What’s The Big Deal About Turbans?

What’s the big deal about turbans? Supposedly the Clinton camp sent a picture of Barack Obama wearing a turban out to conservative websites to re-emphasize the false rumors that he is a Muslim, which is pretty low of them, mostly because of some Americans’ misunderstanding and prejudice against the Islamic faith. People just assume all Muslims are terrorists, which is absolutely untrue and completely dumb. Besides, Obama is not even Muslim, he is Christian, and he has spent a lot of his campaign talking about just that. Why should it even matter if he were a Muslim? Our country demonizes Muslims out of pure ignorance and racism, totally ignoring the fact that Christianity and Islam are, in truth, not all that different. God is God. God goes by many names. God, Jehovah, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Spirit, the Universe, the Goddess, Shiva, Kuan Yin, Kali, Oprah – they are all the same.

And religious garments do not somehow make the wearer suddenly a devotee. I wear yoga pants like almost every day and do you think I ever go to class? All this, and that picture was totally taken out of context because it was during a special visit to that country! Like you’ve never gotten drunk in Mexico and donned a sombrero and sat on a donkey! Do you pick coffee beans? I didn’t think so! I like how people act all high and mighty when they have all done the same thing. Plus this clearly wasn’t even a drunken activity, much like the sombrero/donkey situation that many have found themselves in AFTER the fact, after the incriminating false Juan Valdez coffee picking photos were taken and posted as their myspace default picture. The turban worn in the Obama picture was perfectly appropriate for the situation at hand. And wearing a traditional garment when visiting the country of its origin should be seen as a respectful gesture, one that I wish more world leaders would be gracious enough to adopt. It shows a deep reverence for the culture, a willingness to roll with it. When in Somalia, do as the Somalis do….or more like – what happens in Somalia stays in Somalia. Perhaps the rest of the world wouldn’t resent us so much if we gave them some props every now and again!

Besides, turbans can look cute! I have one, but I don’t wear it, because I already have a giant head and the problem with turbans is they can make your head look much bigger than it is. Then also, remembering that the camera adds ten pounds, I would completely exceed the size of anybody’s screen and would only able to be in IMAX movies – and as much as I love Everest, I don’t want to have to limit myself. But for the lucky and small headed, turbans can be smart and glamorous, very Lana Turner – perfect with a ruched pearl white 50s two piece and pearls. Or even a little kooky and crazy like Joanne Worley, matched to your psychedelic caftan on your way to a key party.

6 Comments. Add To The Mix…

  1. While I agree it is silly to pick on Obama for wearing a silly turban, I do have to disagree with your lumping of all religions as just the same old thing. In its apex Christianity was the most violent, repugnant religion on the planet… it had the power and used it any way it wished including murdering and silencing those who happened to think for themselves or had science on their side. Today Christianity is a toothless empty shell of its former self because of things like education, liberalism and democracy. It no longer has the power it used to and has become the ineffectual and silly belief system that it always was.
    Now if you go back a few hundred years, before the reformation and moderation of Christianity to that awful time, rightly called the dark ages, when ignorance and violence rained supreme you will find the religion of Islam standing there with an empty gaze and a thirst for blood. While as an atheist I see all religions laughable and worthy of my contempt for their intellectual laziness, they do not hold violence and repression of women in such high regard.

    There is a fear in liberal circles in pointing out this obvious fact. And rightly so, since the leaders that the Islamic religion has chosen for itself are willing at the slightest honest evaluation of their beliefs of satirical jab to declare death threats on those outside their religion as well as those inside who dare to have a change of mind. If you are a Muslim and you leave the faith you are to be killed. If you speak out against the Muslim faith you are to be killed, and if you represent Muhammad in a drawing or cartoon you are to be killed per Islamic law.

    If you would like to learn more about this I recommend the writings of Ibn Warraq “why I am not a Muslim” and Ayaan Hirsi Ali “Infidel” a man and a woman who live their lives in hiding and in fear after leaving the faith and having the gaul to speak truthfully of the reforms that need to take place if Islam is to be compatible with modern day liberalism and democracy.

    While I appreciate your thought and am a huge fan of your comedy I have to say that if a presidential candidate is a Muslim is a concern to me if he is lying about being a Muslim it is a bigger concern. They way things are in this country that has moved so far from the separation of Church and State that is once held so hi as an ideal you cannot get elected without pretending to be religious.

    I as an atheist will be voting for the candidate who pretends to be the most religious and secretly is the least religious. I’m not sure if we have that in this election, but that is the flaw in our “pretend you have a choice” two party system.

  2. oooops….fashion faux pas! your turban should match your go-go boots and/or your granny-square poncho.

    the caftan stands alone!

  3. Bruce… wtf… the Clinton camp have repeatedly denied that they are behind the release of that photo, she denied it in the debates. The only thing that ties them to that is the Drudge report… are you going to tell me that you thing Drudge is right about anything? That a-hole will lie about anything.

    Don’t spread the lie that Clinton pushed that photo, it’s damaging to the party.

  4. Not only Muslims wear turbans.

    Many Sikhs are singled out and discriminated against because of their turbans. They believe in the sanctity of ALL life, to the point they don’t cut their hair. (Hence the turbans!)

    And that ventriliquist doll, was it Madame? She wore a turban! So did Lucy! Come on!!!

    But all is fair in politics, right? Sigh.

  5. You wearing a turban…you would be a giant head taking over America! HERE COMES THE HEEEAAAAAAAD!!!!!!

    But seriously, the mounting ignorance of Americans when it comes to issues such as these continues to infuriate me. Americans need to learn more about the world in their education, as they only really ever seem to know about America (and even then sometimes their knowledge is limited).

    There are videos on YouTube by an Australian satirical group sometimes known as “The Chaser” from their show CNNNN (where they make fun of American media), in one episode one of the Chaser boys goes to America and asks the general public questions about Iraq and the Middle East – one of the questions they ask are,
    “Should American Muslims have to carry around a special ID or should they have a special ID number tattooed on their arm?”

    …the amount of people who support both these ideas is unbelieable – have people never read about WWII?!?!

    Eh, I know that wouldn’t obviously be everybodies opinion but the fact that there are people who think that way is appalling.

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