David Duke Cock

John Mayer is deeply sorry, and everyone is accepting it. Our society allows racism in people as long as there is an apology after. It’s better if it is tearful and really should be accompanied by an icon like Rev. Al Sharpton or Bishop Desmond Tutu in your corner, like they have your back. Like they are gonna notarize your ‘hood pass.’

I am angry about the hateful word he used. And I am super mad about the other thing….What does it mean that he has a “David Duke cock?” Is that supposed to mean that women of color are not sexy and beautiful? That women of color are unfuckable to him? That is rude and disgusting and I don’t care if his music is good (I don’t know it well, so I can’t say. I only love Jon Brion and Garrison Starr and Ani Difranco and Grant Lee Phillips and Tegan and Sara and Cypress Hill and Billie Holliday and Doria Roberts and Fiona Apple and Joan Armatrading and MIA and The Cliks and Miles Davis and David Bowie and Ben Lee and Susie Suh and Rachael Yamagata and Andrew Bird and I don’t know much about how John Mayer sounds).

What I do know, is to say you have a ‘David Duke cock’ is demeaning to women of color. What I know is it’s a slap in the face to all beautiful women of color. And I must say, it’s hard enough to be a woman of color in this world and feel beautiful. It’s hard enough to live in this skin and feel good without having rock stars saying that you are not worthy. We feel unworthy enough. Society tells us enough we are not worth it, by not including us in anything. By not showing us in our glory. We are not presented in the movies or TV as much as beautiful desirable creatures. We are barely shown at all. And then you – John Mayer – rock ‘god’ tell us that we are not fuckable? I don’t care if you don’t want to fuck me. But keep this to yourself. Keep the idea that you don’t like to fuck women of color to yourself. Keep it from our ears because we don’t need to hear that the man who would say “your body is a wonderland” really only means it if our bodies are white, if our hair is blonde. If we are Jessica Simpson. And only if we are Jessica Simpson.

Keep this from the ears of all the young beautiful young girls who love you, who have your posters on their walls and now are looking at those posters and feeling weird because they are not white and now your music, which they so loved, makes them feel bad inside. Like you don’t love them. Like you never did. Like if you saw them you would look the other way. Like they’d be invisible to you because they are not white. These young girls who are not white – they loved your music so much and you are paying them back for it with arrogance and blistering hatred that you don’t even know would hurt like it did. I am glad not to have known your music before this and been a fan of it, because if I loved you before and you said that, it would make me hate myself even more than I do already. This revelation of yours would have crushed me. If I was a young fan of yours and you said that it would hurt me so much. Thank god I am not. Was not. But I am hurting now for the many many many many many young girls who are fans of yours. You wounded them and they will never be able to heal. Ever. I hope you read this. I hope you think about this part of it. it’s not been talked about in press. But I hope you know that part. The young girls who love you who are not white. Think about them. So it keeps you from doing it again.

I try to think about Duran Duran, and how I loved them and how they always had women of color as objects of desire in their videos. In “Hungry like the Wolf,” Simon was chasing down a beautiful black/asian mixed girl. In “Rio,” she was latino with curvy hips and black hair and a bright bright smile. If they’d said something back then like what you said John Mayer, I would have killed myself. I would have died. If they said only white girls got them hard, it would have been the end of me.

It’s sickening to think that we can exist in a world where these words of hate can be cast off quickly without repercussion or blame. People forget. But that doesn’t make racism go away. It infuriates me because I can’t cast off my ethnicity with an apology. These are people who have never been discounted because of their race. They’ve never been left out of a comedy show because they’ve already got an asian or a gay or a woman. They’ve never been passed over for a part because the producers decided not to ‘go ethnic.’ They’ve never had to endure the invisibility that people of color live with on a daily basis.

I am so used to being invisible it stuns me when people pay attention to what I say. I am so used to blending into the scenery that it’s shocking that anyone cares what I do. I am so used to people looking at me like I am ‘the help’ that it doesn’t even bother me. I just stay there and I try to help. And I don’t care. These stars who toss about racist hateful speech have never felt what it feels like to be called something hateful – that they cannot deny. They’ve never been in that situation, when you are a victim of hate, but you have to agree. That is what racism is. What hate speech is. Why it’s so terrible is that the word you may have called me – it’s correct, in your racist estimation. It hurts because its meant to. That is why we don’t use those words. Because of the history and the pain and the shame and the tears and the rage they have caused.

Even though I love Lenny Bruce, I do have to say, I disagree when he says that these words can’t hurt you. I think they do. They hurt me. When people use hate speech, it hurts me. It hurts even though I am not that particular race. It hurts because I know what it feels like to be in an inescapable skin. I can’t escape this color. I can’t be the right color. I can never.

It could be hard too for those who are not ‘of color.’ I am never going to be white, and I’m never going to know what it feels like to have the responsibility of not being a racist. I guess I feel bad for white people sometimes because they do have to watch what they say, but then again, it really doesn’t matter does it? Michael Richards is back on tv, and it’s cool. Everyone’s forgotten his terrifying, violent rant that to me sounded like what klansmen would say before they lynched someone in the 30s. I don’t know him, and I don’t know personally that he’s a racist. All I know is that in the two times that I have seen him in public, close enough to touch, he has been screaming at someone, and those people were not white. I guess he was sorry because he got caught doing what he normally does and it was on TMZ and it made him look bad to the world. He was super sorry about it. Way super sorry. And that is nice that he was sorry. He even went to Mexico behind it, as if there was some special retreat for racists there where you could read bell hooks and Angela Davis and Cornel West all day and think about what is wrong with you and right with them.

Dog the Bounty Hunter never left the small screen. His racism was kind of just buried under that amazing mullet. I don’t know if he is racist, but I think his hair is racist.

And Mel Gibson never had to stop making movies. He is even in a big one now. Really big. And no one mentions a thing.

Does racism hurt your career or is it good for it? I don’t know. If I was white, I think I would try to be as racist as possible because it keeps you current. Keeps you relevant. People will tweet about you more. People will be outraged but you’ll still be on the homepage of Yahoo and everyone will want to know exactly what you said, when you said it, and how you said it. And aint that showbiz?

93 thoughts on “David Duke Cock

  1. JC says:

    For example,

    “Dog the Bounty Hunter never left the small screen. His racism was kind of just buried under that amazing mullet. I don’t know if he is racist, but I think his hair is racist.”

    Wow, within the space of two lines you go from the very serious accusation of racism to the admission that you don’t actually have any proof to support that charge. Nice work Margaret, way to discredit yourself. How much faith can I put in your judgement and perception now? If you are going to live by the sword, you had better be prepared to die by it.

    —————————————————————–

    Dog The Bounty Hunter repeatedly called his son’s girlfriend (a Black woman) an offensive term over and over in a recorded conversation. You can do an internet search of the recording.

    If you’re going to argue Margaret’s words, you should do so informed.

  2. “JC says:
    2/15/2010 at 5:57 pm

    Perhaps a more nuanced approach to your commentary would be advisable in the future. Recognize that if I were to give a sexual preference for one skin color over another that does not by default means I am a racist, even if I use insensitive language that you find offensive. What it does mean is that humans are a beautiful panoply of differing tastes and visions. Care to explain the hate in that?”

    John Mayer has no fucking tact or class, is what it is. It’s not so much WHAT he said so much as HOW he said it. It wasn’t just “I’m not sexually attracted to black women” but “My penis is a white supremacist”. It’s not “I think black people like me” but “I can throw around the N word! Look how in touch with the colored folks I am!”

    We *all* have preferences and tastes. But we’re not *all* celebrities either. John Mayer was someone’s role model, their idol, before this. He lives in the spotlight. What he does and says will have a much larger impact on his fans than Joe Schmoe the Racist down the street says to his friends.

  3. What Alex said above bears repeating (and repeating, and repeating, and repeating – since some whites can’t seem to hear this clearly enough)–

    The difference is: Jokes about white people have never, EVER prevented a white person from finding housing, being hired for a job, being safe from police/state violence, being admitted to a school, etc. No one hears a joke about white people and then goes out and OPPRESSES white people. The evidence of this? White people are NOT OPPRESSED.

    And, “They’d be killed?” Really?!?!? Did you type that with a straight face?!?! How dare you? Margaret just provided you with several examples of white people who have made racist remarks in public and are still walking around– not only very much ALIVE but still making that paper. Meanwhile, people of color DIE in this country EVERY DAY as a result of systemic racism.

    The very definition of white privilege: Being able to read an eloquently phrased response to racism– one that speaks to the deep hurts experienced by the writer– and then responding with “WHAT ABOUT MEEEEEEEE? I am a victim of racism TOOOO!!

  4. I was raised in a multi-racial household and I grew up being able to make distinctions and comparisons that very few of the people I encounter are able to make. Even in a room full of people of color there are distinctions that each and every one of us has and we can identify each other as individuals this way.

    John Mayer saying he has a “David Duke” Cock… however is just plain stupid. Who in their right mind would find that description even remotely attractive.

  5. You are always so on point, so right, and so excellent at explaining these things in a way that makes it easy to understand, makes it so clear. It would take me forever to explain to some people I know what’s wrong with that interview – I mean *forever*, and not just because of their own racism but because it would take me that long to articulate all of this that you just got right down to.

    Damn. I love you, Margaret Cho. You are amazing.

  6. Nice essay.

    But, I think the notion that these celebs who say offensive things get off scott free or have bettered their careers, isn’t exactly true. Mel Gibson is not seen in the same way he used to be for many reasons, and one of the main ones is because of his anti-Semitic remarks. And, trust me, although John Mayer’s career will go on–most who buy his music are not Black, he WILL be feeling the impact of these comments in little ways that will prove painful for him for the rest of his career. I have no doubt about this. This will haunt him and his image in ways he never could have anticipated.

    I just read some group will be protesting outside one of his upcoming concerts, too.

    Whenever I think of him now, I will think “Mr. David Duke Dick”.

  7. I’m not a woman of color, but I could not have been more offended by what John Mayer said. The things he said in his playboy interview were shocking, irresponsible, thoughtless, and ignorant. Degrading and disgusting. Offensive to me as a woman.

  8. I, for one, am grateful the man said what he did because now I know he’s a dumb racist and I’ll never spend a dime on his music. And yes, the father’s/daughters song was creepy now that I think about it…

  9. “I am glad not to have known your music before this and been a fan of it, because if I loved you before and you said that, it would make me hate myself even more than I do already.”

    You hate yourself…? You spend so much time on here talking about self-love – do you actually hate yourself, or were you being melodramatic to aid the post?

  10. You know, Margaret, this sounds like a Y.P. It’s not the world’s job to change to spare your delicate sensibilities. It’s your job to learn to let this shit roll off of you.

    Your complaining here is really no different than Sarah Palin complaining about a stupid joke on Family Guy. Do you really think John Mayer was seriously saying his dick was racist? Do you really think John Mayer is a racist? It was a joke…a bad one, kind of like your stuff about \The Gay\. Only it’s cool when you do it…and not when…he…does it? Again, Sarah Palin.

    Holy shit — \Margaret Cho IS Sarah Palin. Coming this Fall to HBO.\

  11. Hi Margaret, the guy calling himself John Q, as if he’s John Q public, is largely, wrong. On one hand, sure, we have to work with crap so it doesn’t destroy us. On the other, John Mayer’s comments are in no way a joke, and whatever he may think, I bet his African American collaborator Steve Jordan’s not laughing right about now. Nor is my dear friend who is a Japanese woman, Nor am I and nor are you because we are ‘humourless’ indicating, dried up. This is an attitude that women have put up with for long enough. One great John Mayer tune is ironically called \Waiting On the World To Change.\ Well, obviously we ain’t waitin’ on Mr. Mayer to change his ignorant ways, and I’m a fan of his ability as a player for sure. No longer will I make excuses for idiots who are fucked up and foist it upon us.

    Good for you for speaking out for justice. There’s a saying, \nam myoho renge kyo,\ meaning, devotion to the mystic law of cause and effect. One must speak out even if one stands alone. You are not alone, girl. You are the vanguard and the future. It’s like the Dixie Chicks in \Shut Up and Sing,\ that documentary that shows how they lost their right wing following and gained the world. John Q doesn’t speak for but a small segment, or at least a small minded, segment of the public. Don’t you love how people try to excuse ignorance as a ‘joke,’ this is the ethos of our world now. Boundaries? What boundaries?

  12. First: I have to applaud you Margaret for taking the time to fully express the depth of pain that is the experience of the woman of color. There is much, much more to it than can really be put down here too! But thank you for being so honest and vulnerable.

    Wow… As an African American, gay woman, I am hurt and offended on several levels regarding JM’s AWFUL comments in that article. How dare you think it is okay to express such bigotry and ignorance as to suggest that you have a, excuse me for even repeating this: “hood pass?!!” Or a “David Duke Cock!” What the fuck was this guy thinking? That no one would ever read this shit? Wow…

    There is never a reason for hatred, and I agree most with Margaret saying if that’s the way you feel inside, keep that shit to yourself!!! No one needs to take in another person’s (regardless of whether it’s racist, sexist, bigoted, elitist or otherwise) ignorance. Think what you will, and unfortunately, too many of us still hold antiquated, uninformed, inexperienced opinions about one another, but we can all control our mouths! It is totally disheartening that “some” (mainly White) celebrities are chastised for spouting off racist, anti-gay, ridiculousness and then, once the dust settles, getting right back to extremely profitable work. I think, a cold, hard lesson needs to be learned… The kind that can really only be learned by a good, old-fashioned “boycott.” Remind Mr. Mayer that the folks who supported his career and rise to all-out assanine behavior will not tolerate such bafoonery! I personally, will NEVER spend one dime on any music associated with him. Nor will I support television shows that he is featured on, or read another magazine article about/interviewing him. Period. Perhaps once his ratings truly fall short and his pockets begin to wear a bit thin, he will really understand the implications of the word… “sorry.” I’m so sorry Mr. Mayer, but it’s a new day, and you’re ignorance is not welcome nor will it be tolerated. Period.

  13. Hey Margaret,

    Sounds a bit whiny to me. All the guys I know fantasize about beautiful + talented Asian women. The white girl-next-door is filler for movie night.

    Msweet

  14. Amazing blog post, right on point. I like how you say something, even though there is a risk to what you say, because the reality is that people nowadays make it impossible to have a serious conversation about a very serious subject. I have so much respect for you, just because you say things that are difficult to say, but you say it anyway. Because sometimes the truth hurts.

  15. We all have our preferences but it is the way that John Mayer expressed his that were so incredibly offensive. I agree with you that an apology does not make up for it. I disagree that as a public figure he should not be able to express his preferences. If he had said that he prefers blondes, would that have been offensive? Do all “rock gods” need to represent everyone equally in order to avoid being racist? He is not responsible for the way that all women of color feel. He is responsible for having tact and consideration for others. He clearly had none when he expressed such racist and offensive sentiments.

    One additional small point: John Mayer wrote and recorded “Your Body is a Wonderland” long before he had a relationship with Jessica Simpson or even Jennifer Love Hewitt.

  16. I love you Margaret Cho…don’t ever change for anybody!

    I think racism, even subtle and sugar-coated racism, is DISGUSTING. I am a white girl, but I work at a Korean company (in a Ktown in NJ)…and I can’t stand it when some of the white people at my job think it’s okay to make those \subtle\ racist comments that, on the surface, don’t SEEM racist….but they are.

    Keep being awesome Margaret Cho!!!! ^_^

  17. John Mayer also made the comment in his recent Playboy interview where he discusses his David Duke c@#k:

    “would break your heart like a white girl”

    What does that even mean??? Does that mean that you can only have deep feelings of love and companionship with a white woman? That sexual relationships with women who are not white are only shallow or for kinky kicks? That you can’t be truly emotionally attached to a woman who is not white?

    I hate this pseudo-ironic self-aware hipster crap. Pick up a book!

    Hey John, like you told Jessica, YOU look better with your mouth closed!

  18. First of all, I love you. You’re my favorite female comedian. 🙂
    Second of all I loved the article. It was thorough and hilarious. The part about Dog just about made my day. And lastly, I feel sorry for racist people. Usually means they were brought up to be racist and so it’s a vicious, endless, unnecessary cycle of hatred that was put upon them by the people who are supposed to love them unconditionally. Sorry my friends, that’s not love.

  19. Thanks for saying it Margaret. As a gay asian male I hear stuff like this all the time, and it makes me feel better to read from someone who can empathize.

  20. Beauty should be judged by what’s on the inside, not the outside. It’s disappointing and disheartening when people remind you of just how fickle, shallow and judgemental they are.

    The world would be so much better without prejudice against race, gender, age, sexual orientation, social status etc.
    If John’s waiting on the world to change he should realize that he needs to set a leading example to others.

    On the bright side of things I think we’re all greatful for the likes of people like Margaret. She has the strength to speak her mind, is opinionated, a powerful positive influence on those around her and she is just remarkable. I greatly respect the message she got across in her Revolution tour.

    Margaret, you’re amazing, beautiful, intelligent and such an inspiration! We love you! xxxx

  21. Margaret Cho, I love you for saying this. I wasn’t able to really put it into words, as a black woman who adored John Mayer’s music until his ignorance gave me pause, but you put it very eloquently. Thank you for giving voice to women of color fans of so-called rock “gods” who get to escape their hurtful words with tiny, insignificant apologies. You are a goddess.

  22. mag cho you are one of those unfortunate asian americans…. too young to remember and connect with the radical praxis of the civil rights movement, too old to understand how asian racialization today is compellingly global and invigorating if understood in the correct milieus of post-colonialism, trans-nationalism and radical socialist feminism. asian am ethnic studies should go further in dubbing this generation our “lost generation” but in less polemic fashion we’ll call asians like m.cho “post civil rights asians” or “80s asians”

    80s asians deftly combine the worst components of both intersecting categories- all the self absorbed, entitled, multiculturalist assimilationist rhetoric of the 80s, and all the overt/covert desires to be part of mainstream whiteness. 80s asians privilege their exploitation above real oppression (like poor blacks or other poor Asians) because they are privileged by class complain about race and gender penalty without so much as a nod to the reason why race and gender penalty still persist (because of how we treat our most degraded classes).

    rich aoki, japanese, one of the first members of the black panthers party had something to say about why he was involved in a predominantly black, working class movement despite his race- it was that the black working class were the “front lines” of this war of racism and that people of color, you and me, mag only win the war by subsuming our own complaints about inequality in service of our most degrade classes, the poor, the voiceless, the abused.

    ms. cho a lot of your writing is about asians in the industry. i use to think the same way as you, i wanted to get in screenwriting because i thought all it took was the will, the hard work to get asians on screen. you realize the further you go, the more of yourself you have to give up. pretty soon you wake up completely co-opted. i sense this to be the ultimate tension in your career. the problem is that hollywood is a white supremacist, race making institution.

    it creates a specific reality, a white supremacist, neo colonial reality, every attempt to work outside to change that institution from within is the same as trying to get korean words into the oxford dictionary- the korean words even in romanized form are still not english words; they will never be in the oxford dictionary no matter how hard you try and how many tweed jacketed elbows you rub up against.

    for example, in dealing with john mayer, the subject of his dick, his subtle espousal of racial purity are somewhat red herrings. the question we should be asking ourselves is why we care how white people think of us? why is it important for WOC to feel desired in the “white gaze”, WOC should feel perfectly desired by the “colored gaze”, but of course this colored gaze is inadequate… it does not fully legitimize the fragmented WOC body, especially an asian body that is both the site of so many contradictory reactions, hypersexuality, naive-coquettishness, derision, fascination, disgust and exoticism.

    the real answer is creating parallel institutions- parallel institutions of desire and culture. why is it that kung fu films did so well, why are so many hong kong films secretly about colonial struggle? because they tapped into an alternate reality of power just as real as white power (a few black pajama wearing rice farmers repelling the greatest military power since rome, with bamboo sticks and old soviet guns) … bruce lee created an anti-anti-hero, an asian good guy not another fu manchu villain. he was able to change because the greater context was looking for someone like him, young radicals were building up their communities, and the global scene looked like it was vigorously rising up against white supremacist, anti-colonialism, civil rights, the cold war, strike, violence, revolution. the 80s came and erased most of those gains and especially and most tragically the notions that people of color can band together to create their own opportunities and their own societies and communities.

    instead, and 80s asians have, through their servility, selfishness, apoliticalness, preoccupation with their own sexual insecurities and their paradoxical relationship with white domination have made into reality the eternal struggle to “being adequately accepted in white society”. the painful truth is that we will never succeed in this game they write the rules we play with loaded dice. i find all this complaining about asian racial penalty so disingenuous, narrow minded, self absorbed and not constructive.

    being committed to racial equality means uplifting those most threatened by it. if one is serious about change, then it starts at the grassroots, it starts by extricating oneself from the matrix of white supremacist domination, one that is overly deterministic in terms of race and sexuality, please, get a political education before you start commenting on your race, i implore you, because everything you have built your dreams around (becoming part of the white supremacist entertainment regime) serves only to reinforce the prejudice against us all people of color, even the most exclusively lesbiansy theater mime troupe is still part of the white supremacist matrix when it does not seriously confront race.

    there is no changing the structure from within, you will be co-opted, only the formation of competing structures are viable mechanisms in combating oppression. the vietnamese didn’t win the war by joining the US military, they fired back, bullet for bullet, outside the system of modern rules of warfare (rules that heavily favored those with the biggest guns and bombs). good structures have good foundations, which is why anti-racism against a racist institution is always grass roots. its not as glitzy as a hit tv show ms. cho, it’s not a fun thing to do, it’s a hundred thousand anonymous hands taking apart white supremacy brick by brick.

    a brother in arms

  23. John Mayer is a douchebag. A talented douchebag but clearly a douchebag. Nobody should take anything he says seriously. It does make me sad to think that any young girls of color who love his music may have been hurt by his obnoxious comments. I think there is something racist about not being attracted to someone based solely on their ethnicity when they otherwise meet that person’s aesthetic tastes. Something in that person’s subconscious is telling that person that people of color are different or inferior. Maybe you can’t help feeling that way but if you do you certainly shouldnt boast about it in an interview.

  24. John Mayer is so annoying. He was an ugly pimply faced looser when he was a teen so I don’t know how his head got so big. White guys with yellow fever annoy me too. Ur right tho..John Mayer is f*cked up.

  25. Keep in mind there’s a lot of really stupid people out there. I remember a female friend of my older brother talking about seeing some guys from India speaking arabic and I was all like “what are you fucking stupid, haven’t you ever looked at a globe before and saw that Arabia is about 1000 miles away from India?” (there is a slight chance they were arab speaking Indians but I doubt that). Then again I’ve also called people dumbasses for not knowing what SAC (Strategic Air Command), the group responsible for our nuclear arsenal (over 9000 fucking nukes) during the cold war.

    I really haven’t benefited or suffered from racism in any direct way that I can mention offhand. Maybe it’s I’m white cynic and who thinks he’s more of a general misanthrope than a racist person. My definition of racism is slightly different and often use the term prejudice instead for a variety of reasons.

    Personally, I’ll date a woman of any race, though I have a preference for Latinas and South Asians (India, Sri Lanka, etc.). I think anyone who would kill themselves because some douche singer said he didn’t want to bang members of their race is a pathetic idiot.

    I refuse to use the term “person of color” since it’s ill defined and 9 times of 10 is really just referring to people who aren’t white; that’s crap because a) the experiences of various non-white (keep in mind most white people wouldn’t be defined as white 90 years ago) groups are unique, b) there is nothing that really binds them as a group (is there a common religion of people of color, language, nation state, etc?) and c) it’s just a fucking reversal of the offensive term colored person.

    Hell Asian is a stupid term if you really think about it; one word to describes 2 billion people with one term (that was mostly chosen by American who arbitrarily decided for those 2 billion people what they would be called with little democratic input) in spite of them being of extremely different religions, cultures, and languages. I remember an argument with a guy in a class on Asian Americans (I think it was over whether “Oriental” was an offensive word and that “Asian” should be the accepted one) and he kept on referring to asians as “we” and I eventually asked “who is this we you keep referring to, what are Asians the borg now, all one consciousness?”

    Also what is “white” anyway? Europe and Asia are one continent so where does white end and asian begin, I mean, is there a line out there somewhere. What is white thinking as well? Is it a desire to grab a sword, throw on some chain mail, jump into a long boat, and start pillaging villages? Though I must admit I find the idea of crushing my enemies under my heel and making the rivers run red with their blood very appealing.

    And that is enough insanity for one post, good day.

  26. cho, you systematically made me hate asians with this stupid essay. congrats, there’s now one more racist in this world thanks to you. keep fighting that good fight ya ugly chink bitch.

  27. Oh so it’s perfectly ok for a gay person to say they are not attracted to the opposite sex, but for a straight white person to say they aren’t attracted to black people is somehow morally objectionable? Basically you’re saying one form of discrimination is justified and another is not, even though they are both on the same par. You are such a predictably irrational liberal extremist.

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  29. To say you feel it is demeaning because a white man doesn’t want to sleep with you is just plain STUPID!!! Why do you even identify yourself in such a way? Do YOU think you aren’t good enough for them? I’m white and if an Asian, Black, or whatever , doesn’t want to sleep with me ; who cares? I sure’s hell don’t! Like I said , I do NOT identify myself by who wants to SLEEP with me! Just STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!

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