Chubby

Just read an article about myself where I described myself as “chubby” and I think that it is a fairly unacceptable description, and I want to apologize to myself for saying it, because that is just wrong. I am not chubby – and to call myself that is to endanger the lives of millions of young girls who look to the media to define who they are, who are constantly checking themselves for fear of wrecking themselves, who are afraid to be thought of as “chubby,” who don’t realize that they are perfect as they are, and it is irresponsible. I fear they will read this article and look at my body and be scared because it is like theirs, and they will then think of themselves as “chubby” and learn to hate themselves more. To call me “chubby” is to call a billion women “chubby” who shouldn’t think of themselves as anything less than hot and sexy and curvy and built. I am not “chubby.” I am a real live perfectly beautiful woman, and just because I may be larger than the mostly anorexic female population in Hollywood, it doesn’t make me any less desirable or gorgeous because I like food. I take it back, as I must take back all the millions of insults that I hurl at myself without knowing it. I would never, ever say any of the horrible things I say to myself about myself to anyone else, not even someone I hated, because there is no one I could possibly hate that much. We must stop fighting the war against ourselves before we can truly start to love ourselves. We are not “chubby,” we are perfect. We are beautiful. We are so very very beautiful.

22 thoughts on “Chubby

  1. AMEM Ms.Cho U R SOOOOOO RIGHT ON!!!!!
    Define me as HUMAN …….then …………
    honest open compassionate loving kind devoted interesting enlightened curious and caring WOMAN Mom daughter sister aunt coworker animal lover hiker writer basket collector nature lover driver sports enthusiast art music lover independent positive thinker developing self for the better always…..

    BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!

  2. Banishing negative self-talk is the hardest bastard thing to do ever in the whole world amen. I recently decided to get rid of all the adjectives that are icky: chubby, fat, ample, blah blah blah. I simply replaced them with “I like sammiches.”

  3. I went and saw your show saturday night at the The Orpheum. You were wonderful and hilarious. You know your audience so well. My face hurt from the constant smile upon laughing face. I can’t wait for your VH1 show. And know you are not chubby. You are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. You go Sister! that is the best thing ever, to say sorry to your self for saying false hateful things. I love the name of your tour “Beautiful” and the poster for your tour,it’s wonderful, you don’t see this blonde, very very thin girl and out of place tits, (A girl trying to place herself into someones idea of beauty.)

    Myself being a gay man, the idea of beauty can be very on real. I have been in a light and dark dance about my body over the years, now that I’m 32 I have been finding ways of making peace, allowing myself to find out what beauty is to me. Life is not to be lived in a box, you can’t put beauty, love or joy in a box.

    My hat is off to you Margaret, you are beautiful! You take people to a place we all need to go, outside our own thinking. Thank You.

    l

  5. I love you margaret from your wonderfully dirty mouth to every last beautifully sexy curvy bod dont ever think your anything less than the epitome of woman i see my mother and my sister struggle with themselves and their weight (and i suppose as a gay man i should to but thank god for bears πŸ˜‰ ) and to me they have both been nothing less then 2 of the most beautiful women ive ever met now i just got to get them to listen to you and ill be all set

  6. I must respectfully disagree about the word ‘chubby.’ I think that banishing words like fat and chubby only serves to perpetuate the negativity associated with them. Instead, we should embrace these adjectives–they’re just as good as thin or petite or medium-built. It’s harder for larger girls, but I think it would be a really powerful message for them to see you, a beautiful woman, accept chubbiness and show that chubby can be beautiful.

    A healthy woman is beautiful. A beautiful woman is beautiful, regardless of her size.

    Thank you, Margaret. I really enjoyed your show in San Francisco.

  7. margaret, you can be my clingy codependent dysfunctional best friend any day of the week… not really. insecurity is one of those sexy paradoxes that gives contrast so that we know what true confidence is when we feel it… big hugses.

  8. I’m a large, white, hetero woman who finds you amazing to look at. Chubby? Good Grief…what is wrong with people?

    Thanks for that article…I’m cutting it out for my 16 year old daughter whose self esteem gets trampled on nearly every day at high school.

    Please keep blogging about acceptance, in every form. You are amazing, Margaret.

  9. We need to have accurate, non-pejorative language to describe everything, including ourselves. I’m not necessarily advocating detoxifying chubby the way we have queer, but we should at least run it through that thought process.

    Rather than drop terms that describe real body types, we might work on what the upside to being chubby is and/or celebrate what a chubby person brings to their lovers. (I say lovers because in the workplace, etc, chubby should be irrelevant.) As far as attractiveness goes, it has been noted over and over again that attractiveness emanates from attitude more than physical appearance. As far as sex goes, loving a chubby person, like a lot of other wonderful sensual things, is foolishly disparaged by our sex negative culture. There is nothing like the feeling my body has when it is sinking into the luxurious flesh of a chubby lover, male or female. Yummmm!!!

    The other piece of the puzzle is health issues. I think they need to be looked at carefully. We all need to eat well and exercise. Some people handle more pounds better than others, which may involve both live style and genetics. I want my chubby lovers, but not at the expense of their health.

    My life partner is not only a little chubby, she is 64, and Asian. The other night we went to the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. She remarked that she had not felt so ogled in a long time. Maybe she is dismissed by the general public, but a crowd of sex positive people know a hot babe when they see one.

    Si

  10. It has taken me a long time to accept me for me. To understand that weight does not equal identity and that what people think I eat and what I actually eat is a big difference and holds no bearing in the real world.
    That said, I have become so forward thinking and accepting thanks to two blogs:
    therotund.com and kateharding.net
    they are written by two rad ladies who are so smart and sassy that I love them!

  11. It was being called “chubby” by a concert reviewer that was the catalyst of Karen Carpenter’s downward spiral into anorexia. Its probably jealousy. Shame on you for being successful without suffering like the rest of them to be a size 0 πŸ˜‰

  12. i love the way u just said that. its really true that a lot of young girls like me do define themselves by the media and they are like omg, im too fat or whatever. i see skiny girls who i talk to call themselves it makes me sick cause it actually makes me feel bad and look at myself. and i do really hate it, but then at the same time im like fuck it, i gotta appreciate what my momma gave me, because now i have high self esteem about myself because a lot of boys complement me on my curves, and im happy about my curves and the way i look. just now… moms making me now loose weight cause i kinda gained 20 lbs in less than a year and… some of my jeans wont fit me anymore and she wont buy me clothes soo… yup but i will still be the curvy debanhy who has muscles and thick thighs ^_^
    love ya!

  13. I only just stumbled upon this.

    I call myself chubby all the time because that’s what I am. I’ve got this butt that sticks out like a table, meaty thighs that touch all the way down to my knees, wobbly arms, a little double chin and a pot belly. I’m too big for the biggest size in a lot of stores. I am a chub for sure.

    I call myself this because it’s such a compliment. I love to eat, I love how I jiggle and how I roll over my waistband. My chub is hotter than hell and fun to squish. I love it.

    I’ve tried being skinny – oh how I’ve tried – and I looked sick and I felt unhappy. So thin is not my ideal, because ‘thin’ means starving myself, living up to the expectation of others and still not feeling normal.

    ‘Chubby’ is not a dirty word. ‘Fat’ is not an insult. I love all of me – if it grows, if it shrinks – because I am so much more than my clothing size.

  14. I think everyone’s definition of chubby is different though, too, which is unfortunate. I am chubby, and overweight, but I embrace it, and dress for it, and love myself no matter what, because I am fucking amazing. I have spent the last couple of years weaning myself out of a poor self-image caused by seeing myself through a lens that doesn’t exist and into a wonderfully positive self-image that people I envy for their bodies wish they could harness. It’s been that proverbial hard and long road, but I think I’m about there.

    Any man would be lucky to be with me (you, her, them), and the sooner we realize that, the sooner they will.

  15. Errr, I should say “people I HAVE ENVIED for their bodies” — because now it just doesn’t really matter to me since I am perfect the way I am! =)

  16. I am short and I don’t look good skinny. I’ve tried it. I actually like being chubby. I think I will just own the word, as you did in your original article? It actually feels good being and saying “chubby” to me b/c I my body feels so good chubby and it makes me think of being more laid back and comfortable. I feel so good when I don’t limit myself so much on eating the way I used to try much harder to do. It just didn’t look or feel right on me not having any meat on my body and also I just really like to snack at least once in a while just for fun. For health concerns and to keep myself feeling energetic and healthy to to pursue all of my many passions, I try to eat mainly healthy foods. However, I enjoy pigging out once in a while just for fun. Indulgence in moderation, I call it. Anyway ~ Margaret Cho, I would give the entire left side of my body to look like like you…you are a stone fox girlfriend! Indeed, truer words were never spoken! Love You! XOXO See you in OH.

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