“Your Dick Didn’t Even Go to Vietnam!”

This presidential race is the biggest dick contest in history. “Your dick is indecisive!” “Your dick started an unnecessary war!” “Your dick didn’t get injured enough in Vietnam!” “Your dick didn’t even go to Vietnam!” “Your dick is soft on terrorism!” “Your dick started terrorism!” “Your dick blamed Vietnam vets for atrocities that made all vets unable to come home to a hero’s welcome.” “Your dick forged its way out of military service!” Has this kind of dick waggling happened before outside of a pro- wrestling context?

It is embarrassing, because you want to believe that our leaders would have some decorum or gentility in the debate to win the most powerful position in the world. It literally is the battle over who gets to be the king of the planet. I want someone with a bit of self control in that position.

Of course, the Republicans started it, so you can’t fault Kerry for joining in. After all, the Democrats could stand to do a little mud-slinging. A lot of mud-slinging would be needed just to catch up.

Then there is Dick Cheney, who essentially said that if Kerry is voted in as president, terrorism will hit America again. How is that? Is Cheney going to make some calls? Apparently he has the hook up.

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