Summertime Pride Flirting Guide

It is that time of year again, and the stakes are higher this year because California has lifted the ban on gay marriage. People are cruising for keeps, and it is going to be a HOT summer. I am married already, so I am not looking for another partner, but the sport of flirting is all about looking, and so for me, everyone is up for grabs!! Flirting is fun, and I am seriously one of the best, so I want to share some of my secrets for a sexy, flirtatious, fun, PROUD summer!

1) Add 15 minutes of cardio to your workout. I don’t know why this helps but it does! If you don’t want to do this, just up your reps. Or just pretend that you did both and wear something short/tight/nonexistent…

2) Surround yourself with people who are already in love with you or have been in love with you and are over it but still like to hang out. This is very important. The way you interact with people has a great deal to do with how you feel about yourself. The collective gaze that you find yourself in must flatter you, make you feel gorgeous and perfect and loved. It is better than makeup and even more important than good lighting. Make sure your target can see you having a really good time with your friends. Be sure to laugh and throw your head back a lot and show your teeth.

3) Nobody is beyond your reach. Remember that you are the most beautiful creature and if they don’t seem to be into you, they are just shy! If you see someone you like but don’t know, don’t hesitate to approach them. Do it right away, because if you think about it for too long, you will lose your nerve, it will become too intimidating and scary because as the seconds pass, you start thinking too much about how you will come off. Just do it. Remember #3.

4) When you do go up and talk to someone, try starting with a light yet playful opener. For example, “Want to get married? Let’s just get married now and work out the relationship stuff later. Like I’m thinking honeymoon first – then let’s get to know each other…” This is a good opener because it is funny, sexual, aggressive – but also so aggressive that it is non-committal. This is a common ploy of mine – be so aggressive that no one can take you seriously, even though you are totally serious in your own way. Another good opener is a fake breakup: “You know, it is really not going to work between us. Your eyes/ass/whatever are too nice. It is going to get in the way of US.” This is a good opener too because you are subtly rejecting them before they have a chance to do anything – so naturally, they are going to try to get back into your fake good graces. Slightly devaluing someone is better than compliments – it puts you in an authoritative position right away – just don’t over do it! No insults or racial slurs!!

5) Conversation is easy – you say something, they say something. Don’t let it scare you! Just remember, everyone is scared. We are all scared all the time of each other and ourselves. This world is meant for the brave, and it is hard because everyone starts out terrified – everyone is born afraid.

6) The other important thing to remember is after you start a conversation with your target, do not walk away too fast. This is where most people falter in flirting. They work to get someone interested and talking, and then they get nervous and make an excuse to get another drink or go to the bathroom. don’t do this. If the conversation lags, just stand there. Take a moment to look into the eyes of your target. Maybe share a secret smile. Don’t act as if the silence is awkward or anything other than what it is – nature – and that is the secret to all of it.

Flirting is nature – mother nature taking its course. This is how I can get away with as much as I do. I put it down to nature. I am just following my flirting nature – propagating the species (sort of – well, not making babies, but certainly pulling more than a few out of the closet). I blame my flirtatiousness all on nature – it is the call of the wild! It’s not my fault!! There’s so much more…I really should write a book on this…

16 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. Most importantly, SMILE. Nothing is more inviting than a great smile. I totes agree on the putting out a great energy thing, too. If you love yourself, it emanates even if you’re not perfect. Have a lazy eye, wear glasses. Have a gut, accentuate your breasts. Have a wart, throw some glitter on it. Nobody’s perfect.

  2. Yes, Margaret. You SHOULD write a book on this. I too am happily partnered and love the joy of flirting. It makes everyone feel good, it wakes people up. You ooze the juice of the flirt. I would buy your book in a breakbeat.

    That is so true about traveling with company who adore you. It is like riding in a smooth phenomenally built vehicle instead of riding a crowded bus and falling on grumpy strangers.

  3. Please please please write a book about this!

    I would buy it, even if I’m practically married … we all need to be reminded how to flirt and why to enjoy it!

  4. My problem is that under stress, I have an unfortunate tendency to just be myself. My dry spell is measured in years, not months.

    I do have one tip though. If you say something that makes you sound insane, dangerous or merely very odd, follow it up with “Do you want an apology for ethical relativism?” If they say no, make an excuse and leave. If they say yes, apologize then propose. You don’t have to propose marriage but propose something.

  5. I don’t give a shit if you’re already married, Margret. Let’s get married and start a polygamy colony in Utah! No children will be involved, though.


  6. How’s this for aggressive and slightly devaluing?

    We’re polyamorous, and my wife and I would love to marry you, but since polyamory requires honesty, we must say that while we do adore you, we are both really more interested in your very hot husband.


    PS: We are both really hot. I look like what Lenny Bruce would have looked like if he had lived to be my age, and my wife, in uniform, looks just like Kim Jong-Il.

  7. I was feeling a bit down about going to a Pride event this Saturday night. This post was EXACTLY what I needed. Canada Loves You!

  8. No. 6 is really important, even for casual flirting – especially if you feel you’re bad at it and feel awkward. I had a nice flirt at the football game yesterday, but it’s been years and I’m seriously out of practice. *g* Anyway, since I didn’t want it to get any further, in the end after our chat trailed off while we were walking away I just… went home. Without a “nice talking to you”, or a goodbye or anyhting.

    Lame. Lame, uncourteous, and something that will make you even more afraid to strike up a flirty conversation next time. Just don’t do it.

  9. Oh Margaret darling, you made my evening with this post…but what happens when you’re partnered, your flirt-boy is partnered too…but after a few years, you both really want more? That’s when heartbreak sets in. If you’re gonna write the book, Margaret, write that chapter in too. What are we ethical sluts to do???

  10. SMILING is essential.

    A SMILE is like an advertisement or your best marketing tool for the initial flirt.

    I ALWAYS say SMILE…because you never know who might be falling in love with that SMILE.

  11. Please write the book. I’m a few short steps away from being an applied statistician. There is no hope for me if left to my own devices.

  12. I like your style as it applies to females…some of the things you say are more suited for women or course…a man applying some of the principles like rejecting a woman before she has a chance to respond, won’t work as well if a man does it. This is because the way our society weights the expectation of male to female approaches or initial contact. It will more likely come off as rehearsed and cheesy if a man attempts it.

    For more check out —->

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