly not sure what to think of you since you allowed yourself to be exposed to the (RTVs) reality tv virus syndrome.

    please escape quickly!! and bring whoopi with you. 🙂

  27. OOPS, I’m not Margaret. You are! hee hee
    I can’t forgive you …sorry, for doing that tired reality show on ABC – Fox’s mistress. I flipped i on “briefly” l for the Finale then headed to the vomitorium at the point David Hassellhoff strutted the stuff he should have not.

    I use to be a very big fan of yours here in SF. now I am honestly not sure what to think of you since you allowed yourself to be exposed to the (RTVs) reality tv virus syndrome.

    please escape quickly!! and bring whoopi with you. 🙂

  28. Margaret, you are great! I love how you are hilarious, but also sensitive and very level-headed. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sarah set Bristol up for this. I also love love love your last line: Now I am scared I am going to wake up with a decapitated moose head in my bed.

  29. While the lot of you continue to blather on re this preposterous bit of fiction The TRUTH is-that there currently resides, in OUR nation’s Highest Office– the most contemptuous & contemptible of figures to ever step foot into the American public arena

    37th Congress 2nd Session House of Representatives 1862
    Who are natural born Citizens?
    ALL PERSONS BORN within the Republic, OF PARENTS OWING ALLEGIANCE TO NO OTHER SOVEREIGNTY, ARE NATURALBORN CITIZENS. Gentlemen can find no exception to this statement touching natural born citizens except what is said in the Constitution in relation to Indians The reason that exception was made in the Constitution is apparent to everybody

    U.S. Congressman, abolitionist,”Fath­er of the 14th Amendment” John Bingham, confirms understanding & construction Framers used re birthright & jurisdiction House of Reps 3/9 1866
    I find no fault with the introductory clause which is simply declaratory of what is written in the Constitution, that EVERY HUMAN BEING BORN within the jurisdiction of the United States OF PARENTS NOT OWING ALLEGIANCE TO ANY FOREIGN SOVEREIGNTY IS,in the language of your Constitution itself,A NATURAL BORN CITIZEN

  30. Margaret, I love your comedy and I loved watching you on the show, especially when you and Bruno got into it. Anyway, I just wanted to say: it was obvious to me throughout the season that Bristol’s heart wasn’t really in it. So my reaction to you “spilling the beans” so to speak is like, Meh. People who accuse you of being a bad person for revealing such a ground-breaking “secret” are just a tad overwrought if you ask me.

    What’s interesting is that Sarah Palin blames her daughter’s unwed pregnancy for her defeat, rather than Sarah’s own complete lack of qualifications, demonstrated ignorance of international politics, and her inability to give straight answers to straight questions. Typical: she refuses to assume responsibility for her own failures, just like the GOP, the “party of personal responsibility” can’t take responsibility for the failure of their economic policies.

    Also, I couldn’t agree more with you about how awful and horrible it is to hear so many ugly comments about Bristol’s weight. Whether she’s pregnant or not is nobody’s business but hers, the machinations of her exploitative and manipulative mother notwithstanding. Yes, it does harm the self-image of girls and young women when a woman in the public eye is constantly subjected to this level of vitriol, for the offense of being slightly thicker than a flagpole.

  31. Thanks for the reality scoop on Bristol. It’s obvious that shy and awkward Bristol wasn’t doing the DWTS because she loved the spotlight. It just confirms the true agenda of that “Mama Grizzly.” We all have our problems with our mamas, but forcing your kid into getting national ridicule is very low class. No other Presidient, or presidential hopeful, has ever stooped so low.

  32. So- I’m sorry… Who are you exactly to release this “rumor?” I actually liked you on the show, but here you really prove you have no cooth. All you do is show your colors, and fall in line with so many other self important celebs (and wannabe celebs) who think it’s cool to write anything bad about Sarah Palin, or any other high profile conservative.

    Completely classless for you to call yourself a friend of Bristol Palin and then write this BS. Do you seriously think she considers you a friend after you wrote this? Do you always blog about rumors, however detrimental they could be to someone, your “friends,” without knowing for fact? Get over yourself you over tattooed hypocrite.

  33. Loved All American Girl (google it people).
    That was when TV had real programming.
    The BP story here rings true, but I am really enjoying the comments.
    Why don’t you moderate? You’re so funny!

  34. Margaret, I think you are right on the money. Even though I think that Bristol was way out of her league, she did improve every week, BUT, I also feel that others that were voted off should not have gone before Bristol, and having her come in 2nd!!!! No Way, Kyle was 1000% better, I am not saying Bristol did not try, she did, BUT for Brandi to be voted off and Bristol staying, lets say I have a whole lot of questions.
    Do I think Palin made Bristol do the show, damn straight. She blames Bristol for her and McCain losing, well, I guess she had to blame someone, God forbid she had somethng to do with it, all anyone has to do is go back and watch any of the interviews with any of the news people—she opened her mouth and her brains fell out, and that is giving her a compliment, saying she has brains!!!!!

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