I just saw a picture online of Britney’s period stain and I am horrified. I don’t know why they would post a picture of that and I really feel terrible about it. I think that the paparazzi have gone too far. It is just tasteless and barbaric. I am so sorry for Britney and I hope she ok. The only thing I can think of doing to somehow make it better is to say that this has happened to me about a million times.
I am the worst when it comes to period stains. That is why I never move because my mattress is so so so so stained that whenever I change the sheets it just looks like a murder scene. I’m serious. Somebody should put crime scene ‘do not cross’ tape up. It’s awful! I can’t understand any woman who hasn’t had some kind of hot menses mess. Those women are weird and probably perfect, and always get a pap smear every six months, and have never had a weight problem or worried about sitting on a white couch – and they are no friends of mine!
Every month my body completely purges everything it has been holding onto. My periods are heavy, long, arduous – old furniture and books and records come out. Gold coins and anchors and treasures and lace and shoes. It’s like a big clearance sale. Everything must go! That is just the way that I am built. I am just puzzled at the idea of a pantyliner or a regular tampon. I need to stuff half an emergency room in there every 28 days or I am looking at dying everything I own black (here’s a hot tip – if you stain something with your own blood, spit on the stain – your saliva has enzymes that will break it down…unfortunately it has to be your blood and your saliva – you can’t do it for anyone else). When my Aunt Flow comes to visit – the bitch brings presents. All the feminine products I use have “overnight” on the box.
The point here is let she who is without menstrual stains throw the first tampon. Britney is not “Carrie” and Chris Crocker was right – leave her alone!
This post is a shining example of your brilliance because you are one of the few people on earth who can make a heavy menstrual period funny. However, I’m a little concerned for your health. Perhaps you don’t have enough iron in your blood. I had my heaviest periods when I was suffering from anemia, but it was easily taken care of with OTC iron pills and a better diet. I know it could be many other hard-to-spell things, but I hope there is a simple explanation that will keep you happy and healthy.
The pill is always an option too. (God bless Margaret Sanger!)
Britney is a wreck, most women are aware, when it that time of the month.Maybe Dr.Phil can help her with female hygine.”Where are these photos”.
I’ll be the first to admit that I visit Perez Hilton’s site and all those. I can’t help it. It’s literally like an accident scene, I don’t want to look but I do and I feel kind of bad about it but it’s still fascinating.
I was thinking about Britney yesterday while driving home from work and I really think that (consciously or subconsciously), the press WANTS to see her self-destruct. I mean, whether it’s mental breakdown, jail, losing her kids completely or death… they are pushing for it. If all the paps were to leave her completely alone (yes, ala Chris Crocker), you know, I think she’d party a little here and there but basically, she would calm down. She wouldn’t be so wild, at least. The press is fueling her mania and I think she gets off on it… they are fueling a fast and furious mania that they know will reach a disastrous end. They want that. She kind of wants it too. That’s what makes it so sad.
Hi gaw-gus
I got so fucking sick of pads and tampons with their crappy adhesives (like it isn’t horrifying enough to have a waddle producing wad between my legs? It has the propensity to wander too?) and dangling strings. I bought a diva cup and IT ROCKS!!!!!
i concur… diva cup is the best invention EVER! do yourself a favour and pick one up!
Yes! I think I have the same period as you, Margaret! WTF?! Who are these fairy princesses with the pixie dust period? Ugh! I haven’t seen any pics of Brit’s stains…but how awful?! Isn’t it everyone’s civic duty to quietly and calmly take someone to the side (or restroom) and let them know about a stain?! What has our society come to? Thanks for this blog…you rock!
Hi, I am the same way with my period – my whole life. two tampons and an overnight pad wont keep me from leaking. I have to swap my office chair for another at least 4x a year. Anyway when I was pregnant for the first time I found out during an ultrasound that the reason I get such obscenely heavy periods is because I have two uteruses!!! For serious! Sooo… you might wanna get that checked out. Oh and I was told I was LUCKY because some women with this condition get their period 2x a month, can you IMAGINE?! Anyway thanks for giving me a laugh about something that makes me suffer!
My mother had two uteruses, so that’s for real.
Maybe all women bloggers should blog about their period problems — to take the attention and sting away from Britney. Maybe it would just accent it, I dunno. I was never a fan, but I really feel sorry for her now, she’s getting such mean coverage, and is so obviously not equipped to fame in any fashion.
Hey Margaret, I’m going to third the Diva Cup recommendation- they’re eco friendly and you can wear them up to 12 hours. http://www.divacup.com/ 🙂
I found this via jezebel and have never laughed so hard.
i’m with you. but, dear heart, if she didn’t want photos of her bloody thong taken by the paparazzi she could — wear a skirt that didn’t expose both her bloody thong and her buttocks — learn how to get in and out of a car with her knees together — etc.
there’s a school of thought which believes she gives the crotch shots, including bloody panties, on purpose. because it pisses everybody off. that’s her one aesthetic criterion right now. get the girl some help, but don’t blame the problem on others. she has chosen it, she volunteers, not once but every time she leaves the house.
For the first 19 years of suffering my periods (before children) … I had it as bad as Ms Cho. (Average of 5 – 9 days of flash flood of blood!) No matter how “Padded & Protected” as I tried to be, I still stained everything!!! I am glad that she said this … not everyone can just ignore that periods happen, for some women, like myself & Ms Cho, they are (almost) debilitating.
God, Margaret, I totally feel you on that.
I bleed very excessively and try as I might to keep wearing/changing pads fast enough to absorb it, shit…or, rather, blood just happens sometimes.
I even have to sleep on a mat designed for people with incontinence when i’m menstruating. i have no idea how this will affect future relationships I might have.
Britney is going through a horrible crisis in her life, and anyone who makes it worse is acting as a vulture, wanting to destroy her. It’s disgusting. She may be messed up, but I feel sorry for her, because she is a HUMAN BEING, not some kind of public property to be tarred and feathered.
Do you write poetry? That was the most amazing description. Very honest. Very poetic. Your amazing. Thank you.
This turning Britney into some kind of Judas goat says more about the people writing and reading it than about Britney. She’s a probably drug-addicted young woman with a disfunctional family under tons of stress. That’s not special, it’s everyday reality in every city in this country. If you look at us as a whole society – damn! We really, really hate ourselves.
“let she who is without menstrual stains throw the first tampon”
Fucking brilliant lol!!
Thank you — I needed a laugh tonight. Genius.
I’ve had my divacup awhile…tried it a bunch of times and just couldn’t get it to work! I thought my pussy was defective…until TODAY!!! It is workin’ and rockin’ and yay! I don’t have to take my purse with me to the restroom. Like lastnight hangin with the boys, they knew when I took my clutch to the restroom what was goin’ on…I hate that! Now I can just strut my stuff and worry not about my lady bits leakin’!
i have “those days” too. i wish i had one of those pretty periods, where i could walk on the beach, carrying a bouquet of flowers and wearing a floaty dress. instead, i am the chalk outline on the sidewalk with the massive bloodstains around the crotch area, surrounded by crime scene tape, flashing blue lights and flares.
i had to change office chairs a couple of times too. then i acted surprised when ALL the chairs in the conference room were used and some of them looked like the loch ness monster had a miscarriage in the seat. “EWWWWWW! what is that? EWWWWWWWW! gross!”
i wish i had the fortitude to say, “yes, i did it! and i can do it again next week if anyone fucks with me! bring me chocolate now or i swear to god, i’ll menstruate!”
came across this all late…but has anyone seen the new Always brand commercials? Their new tagline is “Have a happy period.” And every time it comes on TV I need to shout out my answer: “Fuck yewww!!”
Another vote for the Diva Cup. This product has actually changed my life–I used to worry about tampons leaking all the time, since they would tend to run down the side rather than “fill properly”. Instead of going to the bathroom all the time to check on the ‘pon, I can be confident of my Canadian-made medical silicone. Truly an awesome product. Plus, no more spending excess money buying all that landfill-destined cotton, hooray!
I’m going to have to recommend the diva cup also, it is reusable so you save a lot of money over time and there isn’t as much changing involved. Also very safe- made out of hospital grade silicone.
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I just posted about my “Annual” and have decided that I can make a fortune on ceiling posters that feature Find-A-Word. I would use medical terminologies and warning words: Vaginitus, Warts, and of course Menstration. And then I’d have Kotex and OB sponsor all my posters. I’d make a million dollars.
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