“They Don’t Know, Who We Be.” But They Will.

Note from Team Cho: We want to thank all of you for being so motivated and passionate and inspiring and uplifting, and to share with you what people are sharing with us. Thank you for your spirit.

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Margaret,

I usually don’t write to people I don’t know (unless they’re my reps in Congress). I’ve decided to write this note to you because in a very sad but empowering way I’ve come to realize you’re probably the only person who will get what I need to say.

Wednesday morning was one of the hardest in my life. I woke up after barely getting 3 hours of sleep to discover that in a matter of hours it would be revealed that the great United States of America has been hijacked by ignorant and bigoted cowards. It shocked me, hurt me, and completely devastated me. I was demoralized and I cried long and hard for a country I’ve never really considered my own as I saw it turned into a place where people care more about not seeing people of the same sex who love each other be together, than the fact that their sons and daughters are dying in Iraq or that they can’t even afford proper healthcare. I was surprised by this immense pain because I recognized it. I’ve felt it before. It was heartbreak.

I was born and raised in Puerto Rico, a colony of the United States. My parents are rabid nationalists who want our country to be a republic independent from the American government. I moved to the U.S. after graduating high school to attend college here (in the rural South no less), and the culture shock can only be described as delicious. I was fascinated by the diversity of the people, the beauty and expand of the land. I loved it all. But I still saw America as the place that stole my country’s freedom. As a Latin American, I grew up knowing of the dirty American tricks that were at play in Central America, Chile, Colombia, and other places in the world. Because I am aware of and remember those actions, I’ve never really been able to feel American despite being born an American citizen. I’ve clung to my Puerto Rican identity while picking up a southern accent in Georgia, while falling in love with New York City even more deeply after 9/11, and while fighting tooth and nail to get Bush out of the White House this past year. And it wasn’t until Wednesday morning–drowning in tears and telling my mother on the phone I was moving to France–that I realized I *am* American. I am not only because there is much I love about this absurd country, but because my “values” are American. I believe in equality, personal freedom in the form of privacy, access to opportunity, the rule of law, justice, and most importantly, I believe in human rights. This country has an inspiring and admirable history in advancing human rights. What makes these moments in the country’s history so goosebump-inducing to me is that they have been long, hard slogs, beset with horribly painful set backs, but whence in the end, the American values prevailed. Abolitionists, suffragists, civil rights activists, anti-war activists, all these people have stood for all that is great about this country. And in that sense they are my brothers and sisters.

As I hysterically sobbed on the phone to my bleeding-heart liberal mother, I told her how disappointed I was that I had come to believe in a people that obviously don’t exist, that the America in my head and my heart simply wasn’t. I told her there was no way I could share air and space with people who are so filled with fear. As soon as I got off the phone with her I began plotting my escape. Would I try Canada first? Could I possibly stand living in Puerto Rico again? Is it really that wet in Ireland all the time? By the time I got to work I had spent my commute trying not to break down on the subway and was ready to take refuge in my daily online reading. That’s when the click came.

Yoda said it best: “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” Fear of those different. Fear of those we don’t understand. Fear of what we can’t explain or don’t know. Fear of losing control, power, comfort. After visiting the third blog I realized I knew what needed to be done.

I wanted to share this with you because I’ve respected you for many years, and have identified with your body-image struggles, but I didn’t get the big picture. I’ve been a feminist since I was 12 years old and I didn’t get how vital the struggle for gay rights is. How can we still allow this backwardness in this great country? How can it be acceptable for someone to claim they’re not homophobic and hateful when they oppose equal marriage for all Americans. How can this still be happening? Why aren’t we all outraged that second-class citizenship is still getting a pass here? This is shameful and an affront to American values and we can’t continue to condone it. It infuriates me that Bill Clinton would even suggest to Kerry that he campaign in favor of writing discrimination into the sacred texts of states. And Kerry’s response honestly calls for a round of blow jobs.

This is the struggle that will define our generation and I plan to be there. I have enlisted with a local gay rights advocacy group and I’m going to get dirty with this work. This is where my time, my money, my sweat, my energy, my talent, my life is going. Because this is the future I want and the one we need. I am encouraged and energized to know that’ll I’ll be part of the next watershed movement in this country. I am ashamed to say I never saw this as being in the same court as all the struggles in the ’60s and others throughout history.

My bad.

Now I’m ready to kick some ass.

Thank you, Margaret, for knowing what it was all about all along.

Love on,
-Y-

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Margaret,

I want to thank you for your last two blog entries. They have been truly helpful in getting through this trying time in our Nation’s history. I thought I would email this link because I think it would be great to post it on your blog and get it out to people. I am in no way affiliated with the makers of the video, SharedVoice.org, but just stumbled across it. The video clip is about 4 mins long and I would strongly recommend everyone who is feeling down about the election watch it. It moved me close to tears. Well, I’ll stop since I know you are busy but thank you for your continued work towards the type of America we all want and deserve.

Sincerely,
-A-
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Margaret,

A group of us read your blog yesterday, knowing that you would have shit fired up. We allowed ourselves one, only one, day of mourning, and today, we’re ready to roll 🙂 I am a Latina lesbian living in Orange County (you performed at the Irvine Improv…you saw what it’s like here). This is a hard place to organize for queer rights, but we’re doing it. We’re meeting with our Assembly Members, and I have high hopes that this will be the year, with the organizing skills of Equality California, that we will pass the Marriage Act here in California. We are working on getting some support for the Permanent Partners Immigration Act, so that we can get at least ONE of our 1,138 missing federal rights.

Please, keep encouraging everyone to get off the “let’s move to Canada!” bandwagon. Enough already. We have serious problems, and we need passionate, intelligent, wonderful people to attack them head on. That’s you. That’s me. Today’s a good day. I am afraid we would have grown complacent under Kerry. And although I’m still pissed as hell that Bush won, I’m not going to let that fucker steam roll the world.

You are an inspiration. Work it, girl. Keep on yelling, keep on fighting, keep on motivating us all. I’m not moving to Canada. There’s too much to be done in my own backyard.

xo
-C-

“When I dare to be powerful – to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” – Audre Lorde

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Dear Margaret-

I was compelled to drop you a note after spending hours recently on your website. I’ve seen a few of your shows live and knew that you were extremely supportive of the LGBT community but was not aware of what and activist and voice you truly are for us. I wholeheartedly agree with you in regards to the recent election. Now is not the time to get discouraged and run away from the opposition that is at hand. It truly is the time to organize and protest and make our voices heard throughout this country. I, myself, was feeling very weary after the elections ended, but after reading the letter you posted on the site, began to think…”wait, we can’t just stand back and let this happen!” I am a native of California and currently live in the city of Fresno. Yesterday one of the major Evangelical churches in our community hosted a conference called “Love Won Out,” which was sponsored by the right wing Christian group, Focus on the Family. The purpose of the conference was to teach the members of our community that homosexuality is not genetic and that it can be changed. Myself, along with about 50 other protestors (a nice sized group for such a small community), gathered in front of the church and “non-violently” protested the event for the entire duration of the conference. It was amazing to stand on the street corner with my sign, which read “Focus on your own family!” and to hear the hundreds of people passing by and honking their horns in support of what we were there doing. Of course some of the passers by would shout obscenities, but I see that as nothing more than ignorance. Long story short, I feel empowered now to fight the fight and not to give up. The truth is, there are many, many wonderful heterosexual people out there that do believe that homosexuals should be given the same civil rights as all Americans. Thank you again for being a voice for the LGBT community. You’re wonderful!

All the best,

-N-

Here’s a copy of the article that was run in today’s paper regarding the conference and protest.

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Dear Margaret,

First let me say, you are awesome. I do so admire you – your talent, your balls, your eloquence, your spirit. You are the real deal and a never-ending source of inspiration. Thank you for your insight. Thank you for sharing your journey through your stand-up. It has meant so much to me and so much to so many. I am Asian-American. My redneck Texan father met my Japanese mother after the Korean war when he was stationed (in the Air Force) in Fukuoka. I grew up watching Myushi Umeki on The Courtship of Eddie’s Father and thinking that was the only other Japanese woman on the planet besides my mom. (Admittedly, I lead a very sheltered existence in rural America.) The first time I ever heard you impersonating your mother in your stand-up I blew coke outta my nose. (Coke-a-cola. No. Really.) It made me laugh, of course, but it also made me rethink my relationship with my mother and just what kind of influence she had had on me as a woman. At 45 years of age I’m just now figuring it out. Somewhat. I’ve begun writing a show – again I was inspired by you – about my experience growing up Redneck Japanese in both Texas and Godforsaken Mississippi. (I’m an actress.) It’s called “Texanese Confessions: Living la Vida Yoko.” Hopefully before I’m fifty I’ll get that sucker up on stage.

But I digress.

I just read your blog for today, November 4, 2004. I want to share some thoughts with you. This is stuff that I’ve had rattling around my brain for a couple of days now and your mention of hate mail prompted me to email you. Here is what truly baffles me. Why are Republicans such sore winners? Why are they so angry at us even though they WON? THEIR. MAN. WON. I don’t get it. In my daily online reading I visit several liberal-and-proud-of-it-thank-you-very-much blogs and the accompanying comments. (Jim Gilliam for example.) There is inevitably at least one (and usually more) neocon(s) cursing liberals and calling us all losers and why that is and how wrong we are, how stupid we are, how misguided we are, (or much, much worse) and nanner, nanner, nanner, etc. etc. ad nauseam. WHY? I don’t go to any conservative-and-proud-of-it-thank-you-very-much blogs and post comments. I have no desire to. I DO visit websites (for example The Family Research Council – DAMN, that is some scary ass shit!) that have an opposing view from mine. It IS important to gather that information to gain a Big Picture understanding. “Know your enemy” and all. But why are these individuals haunting the most liberal blogs on the net to gloat instead of celebrating their victory with their own kind? They should be hanging out together doing a virtual Snoopy dance. One would think anyway. You WON! Leave us alone! Get the fuck out of my face and go party elsewhere. I don’t get it. Will they not be satisfied until they have abolished the First Amendment and turned the USA into a theocracy?

Another thing that not only baffles but upsets me. I lose sleep over this. The debate over who won, who lost, the merits of this candidate over that candidate, how their campaigns succeeded or failed – all of these things are politics-as-usual and granted very fascinating to me and scores of others. But politics, policy, government control – those are just words. It’s all just talk. And these discussions would be fun and invigorating if it were not for the scores of men, women and children dying THIS VERY MINUTE in an unjust war. Discussion of what any individual sitting safely at home deep in the heart of Texas or Middle America or WHEREVER gained or lost in political currency in this election is disgusting when you contemplate REALITY. People are being killed. Innocent LIVES are being lost for Chrissakes. Where is the outrage over “collateral damage” that we saw after the Oklahoma City bombing? (You may recall that was how Timothy McVay described the children in the day care center who died or were injured in the bombing.) Why aren’t we shedding tears over the dead and maimed children of Iraq? The dead American soldiers – many of them still children themselves? Why must we quibble over the minutiae of campaign strategies when it amounts to zero to any parent/spouse/child who is greeted at the airport by a flag draped coffin or a child/spouse/parent either maimed or so emotionally damaged by the horrors of war that they will never truly recover? How could anyone who purports to follow the teachings of Jesus sleep at night knowing that the killing continues and that this president was in office when we went to war, this president lied about the reasons for going to war and that this president let partisan politics and sheer GREED trump the good of the nation. (Okay, I honestly don’t think it was Bush making the calls. I think those decisions are made by Cheney and Rove and Rumsfeld with little or no input from Shrub who just isn’t smart enough to join in their reindeer games.) But that Americans could overlook these facts and re-elect Cheney’s hand-puppet while their fellow Americans are dying – it’s unfathomable. Really. It is. And I’ve been up since 3am yesterday thinking about it.

My heart aches for our country. We enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But it’s immoral when we allow those principles to degenerate into such callous selfishness. When me and mine is more important that you and yours we definitely have a problem. When fear of anyone who is different – their race, their religion (or lack thereof), their dress, their culture – allows us to turn a blind eye to their suffering then we are approaching very dangerous territory. History has a way of repeating itself and we all know where this kind of fear leads. We’re treading in treacherous waters.

I wish I could sit down with every single soul across the globe and apologize for our President and beg them not to hate all of America for what half of America has done. BTW, don’t know if you’ve seen it yet but there is an awesome website where people can post their photo and apology to the world. I think it’s a fabulous idea! And some of the photos are really funny. And the people all do look really, really sorry. Check it out at: http://www.sorryeverybody.com/

I’m extremely disappointed in the election outcome (and in half the country who would vote for douchebag/gasbag) as is every rational human being on the earth. Yet, I know that this is just the beginning of a long, hard road. I know that most of us agree that we are not defeated! Many gains were made by Democrats across the country. And we have a lot yet to accomplish. No doubt about that. The good news is Barack Obama is in the Senate and even here in Texas Democrats did well! Hubert Vo won a Texas House seat, defeating Talmadge Heflin, a 22-year incumbent and chairman of the Appropriations Committee. Lloyd Doggett and Chet Edwards overcame their gerrymandered districts and won reelection to Congress. Dallas elected Lupe Valdez, a lesbian and former migrant worker, as sheriff. In Austin, Mark Strama took a Texas House seat back from a Republican tied to Tom Delay, and Democrats maintained a hold on all of the civil district court benches. Hell, even Montana elected a Democratic governor, voted down cyanide mining and voted in medical marijuana. (I have a good friend who lives in Kallispell.) It’s not like Bush won in a landslide. HALF of this country vehemently disagree with him and his administration’s policy of rape & pillage. I think we did pretty damn well considering the near insurmountable task of facing down the Rove Machine. And I am motivated to action now more than ever. My anger at slimeball politics motivates me to action. Those killed, maimed and emotionally/psychologically damaged for life in the war, soldiers and civilians alike, motivate me to action. The victims of 9/11 who have yet to receive justice motivate me to action. This is a marathon we’re running and I think we’re all up to the task. We’ve accomplished so much in four short years! And the silver lining is, this administration will have no one to blame for their own incompetence – which would have been inevitable if Kerry took office in January. Because that’s how Rove works and Kerry’s job would have been fighting the evil GOP empire instead of tending to the nation had he won the election. It amazes me that Bill Clinton managed to accomplish anything while he was in office because he faced that fight for eight years. But then that is a true testament to the kind of leader he is. I fully realize – and realize I’m not alone – that we cannot afford to lose momentum now because in 2008 they will no doubt try to get Jeb in the White House or someone equally repugnant. Our job for the next four years is to block them every step of the way from enforcing their right-wing-fundamentalist ideology on all of us. So, onward and upward!

Thanks for listening, Margaret. Thanks for the inspiration. Thanks for being you.

Ciao Bella,
-L-

Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. — Vaclav Havel

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant. — Martin Luther King Jr, Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech, Dec. 10, 1964

One thought on ““They Don’t Know, Who We Be.” But They Will.

  1. This made me a bit sad (I was really touched by these letters!), but also inspired to take more action.

    Thank you, Margaret! I can imagine children someday learning your name as one of the people who really built momentum for the Queer Rights movement!

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