Note From Team Cho: Margaret and Bruce have begun their State of Emergency tour through many of the important swing states in the election. At the end of each entry from one of these swing states, we will include some important statistics and links.*
I was talking to a young activist named Todd in New Mexico who was working steadfastly on behalf of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, which is quite a fierce moniker for a political organization. It conjures up images of SWAT teams and helicopters, riot gear and rubber bullets. He was telling me about getting to know voters in his area.
New Mexico is an interesting state. It is fairly conservative, with a heavy military presence. It is also not very crowded, the vast expanses of desert take the place of cities and towns built up around Walmarts and Shoneys. There is also an amazing artistic community there, as well as a mega-rich elite class of divorcees, building second lives and second homes in Santa Fe, which makes it a strangely colorful and mysterious place.
Basically, the NGLTF makes it their job of going door to door, and introducing themselves. “Hi, my name is Todd. I am gay and I am an American. Let’s talk about marriage equality.” This type of grass roots activism has helped them keep anti-gay legislation at bay. It is the simple act of humanizing the struggle, in the most poignant terms, putting a face to a name. When you put your handshake and smile on the brutal face of bigotry, the grimace has to go. There just isn’t room in the heart for it.
It seems like a scary idea, going in to someone’s home that you don’t even know, and telling them who you are and what you need from them. What you need from them isn’t really much, though. It is just to pause before voting on something that would relegate you to second class citizenship. Marriage equality would do no harm to those vehemently opposed to it, besides the fact that it would exist. Yet, going to their house could be mildly upsetting. People might think you are insane, or worse, a Jehovah’s Witness. Who wants to be associated with that Avon lady/Girl’s Scout cookie religion? Yet the interaction is powerful.
Most voters who vote against gay marriage are likely not to know what they are voting against, because they have no experience with gay culture, and are just going with the flow of prejudice. If they are not given a chance to change, the opportunity to face the exact person they would be negatively affecting by their vote, they will always choose the evil they know.
It is very difficult to be mean to someone to their face. It isn’t human nature. I can’t accomplish this with any comfort at all. My spine gets tingly, my face starts to twitch. I get completely flushed and red with anxiety. If I have to be mean, I have to practice beforehand, because no matter what I say, I will be so nervous that the words will come out in a confusing jumble if they are not well rehearsed. If we take the human kindness factor and use it to our advantage in the struggle for marriage equality, then it will ultimately be what helps us win. Imagine, they will be thinking of you at the polls, worried that if marriage equality doesn’t pass, that you will be back, and worse, they will think it is their fault and fearful that you think it is their fault too.
Bravery never goes without reward, because luck and fate always side with courage. Pelting people with emails and petitions is the coward’s way. The freerepublic.com e- snipers are the perfect example of a spineless attack. They bombard you with hate filled emails, but you will never know them, they will never show their face anywhere, they are too ashamed of their beliefs to really stand side to side with them. Could you imagine conservative bigots actually going door to door?
When I was at the big protest against the Republican National Convention, there were easily over half a million protesters, and about 11 counterprotesters. They were mostly crazies, with multiple signs tacked onto their bodies and they had to have armies of police surrounding them to make sure that the protesters wouldn’t mock them too badly. But again, since the brave are recognized for their bravery, the media published multiple images of the same counterprotesters trying to start fights with the protesters so it looked like there were many, many, many more than actually were there.
For the most part, the conservatives couldn’t ever have a protest march the size of the one in New York because they would never be proud enough to advertise their homophobic hatred out on the street. We have pride on our side. Isn’t that enough to make you want to do something? We cannot have equality by degrees. This undermines the entire message and meaning of equality. Equality is an absolute. You cannot give equality to one and then deny it to another. That is not equality, that is something else. That is what we have now. What we are trying to do with marriage equality is bring our nation closer to the dream of democracy. It is less about marriage than it is about properly interpreting the constitution in a fair and just manner, one that is not determined by the religious affiliation of the current administration or the tides of the times.
A thought that my friend in New Mexico left me with was that this year, it is not enough to vote. We must all be activists. We are being called up, like the draft, to serve our country. The good news is, it isn’t overseas, and it’s a war we believe in. It’s a war for everything we are. Not as gay and lesbian Americans, but as Americans.
Whatever you decide to do, whether it is go to the house next door and tell them you would like to get married, to making donations to those organizations who are fighting for your rights, to telling everyone you know everything you know about marriage equality, to having a bake sale, to organizing a letter writing campaign, to whatever you think would assist the war effort. If we want to win, we have to get really low fi, analog, hands on. It has come to this.
*Note From Team Cho: New Mexico is a swinging swing state with 5 electoral votes. In 2000, NM barely went to Gore with 47.9% (Bush: 47.8%). In the most recent Zogby poll, Kerry is up 10 points in NM, although a recent Albuquerque Journal poll has Bush up 3 points over Kerry.
In February of this year, Sandoval County Clerk Victoria Dunlap, issued more than 60 marriage licenses to same-sex couples, until the state Attorney General intervened and said the licenses were illegal (article here). Groups working for Marriage Equality in New Mexico include: Coalition for Equality in New Mexico, Coalition for Gay & Lesbian Rights in New Mexico, Rights New Mexico.
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