There is something going on downtown. It’s really bad. It seems that I have had some kind of gastrointestinal attack – I don’t know what this is caused by. Normally I don’t have stomach issues. I have an iron belly which can digest anything including woodchips and metal. I have the strongest digestive system I know. The only thing I cannot handle is squid – which makes my lips swell up like Angelina Jolie. It actually looks really pretty, but then I can’t breathe.
I think dancing now 3-6 hours a day is making me swallow a lot of air – like when I make my dogs fun chew toys with a treat in the middle. They go crazy for them licking and pawing them to make the little bite of food hidden inside come out, and then a few hours later, the entire house smells like a hot springs or a mineral pool – it’s just fart fart fart. I am on my tour bus and the back smells like a giant fart. Like you are living inside a fart. Its so stinky I can’t believe it. it smells totally different from the rest of the bus. The front smells normal, the back – it’s like there was a gas leak. I hope the smell doesn’t reach into the bunks like an evil brown finger, tickling the noses of the innocent and asleep. Sometimes becoming a beautiful dancer is not so pretty.