Eyelash Problem

I am using this stuff called Latisse, which is the Brooke Shields endorsed serum that is supposed to grow your eyelashes. Me and my eyelashes have always had some problems. I have very short, sparse ones, which don’t curl up and do little else than fold back into my eyelid. They are fairly standard Asian eyelashes. I don’t mind them so much, but it would be nice to have long, lustrous glamorous ones without having extensions. My lashes are also a lot shorter than they used to be because I dumbly let a very inexperienced student put extensions on my lashes at my first Atlanta apartment last year. It was super scary and it took 7 hours and she used like crazy glue and iron shavings like she was drawing a magnetic beard on or something and in about 3 days, all my already short eyelashes broke off into my eyes. Before they broke off they were poking into my eyelid and eyeball and blinding me. Do not let anyone who is not licensed and trained specifically for the job do your eyelash extensions. It was like a coathanger abortion but for my eyes. It really hurt and my eyelashes have never been the same since and it has been a year already. She thought this was ‘funny’ and I was ‘devastated.’

I have been wearing false eyelashes since, which are a pain to put on all the time. I needed a better solution. Latisse was suggested by a makeup artist, and so I went to the ‘medical spa’ to procure it. It’s pricey; 2 small bottles cost $200, but it’s worth it. The shit works. The first time I put it on I could actually feel something happening. It was like I planted a row of eyelash seeds on my lid, and they started growing! Totally amazing. There are warnings all over the package that you are only supposed to use it once a day, and you should only use it on your upper lids. You are also only supposed to use the brushes provided in the packaging, but of course I ignored all that. It was working so well, I started using it several times a day, and also putting it on my lower lashes too. They have nearly doubled in length and density in about a month, and it’s making me up my dosage, using a narrow eyeliner brush to make the bottle last longer. It’s the eyelash equivalent of crushing up your prescription pain medication and snorting it. It looks so good that I don’t even need to wear eyeliner. I just curl my lashes and add some mascara and that is it. I totally feel like Rebecca Gayheart or Lori Laughlin or some babe from Full House or something – like all I need is Noxema to be beautiful.

Anyway, yesterday I noticed weird hairs sprouting out in a row underneath my eye! I am growing another set of eyelashes on the top of my cheekbones!! Its so fucking bizarre! It’s real wolfman style! I am feeling like that TV on the Radio song “Wolf Like Me” and wondering if I need to join Team Jacob because it’s really bad. I would have taken a photo of it but my makeup artist at Drop Dead Diva had to actually shave it off today so I could look ok on camera and not like a wolf girl.

I am not gonna stop using the Latisse, by the way. I am just gonna stick to doing it once a day. Either that or howl at the moon.

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41 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Oh, my god! I am having such a horrible time with my own eyelashes (standard Asian eyelashes) but now they are starting to turn into my eye and poke me in the eye (especially the ones on the bottom). I don’t want to get surgery–the Latisse serum sounds interesting! Although I hope I don’t turn into a wereworlf, that would be not cute.

  2. HEY Margaret Cho!!

    Long eyelashes are not all that they are cracked up to be. Mine get tangled and fall into my eye, it sucks. The worst is cause they are so thick they alwyas fall INTO my eye and it feels like a college jock forced to scrape gum off my eye, but he isn’t one of those hot ones so it just hurts like hell!!! I will post a pic of my eyes on your fb page check them out!!! SERIOUSLY LONG!!

    LOVE YOU!!

    Ruben

  3. I was always curious about trying this. Thanks for letting us know it works!! :) There was a warning I read about being very careful to only put it there.. Because the hair might grow other places.. My only fear would be it accidently dropping somewhere else, like what seemed to happen with you. But I will definitely look into it now. Some pics from you would be nice :)

  4. Lol! Well good to know it works…i mean realllly works. I’m a guy with long eye lashes. I would donate mine to you if I could because they do nothing for me but shed and get stuck in my eye all the time.

  5. I had the same problem! My father who is quite wealthy sent me to a clinic in Dubai that specializes in superficial womens cosmetic surgeries. They practice a rather ground breaking treatment called Analosca Transplant. What they do is remove the fibrous hairs that directly line the anus and I do mean anus, the hairs that literally border the hole. Then they implant them on the lower lid, its odd but the Drs told me they have not perfected the process of upper lid attachment so I have to beg my “daddy” to send me back to see those yucky Arabs again next year.
    Anyways, the effect is dazzling, my eyes are so breatakingly beautiful and I am so proud and cant stop looking in the mirror, I am beautiful and please no stink eye jokes k?!

  6. I love you Margaret and I’m not just saying that! I’m an adopted Korean and I swear you are my lost sister. You look just like me. I bet you’ve heard that b4. Anyway are you ever coming to Boston b/c I need to see you. Don’t worry I’m not a stocker just very much into you. I don’t have any Korean friends b/c I grew up around whities all my life. Not that that is bad just a little lonely. I love your story about the eyelashes b/c I’m getting married in June and am getting extensions b/c the lady doing my makeup said I need to open my eyes more!! HAHA No shit sherlock! I’m trying the loreal eyelash serum and so far so good. Well I won’t take up anymore space. Love ya Lots, Joy

  7. oh damn!
    I’ve heard about Latisse and know what you’re saying about sparse, short asian eyelashes.
    I didn’t ‘have’ bottom eyelashes for years but then again and looking at my mothers short, stubby eyelashes thought I was resigned to my fate.
    I haven’t tried Latisse due to cost BUT found that when I started using good eye makeup remover, it seemed to give my lashes strength to grow.
    Then I read about using a dab of olive oil…now my bottom lashes are growing in AND the top lashes are getting longer!
    Now they push my glasses, which requires some adjustment, but its great!
    I’ve got nice eye lashes finally, at the age of 25!

  8. I have short eyelashes too! I wanted to try it but got scared since commercials always give side effects! Now I will because I want to look like wolfgirl, but at least my asian eyes will be pretty.

  9. I used to dye my blonde eyelashes black because I have unfortunate lower eyelids that touch my lower lashes all the time and upper lashes when I blink, and when I smile, waterproof or no…Hello raccoon.

    You can buy special dye for your eyelashes but the shit is seriously like chemically frying your eyeball like an egg. I have no idea how its okay to have on the market. There was a big warning on the side to not try to do it to yourself, but I also ignored said warning figuring I could do one eye at a time and keep the other one open.

    No such luck, it was all burn! and a little charred looking for a couple days. I finally got tired of my bi-monthly eye centric beauty torture and put the box in the back of my medicine cabinet.

    Lattise sounds great, but I don’t think it makes your lashes darker.

  10. I use 2 different mascaras. (I am too broke to afford expensive stuff)

    First of course I would curl my lashes. Then I put a microfiber base coat several times to achieve desired length (don’t go totally overboard though) – this can be found on one side of some mascara like Lash Extend by L’Oreal. Next, I would use another mascara called Maybelline Lash discovery, mostly towards the base and waterline to plump up the lash itself. And finally, I use a regular mascara of choice. I usually prefer a waterproof mascara (but sometimes I actually carefully coat the lashes with a liquid liner, like Jemma Kidd, this liner is insanely long lasting and does not budge!).

  11. OMG!!! this is a crazy story!!!!
    i feel for you i have a story of my own… about another beauty treatment…
    I am glad you were able to get your lashes back & you are making me want to try the Latisse! they should be giving it to you for free!
    as for the cheekbone hair.. HOLY COW! hehehee
    thank god for razors & waxing!=)
    BIG HUGS for you my beautiful friend!
    xox
    Bernie

  12. Margaret-
    Be careful with that shiz! I hope you’re exaggerating for comedic effect, cause those drops are strong medicine. I’ve been using it for years in one eye for glaucoma, so I had wacky long eyelashes on one eye before finding out I could put it on my other eyelid! I have the hairy cheekbone too!
    Good luck!

  13. I feel the pain of your scratched eyes. My eyelashes actually started to grow in instead of the normal curl out, so i had to have eyelid surgery done to pull them back out. I also have very sparse, short and straight lashes, too. Is it sad that the Latisse “before” picture looks better than my lashes? I think so. But I’m glad this has worked for you, especially after your traumatic experience!!

  14. Be very careful with that stuff, Ms. Margaret. I used to hock a $100 bottle of eyelash-growing mascara when it first came out in the 90′s. You have to follow the directions. Not kidding. Do remember to GENTLY pluck your cheeks.

    Sometimes, just sometimes, you have to accept the cards the universe dealt you. Just going by what you stated at the end of “Persimmon diet” that you had tried all these crazy diets and such to fit in as a skinny Asian woman, and so now you’re doing the eyelash thing, and not following the directions, Ms. Grrrrl. Hmmmmmm….

  15. Ms. Margaret–

    I used to sell a $100 bottle of that stuff way back when it first came out in the 90′s. You really have to follow the directions on the box. Not kidding.

    Now weren’t you the one who was all down on herself for trying to fit into the mold of the beautiful skinny Asian girl and eating persimmons and shitting herself in her car? Grrrrrlllll…. Please be careful with this eyelash stuff. I don’t wanna have to see you with a red-tipped cane and some glass eyes in your next video. What will your mother say?

  16. Margaret,
    I have short eyelashes, but it’s self-induced as I have Trichotillomania. In middle school I pulled out all of my eyelashes!!! I guess it was better than cutting myself. They are at an okay length now, but not as long as my siblings. Who have gorgeous eyelashes. I’ve used liquid vitamin A or E capsules to help with the regrowth and a clear mascara by NuSkin that has helped too. I am unsure if I want to try out Latisse. I’d rather not deal with the side effects.

  17. Honey, the best thing for your eyelashes is almonnd oil…that will help them grow and curl correctly…

    I LOVE YOU!!! you keep me sane is a counry full of taboos…XOXOXOXOXOXO

  18. Dear Margaret Cho,

    I just finished reading your book, ‘i’m the one that i want’
    you are absofuckinglutely INCREDIBLE. I found almost every single thing you wrote in there inspiring and close to heart as a 2nd generation korean american.
    And I have a weird obsession with beautifully curled eyelashes, must give latisse a try after finishing the fake version i got for half the price…. anyway

    GO GIRL!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  19. Dear Lady Cho,
    Do be careful with that stuff. Yeah it do work, but it can permanently stain the whites of your eyes. Also, id you ever stop taking it, your eyelashes with go back to being short. Just had a lady in my salon last week crying to holy hell about her freckled eyes & short lashes. Course she a drunk. So those spots i seent coulda been the last sober bits of her fashion sense cuz hoegurl was tore up from the flo up!! What wit her Uggs n juicy sweats & 3 layers of Ed Hardy Tank tops… LOL!!! Anywho… just sayin. Loves!!
    CHi~~~

  20. I love you website, who would not love the Koi fish. Oh back to eyelash’s mine are really long and the just cover my vision most or fall of and get stock in my eye no fun at all…….umm very pretty but a pain wether short or long i am sure.
    Love my asian friend and their short lash.

  21. Have you guys ever heard of noveau eyelashes. Perfect long eyelashes stay on for about 6 to 8 weeks depending how you take care of them. Its beautiful and stunning results. They clue them on one by one and takes up to about 2 hours. It cost me around 100 euro’s but its worth it

  22. You are awesome! I luv luv luv you on Drop Dead Diva. Can’t wait for the next season………there is one right???? :)

    Well, I am Korean/Samoan and I too suffer from the short lashes or lack thereof. I’ve been trying to figure out for years if it was a defect but I guess it is common among us Asians. Oddly, my sister has beautiful long and full lashes. Good to know that I’m not alone and that there remedies to our problem :)

  23. Hey Margaret! You don’t need to spend so much on the Latisse. If you do some research, Lumigan (the glaucoma medication) has the same exact ingredient in Latisse, which the chemical name for it is actually called Bimatoprost. I buy the generic form of Lumigan called Careprost on Inhousepharmacy.biz It’s about 30 dollars and works just as well. I had no lashes before and now people say I have drag queen lashes.

    You’re amazing, take care =)

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