Donut Pussy

I had a new procedure called the “G-Shot,” which is kind of like plastic surgery, kind of a body modification – but you don’t see it. It is on the inside. It isn’t something I would necessarily normally do, because I am very happy with my vagina the way it is. It is one of the finest in the world, and really needs little embellishment. It has served me well for many years and there are lots of miles left on it.

I got the G-shot as part of my new VH1 show, “The Cho Show,” which I am filming right now and it is so fucking awesome you are going to just scream when you see it – I am so excited! Anyway, the G-Shot is an injection of collagen into your G-Spot that is supposed to enhance any kind of stimulation there. It is for women who have limited sensation in their vagina, which is me. My puss is more clitoral than vaginal. I am more into the outside than the inside. I am more about display than content. Whenever I go to a party, I tend to hang out on the steps rather than in the house and I never go into the backyard. And to keep the party analogy going, I don’t even have a G-Spot, per say, one place where the party is all centered, but there are lots of smaller events happening all over the area. Mine isn’t a G-Spot. More like a G-Block Party. My pussy is a lot like Coachella. There are a lot of bands hanging around waiting to play.

So I got it done at a fancy Beverly Hills gyno office and it was somewhat uncomfortable. First the G-Spot must be located. The poor doctor had to poke around in there for a long time, and it reminded me of this one guy who was looking for it many years ago, all thumbs in there going “Where’s your spot? Where’s your spot?” It didn’t feel good and I was like, “uh, I usually park on the street.” The doctor came upon an area that felt more sensitive than the other areas (more partying going on there than elsewhere) so she shot up that region with an anesthetic – which was painful!! I needed anesthesia for my anesthesia! It was so prickly and hurting that she had to shoot me up twice with the numbing agent. Then they got the big needle out, which I didn’t feel but looked so scarily long that I thought the end might poke out through my back! OW!!!!

So since then, I haven’t felt any sexual enhancement at all. If anything it makes me not want to do it, which is incredible because I always want to do it – so it doesn’t work as any kind of aphrodisiac, but would be a good punishment for sex offenders. Now my vagina just feels like there is a gel insole in there. Like my cervix is wearing boot socks. I am totally asexual and I feel like I am sitting on a hemorrhoid donut all the time. I really feel kind of bad complaining about the procedure, because the doctor was so nice, and I am all about supporting anything that benefits women and their sexuality. I totally think that the spirit of the thing is cool. Women should feel good in their bodies and if surgery can enhance that, I am all for it. Unfortunately, the G-Shot just wasn’t for me, but it might be for you. There are lots of raves from women about it, and more often than not the results are supposed to be mindblowing, just not for me!

It lasts for four months so I will be at the convent until the swelling goes down.

26 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. First off, I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT FOR THE CHO SHOW! When does it air?!?!? I read about in Entertainment Weekly and almost shit my pants! haha. Secondly, do you think there is a possibility that the shot just isn’t working yet? If not then the sex you have in 4 months will be kick ass. haha. You go pray guuurl! haha.

  2. Hahaha!!! thats sooo funny!!! If only i had a vagina i’d get it done..

    maybe ill make my best friend get it done… i’ll pretend im taking her to disney land and suprise her.

  3. Oh my goodness! The sacrifices you make for art!! My cooch just slammed shut reading that. And then I choked on a mini-egg while laughing at “Like my cervix is wearing boot socks.”

  4. Your show is the first thing that made me even look at getting more than basic cable service so I could see VH1. The main reason I don’t get big cable is that it has little or nothing I want to watch, and I know i would get addicted to surfing it. Then there is the cost. My basic cable is $12.55/mo. To watch the least expensive plan that would give me VH1 is $84.23/mo. That means I would be spending about$840/year to see the Cho Show. I love you, but even love has a price, I guess. I’ll wait and get the DVDs for $40/season. Maybe with the $800 I’ll save, I’ll fly around the country to go to your live performances. I could be a Cho Head!

    And thanks for the heads up on the G Spot “enhancement.” I’m on the program committee of the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture. Your experience may motivate me to produce a panel discussion on sex enhancement fads. Can we quote your blog?

    Si

  5. OWWW! God, my pussy hurts now just from reading that!

    Do you think it’ll work later? Keep us posted. If it REALLY worked, I’d be interested since I’m a lot like you – my clit definitely does its thing but the rest… not so much. I didn’t even learn to orgasm from penetration until I was about 23. Which isn’t THAT late in life, but still, I was relieved that I actually COULD do it. Takes a lot, though and it doesn’t always happen.

    I don’t know if I could handle not being horny. I like being pervy, it’s kind of like a high – you’re always looking around, checking out the goods… even if I don’t actually pursue some of what I’m eyeing, it’s still nice.

  6. A girlfriend had mentioned to me that she only gets off when her outer area is worked, so I told her a technique I learned from the best lover in my life: work the whole internal area instead of concentrating on one spot. It worked for her and I had the satisfaction of knowing I improved the sex life of a couple that had been together for more than a decade! I have no idea why that little gem is not in more sex manuals! In fact, I haven’t read one yet that made that suggestion! WTF?!

    I think the G-Spot is overrated. I’m all for your block party analogy. I have much better orgasms when the whole area is involved as opposed to someone going for just one spot.

    I’m going to be seeing you in Miami in a few days! It’ll be my first live show of yours! I’m super stoked!

  7. freinds don’t let friends have needles shot in their pussies! the thought is just so unbearable. it sounds like one of hitler’s nazi experiments!

    please tell me you didn’t go to the doctor who does lisa rinna’s lips!

    when i masturbate or have sex again, i will have an extra orgasm just for you and send it your way with good thoughts.

    yeah, i’ll take one for the team!

  8. Margaret, I am glad you were honest about your experience, and I hope you don’t mind me saying, please don’t feel badly about complaining about the procedure. I think your authentic response is totally appropriate, and even if the doctor was nice about it, if it hurt, then that SUCKS!

    muah! see you in davis in May!

  9. Just a thought…is this G-shot really FOR women?! or is it for men to make satisfying their partners easier and simultaneous to their own satisfaction? Maybe this is just one more way that hetero sex can become even more phallic-centered.

    I mean, I understand that there could be greater pleasure for women in that area, but why not just stimulate the areas that are NATURALLY pleasurable for them, even if that means that penetrative sex just doesn’t cut it?!

    I think hetero couples just have to get out of their heads that sex is all about penetration and that women should be satisfied with whatever kind of sex gets a man off. I figure, instead of getting the procedure, just tell your partner where you actually DO like it!

  10. OOOOOWWWWwwwwww…. you’re into the pain a bit aren’t you? Um, do let us know if it works though by telling us what a crazy nympho you turn into all of a sudden…. well, turn… back into all of a sudden. sorry, had to. the post was just too funny and i felt challenged as an artist and sarcastic jackass.

  11. I agree with you, got-mar. I showed enthusiasm for the circular motion my ex would use during sex, but he’d always go back to the ole’ in-and-out after a little while. I should have been more assertive about telling him what I liked–because he did seem to care about pleasing me–but he was my first and I felt that he knew more about the whole sex thing than I did. I think women probably defer to men in the bedroom, in part, because they’re supposed to know what they’re doing. However, if women never tell men what they want, how are they supposed to learn what to do to please a woman?

    Also, who said that vaginal orgasms are so much better than clitoral ones? Is it women reporting this vast superiority of one over the other? You make a really though-provoking point in noting the phallocentricism of such an opinion.

  12. Thank you for doing this so I don’t have to, because for a hot second I was curious if I could add vaginal stimulation to my clitoral (…and anal). Too bad for the boyfriend, though it gives me a sick pleasure that the dick is never enough!

  13. Margaret:
    Thank you SO MUCH for posting about the G-Shot. My BFF Nora has been complaining about limited sensation in her vagina. After months of discussing the subject over cocktails without much progress, I cannot wait to tell her about the G-Shot.

    And, more importantly, I cannot wait to watch your new show with my gays!

    All the best with your G-Spot and the show!
    Lulu B.

  14. Instead of women changing their bodies, why don’t people just offer their partners lessons on how to please them? Much more sustainable, even after they are dumped.

  15. Hi Margaret

    It sounds weird (the “G-Shot”, that is). I kept wondering one thing, but you answered my question with the last line- Hope it wears off soon for you…

    Your new show sounds awesome – Any hope of doing an episode or two Down Under? Count me in for the studio audience!

  16. i am ecstatic about your show, i wasnt even aware!
    This shit just made my day, hun, i cant wait, i will definately be watching

  17. Margaret,
    I’ve been a big fan of yours for a long long time. I saw you at Radio City in NY about two years ago, and I remember you talking about your TV show, anal bleaching, and that you’d “do anything to have better sex”. Therefore, I thought of you immediately when I met the film maker of the documentary, ORGASM, INC.

    http://orgasminc.org/about-synopsis.php

    If you haven’t already seen this, I think you should! I think you should also know that the types of procedures that many women are having in addition to G-SHOTs, such as labioplasty, clittoral augmentation, etc, are completely UNREGULATED. They were developed, patented and franchised by this MD/MBA

    http://www.drmatlock.com/MeetDrMatlock.html

    But some plastic surgeons and gynecologists are developing their own procedures outside of the franchise. They require no additional licenses orl board certification to develop these procedures.

    Procedures such as vaginal canal “rejuvenation” prevent women from having natural child birth, but many young women who have this procedure are not fully informed about the risks. Also, because these procedures are fairly new, some of the potential side effects of this procedures are unknown.

    Since I respect you and your work, and I know how supportive you are of women’s and LGBTG’s rights, I urge you to explore this issue further. Clearly this procedure was not helpful for you, and many other women may have the same symptoms as you did, or worse complications! You might find many studies that suggest the benefits of these types of procedures, but what about the costs?

    Thanks for listening, Margaret. Lots of love to you!

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