I just got back from Australia, which is really very very far away. Getting back was a lot easier than getting there, for some reason. On the way there, we went from Philadelphia to LA, then from LA to Auckland â€“ which is a long ass flight. No wonder Bjork beat that guy’s ass! I would have opened up a big can of whoop ass on anyone trying to take my picture after that flight. Finally, after a long layover, I flew to Sydney. I somehow missed my ride from the airport so I changed some fairly worthless American dollars into Australian dollars and took a cab to the hotel. There were no rooms available so I had to wait about 5 hours for one to open up. By this time I hadn’t slept for about 72 hours and I was OVER IT! I had been talking to this poor Japanese girl at the desk who had a big “TRAINEE” pin next to her name, and she had tried and tried to get me a room all day, to no avail. I sat in the lobby, smelling exactly like balsamic vinaigrette salad dressing, feeling totally out of it for half a day, just waiting. I couldn’t even read or listen to my ipod or watch anything. All I could do was stare, I was so tired. Finally, at about 3pm, which was official hotel check in time â€“ when they were required by law to have my room ready, I walked up to the desk and asked my TRAINEE, “Do you have my keys?” and a pinched looking British woman said, “Please.” I turned to her and I said, “Itâ€™s ok. She’s my old friend. We’ve been at this all day.” And the TRAINEE looked at her and bowed and giggled in that cute Japanese girl way. The woman said, “I donâ€™t care. It’s still ‘Please.'” I was so mad I almost hit her. I have never come so close to actually hitting someone in my life. My hand actually clenched into a fist! I really had to take a deep breath and calm myself down. I did all 12 steps in my head, then asked myself, “What would Jesus do?” my heart was beating super fast and I unclenched my teeth and my fist and I said, “Thank you for reminding me. I am so tired I am forgetting my manners.” Then she said, “I understand. We are all a bit stressed.” Ahâ€¦ international incident averted!