Rush Limbaugh is in an avalanche of shit, dawg! I think that he has been hateful for the entire time he has been in the public eye, even up until Wednesday, when he made that comment about Donovan McNabb making it because he is Black. Right, and I made it because I am Korean. What everyone fails to get that one of the unspoken rules of this country is that minorities have to be twice as good to get half the credit, and the only strides that have been made is in the lessening degree of prejudice we experience on our way up, generation after generation.

Rush has been an asshole from day one, the big bang y’all. He is the original aboriginal asshole, when all the Bill O’Reallys? and the pundit posse were still segment producing “A Current Affair”. Now, he is under investigation for the abuse of the prescription painkillers Oxycontin, Lorcet and hydrocondone. So the entire time he was hogging the bully pulpit, the dude was high as a kite. Rush Limbaugh is a junkie. At least he has good taste in drugs. That is the shit – Oxycontin – uh – I mean – so I hear.. No – really though, that is the drug that takes playas down, brings dynasties to their knees. It makes Quaaludes look like Flintstones chewable vitamins. Prescription painkillers are the drugs that people who know some shit about drugs do. It isn’t for the weekend warrior druggie, the “Pot Brownie” eating, smoke a bowl and watch movies every once in a while, mushrooms at Burning Man kind of user. Pills are the end of the line, the last waltz, where you really are walking in the valley of the shadow of death, or the dolls, whichever seems more appropriate. Basically, you are a refill away from breaking into a Tercel to steal a radio or smoking chunks of plaster board hoping it is crack or shoplifting shit from Saks.

I cannot stop picturing Rush as one of the Trainspotting crew, or selling his ass for a hit. He would have to suck so much dick to satisfy that jones, because apparently he was taking the pills by the handful, scoring thousands at a time. You go girl. Oh Rush! You were on a rush, and you couldn’t get off, and tried to detox twice, but you weren’t able to. I feel really sorry for him, and glad that I am a self incriminating liberal who revels in so much inappropriate disclosure of my personal life that nobody cares about my scandalous ways. Yes, I have taken a lot of drugs in my time, and precious few were because I was actually sick. More drugs made me sick than made me well, and I will do it again, once I remember where I put them. That is the problem. If I didn’t have so many holes in my brain from doing drugs, then I wouldn’t see the need to stop doing them, because really, I don’t give a shit. But I like thinking, and I remember a time when I was sharp and fast, my brain was a lightning lit up laptop, and nothing got past me. I had the best brain in the world, to start with anyway, and then it was like I dropped it on the floor. It is slow now. I take for-fucking-ever to load, and sometimes ideas are like huge files that are too big for me and my connection just times out. Specified server not found. I am a pathetic shadow of my pre-pharmaceutical intellectual self. Like a Henkels that got scraped on asphalt for 3 hours straight, my shit is dull. Sometimes I grieve for the adult I could have been with the depth and capacity for information and unconventional, original thought I once had, but mostly I forget to. Oh well.

What was I talking about?

The thing about it is that this really fucks up the Rush Limbaugh mystique, the staunch conservative, because he is a symbol of the morally driven American, mighty and patriotic, opinionated and pious, judging all the while not knowing that he would one day be judged. I don’t judge him for the drugs, because nobody is immune from the disease of addiction. It is part of the human condition, the unquenchable thirst for something that life is not, what you take to feel because you don’t want to feel. I get that, and I pray for Rush Limbaugh, and if he wants to call me anytime and just talk, he can get my number from Tucker Carlson.

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